FUCK YOU $CLIENT_NAME !

You tell me I've spent the last 6 months molesting and hacking your piece of garbage multistore prestashop?

Just for you to yet again, change the specifications, saying "I don't want a multistore anyway please split them up"

What an imbicile moron, you want me to duplicate the codebase/database 7 times? just to start "downgrading" each one individually? To make a few adjustments to each one.

What the fuck have you been smoking? I wasn't born with enough middle fingers to let you know how I feel about you.

That moment when they ask you to fix Sharepoint issue and you have null experience in it!

Someone tell volvo, thats not how this works...

There's something special about writing your first "Hello world!" in a new language, no matter how long you've been programming :)

So hello rust, let's see what the fuzz is all about...

They removed the coffee machine from our floor.

Mother fuckers.

Bring me my TEA...
I am fuckin stuck

set timeout from 8000 to 9000 (milliseconds) instead of optimizing an stored Procedure ._.

Hens Proved 😂

"I have a terminal illness"
*room goes silent*
"so I stopped using the terminal"
*bob throws his keyboard at me*

That moment when you finished your first REST API 🎉

And you realise all it can do is useless ☹️

But then you realise, you can extend the functions easily with you new knowledge 🎊

Man, this emotional up an down is exhausting 😆

Reading other people's rants.

My mom said that if I don't get off my computer and do my homework she'll slam my head on the keyboard, but I think she's jokinfjreoiwjrtwe4to8rkljreun8f4ny84c8y4t58lym4wthylmhawt4mylt4amlathnatyn

If you are a System admin and blocking Spotify for the devs know that you're a fucking asshole and karma is coming for you!

Good news: Today my app reached 1 million daily users. 😃😃😃💰

Bad news: It started out as a side project and my shitty code is not scaling well at all. 🙃

The most detailed error report I've ever had from a client. He couldn't login to his email, I asked him to send an email explaining what was going wrong, attach error messages, etc.
I got this from him:

"I can't login to my email, why"

Really?! 😑

The time a client compared me to an abortion for charging him a £10 monthly hosting fee...

Met a guy in the gym, he asked me to make him an online shop for supplements.
I quickly made a reactive, angular based shop with an admin page.
He paid, I put my name as the creator, it was all good...

...then he removed all legal products and added tons of anabolic steroids for horses in little jars (yes, he even added pro level photos).

I received a call from the police and had to prove that I don't manage his content.

Are you reading your own email?! Do you even comprehend what you just wrote?!

At least it's Friday. Happy Friday everyone!

People who email you then immediately walk over to check whether you've read the email yet

Final.zip
Final1.zip
Finalfinal.zip
final.v1.zip
Final.v2.zip

Project folder without git

When a recruiter puts Java in a job spec when they mean JavaScript

True, it is true

When your Dad questions your CS credentials because you can't fix his printer.

"Let's mark every issue a high priority so it all gets done faster."

Does anyone else suddenly lose the ability to type properly as soon as someone is watching/pairing?

Whenever anyone refers to software engineering as "IT" 😵

Client wants a hit counter in their site.....is this 1998?

Non Technical Friend - Bro Apple is the shit!! I'm getting a Macbook.
Me - How's it better than other laptops for you?
Friends - It looks the best .. It's Apple bro!
💢
.. Ok. Enjoy 😐

Most of what Architects do should be done by developers or by tools or not at all.

- Martin Fowler

There it is