This bus stole HTML 5 logo 😁😁😁

Sometimes when I’m drunk, I create functions in my head for things like default answers and stuff..

Nobody in IT ever smiles this much

Ladies and Gentlemen,

I present you the API I'm working with...

That's a pretty fucking useful error description right there.

Completely true.

One of the many things my non-programmer friends needs to learn!

IT guy

I'm finally happy that my carrier has got the GB to MB conversion right. 1gb != 1000mb

Appreciating the little things... Like having ports on my 2013 macbook.

But how many BYTES can it handle?

This guy loves Java too much.

That's the real difference!

One time I did that "show all windows" gesture while my MacBook was connected to a beamer in front of about eight people when suddenly a text editor containing tons of porn site accounts appeared from the background.

Every single day.

If programmers went on a permanent strike civilized world would be back to 18th century within a month. We need a union.

Learning Node.js, Express, React.js, ES6, and Mongo all at once. Haven't been this excited about programming since college. This stuff is incredible!

Writing clean code is what you must do in order to call yourself a professional. There is no reasonable excuse for doing anything less than your best. - Clean Code

!n case someone is unfamiliar with this joke ::

A man flying in a hot air balloon suddenly realizes he’s lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts to get directions, "Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?"

The man below says: "Yes. You're in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field."

"You must work in Information Technology," says the balloonist.

"I do" replies the man. "How did you know?"

"Well," says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but It's of no use to anyone."

The man below replies, "You must work in management."

"I do," replies the balloonist, *"But how'd you know?"**

"Well", says the man, "you don’t know where you are or where you’re going, but you expect me to be able to help. You’re in the same position you were before we met, but now it’s my fault."

Am I the only one that tries to make a program... but has an error for like 5 hours... and then realizes how to solve it while taking a showe?

One can only strive to be this good at cable management.

Had to enter the Apple world when joining the new job.

Used a good hour locating curly brackets, pipe and tilde on that cryptic keyboard.

User-friendly my ass.

*Now that's what I call a Hacker*

MOTHER OF ALL AUTOMATIONS

This seems a long post. but you will definitely +1 the post after reading this.

xxx: OK, so, our build engineer has left for another company. The dude was literally living inside the terminal. You know, that type of a guy who loves Vim, creates diagrams in Dot and writes wiki-posts in Markdown... If something - anything - requires more than 90 seconds of his time, he writes a script to automate that.

xxx: So we're sitting here, looking through his, uhm, "legacy"

xxx: You're gonna love this

xxx: smack-my-bitch-up.sh - sends a text message "late at work" to his wife (apparently). Automatically picks reasons from an array of strings, randomly. Runs inside a cron-job. The job fires if there are active SSH-sessions on the server after 9pm with his login.

xxx: kumar-asshole.sh - scans the inbox for emails from "Kumar" (a DBA at our clients). Looks for keywords like "help", "trouble", "sorry" etc. If keywords are found - the script SSHes into the clients server and rolls back the staging database to the latest backup. Then sends a reply "no worries mate, be careful next time".

xxx: hangover.sh - another cron-job that is set to specific dates. Sends automated emails like "not feeling well/gonna work from home" etc. Adds a random "reason" from another predefined array of strings. Fires if there are no interactive sessions on the server at 8:45am.

xxx: (and the oscar goes to) fuckingcoffee.sh - this one waits exactly 17 seconds (!), then opens an SSH session to our coffee-machine (we had no frikin idea the coffee machine is on the network, runs linux and has SSHD up and running) and sends some weird gibberish to it. Looks binary. Turns out this thing starts brewing a mid-sized half-caf latte and waits another 24 (!) seconds before pouring it into a cup. The timing is exactly how long it takes to walk to the machine from the dudes desk.

xxx: holy sh*t I'm keeping those

Credit: http://bit.ly/1jcTuTT

The bash scripts weren't bogus, you can find his scripts on the this github URL:
https://github.com/narkoz/...

We hired a new team lead. On his first day he wore green leather elf shoes. Yeah, the pointy kind.

He also ended up being one of my favorite people ever, but also one of the weirdest.

My programming teacher at university is programming like this. I'd better not learn anything from him

Every web developer must have experienced this......

The real question.

nixcraft being nixcraft.

One of many things my non-programmer friends needs to learn!

A group of chicken running Debian