Details
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AboutAndroid Developer, sometimes I webdev
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SkillsJava, Kotlin ❤, JS, SQL
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LocationGermany
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Github
Joined devRant on 4/8/2017
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Shout-out the women who share their work without plastering it in hashtags relating to #womenwhocode
You the real ones.20 -
worst part of WFH:
- The work PC is the game PC
- The game PC is the work PC
- Feels like i'm playing while working
- Feels like i'm working while playing7 -
- not seeing and hugging my colleagues (I miss hugs SO much, with everyone)
- everything being online, which makes it less serious and more like a game I can just turn off. It makes it very hard to keep myself motivated7 -
Working hours basically never end.
Pair that with a very tight schedule and you have the perfect recipe for working from 9AM until 1:30AM everyday including weekends (what are those again?)3 -
Not a rant about anything in particular. Just a summary of some feelings stored in the hateful part of my heart.
Developing for Android: Add this third-party library to your Gradle build. Use (this) built-in Android class to make the thing work.
*Clicks link
Deprecated since API version SUCKMYDICK-7. Use (this) instead
*Clicks link
Deprecated since API version LICKMYBALLS-32. Use...
Developing for Windows: Please use (this) API call. It was literally already available before Bill Gates was born. Carbon dating has placed this item to older than the universe itself and it is likely the entry point for the big bang. It is also still the best way to accomplish (task).
Developing for Linux: "Hmm, I wonder how to use this"
> > > Some shitty mailing list in small blue monospace font tells you to reference a man page that is three versions behind but the only version available.
What? Those three sentences didn't explain it enough? Well, maybe you aren't cut out for this type of thing.
JavaScript: you know how it is.
SQL: You expect a decent-quality answer from stack overflow but you always get an outdated and hacky response and it's using syntax from Microsoft SQL. You need MySQL.
C#: A surprising number of Microsoft forum results ranking high on Google. You click on one in hopes that it will be of any sort of quality. You quickly close the tab and wonder why you ever even had hope.
Literally any REST API: Is it "query" or "q"? "UserID" or "user_id"? Oh, fuck, where's the docs again?
You thought you escaped JavaScript, but it was a trick!: Some bullshit library you downloaded to make your other library work redefined one of the global variables in the project you inherited. Now you get 347 "<x> is not a function" errors in your console. Good luck, asshole.
FontAwesome/ Material fonts/ Any icon font pack: You search "Close" for a close button icon. No results. You search "Simplified railroad crossing sign without the railroad". You get a close icon.
I think that's all of my pent up rage. Each of them were too small for an individual rant so I had to do this essay.2 -
Watching the Dutch government trying to get through the public procurement process for a "corona app" is equal parts hilarious and terrifying.
7 large IT firms screaming that they're going to make the perfect app.
Presentations with happy guitar strumming advertisement videos about how everyone will feel healthy, picnicking on green sunny meadows with laughing families, if only their app is installed on every citizen's phone.
Luckily, also plenty of security and privacy experts completely body-bagging these firms.
"It will connect people to fight this disease together" -- "BUT HOW" -- "The magic of Bluetooth. And maybe... machine learning. Oh! And blockchain!" -- "BUT HOW" -- "Shut up give us money, we promise, our app is going to cure the planet"
You got salesmen, promising their app will be ready in 2 weeks, although they can't even show any screenshots yet.
You got politicians mispronouncing technical terminology, trying hard to look as informed as possible.
You got TV presenters polling population support for "The App" by interviewing the most digitally oblivious people.
One of the app development firms (using some blockchain-based crap) promised transparency about their source code for auditing.... so they committed their source, including a backup file from one of their other apps, containing 200 emails/passwords to Github.
It's kind of entertaining... in the same way as a surgery documentary about the removal of glass shards from a sexually adventurous guy's butthole.
Imma keep watching out of morbid fascination.... from a very safe distance, far away from the blood and shit that's splattering against the walls.
And my phone -- keep your filthy infected bytes away from my sweet baby.
I'll stick with social distancing, regular hand washing, working from home and limited supermarket trips, thank you very much.26 -
Co-worker presented her work by sharing her screen. She forgot to unshare.
She proceeded to open Chrome and search: "Can I sue co-worker if I get coronavirus because he coughed?"
Another employee said: "Your screen is showing" :/13 -
Refactored an authentication library a while back and teams are now getting around to updating their nuget packages.
It is a breaking change, but a simple one. The constructor takes a connection string, application name, and user name.
A dev messages me yesterday saying ...
Tom: "I made the required changes, but I'm getting a null reference exception when I try to use the authorization manager"
Odd because the changes have been in production for months in other apps, so I asked him to send me a screen shot of how he was using the class (see attached image below).
Me: "Send me a screenshot of how you are using the class"
<I look at what he sent>
Me: "Do you really not see the problem why it is not working?"
<about 10 minutes later>
Tom: "Do I need to pass a real connection string? The parameter hint didn't say exactly what I should pass."
<not true, but I wasn't going to embarrass him any more>
<5 minutes later>
Tom: "The authorization still isn't working"
Me: "Do you still have 'UserName' instead of the actual user name?"
<few minutes later>
Tom: "Authorization is working perfect, thanks!"
A little while later my manager messages me..
B:"I'm getting reports from managers that developers are having a lot of problems with the changes to the authorization nuget package. Were these changes tested? Can you work with the teams to get these issues resolved as soon as possible? I want this to be your top priority today."
Me: "It was Tom"
B: "Never mind."11 -
Some day, somehow, we will all get punished for all the shitty code we have written. All the hacks, all the shortcurts will get back to us. Some day.5
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"Everyone knows that debugging is twice as hard as writing a program in the first place. So if you're as clever as you can be when you write it, how will you ever debug it?"
- Brian W. Kernighan (The Elements of Programming Style)5 -
Got bought these by our CEO today as a way of him saying thank you. Means a lot to get such recognition from someone you look up to.12
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Hi guys, I am an Indie Game developer and I am launching a fully playable demo of my Space game STRIFE - Battle for the Southern Star tonight at 7pm GMT. Would love for my fellow Dev Ranters to check it out! Download will be available on the games Website below: www.pretzelstudios.co.uk/ at 7PM.22
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Anyone else feel like the rebranding was completely forced?
The typeface was so much better before. Google, I know you've invested heavily in sans-serif-ing the world for some reason but come on. Give it a rest.10 -
I set the fucking alarm at 06.40. It's now 10.56 and I just woke up. What the HELL IS WRONG WITH ME?!24
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In what fucking programming language a constructor can return a nullable value???
Swift of course. :|
Fuck apple :-)5 -
I've discovered there's two sections of devRant:
- Individuals in the workforce fed up with /r/programmerhumor and who hate Twitter
- Teens with a superiority complex, no friends, and acne12