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LocationNairobi
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Github
Joined devRant on 7/2/2018
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*CTO in panic, as always, invites everyone to the war room*
CTO: We have a MAJOR problem where 0.0001% of our customers are not receiving SMS confirmations.
Me: Cool. But, 0.0001% is very less compared to the other problems we are solving.
CTO: You don't understand, this is critical issue that needs to be addressed immediately.
Me: But even those.0.0001% customers are receiving e-mail confirmations, so this is not even blocker as we have other channels working.
CTO: I am emotional at this point. You need to prioritise this now.
Me: Okay, do we know the root cause of this problem?
Engineering head: we have blacklisted those numbers in past as our system detected them abusing our platform.
Me: Cool. Let's whitelist them, nothing much to worry here.
CTO: Floyd, you need to understand that 0.0001% of the customers are not receiving the SMS and the solution you are proposing is incorrect.
Me: Okay, what do you suggest?
CTO: We stop sending the SMS to all the customers.
Everyone on the call: 😨18 -
I just gave a 20 minute presentation in front of fifty people, and apparently did well enough that I got five private compliments afterwards, including one from the vice president. 🥳
And all of that without a single drop of rum!17 -
Security starts as soon as the project starts. Every decision you make needs to be one that considers whether you will compromise on security - but human beings fail to do this for one reason - bureaucracy.5
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No line for the bathroom. Listening to music without headphones. Getting up and pacing around like a crazy person when I'm thinking. Cursing loudly. Not wearing pants. Petting my dog frequently.
WFH is the best5 -
Coworker wrote a nice package and put it on Github, to share with other departments.
I link his package on our company Slack, mentioning a team, with text "What do you think of this one? Is it usable for you guys?"
Next thing I know I have to explain to an executive why I'm "posting pictures of seductive cartoon girls in company chat with disrespectful commentary"
It linked the Github profile picture of the developer in Slack. A fully clothed anime girl, nothing particularly lewd about it.
But I like stabbing back a bit, and confusing the fuck out of people in suits:
"Hate to say it, but a good majority of all the code the company runs on, is written by people known as weebs, who use their so called waifus as their GitHub profile picture. It is very common for open source Javascript packages, but since we recruited 50 extra devs it now also happens internally. It's not my thing either sir, but I'm afraid we have to embrace it... "
"But what about our female devs? What about Joanna, she's in your team? We have to think of diversity! Our investors are really in to diversity, we can't have a bro culture!"
"Sir, with all due respect, we have super diverse teams without even trying. The problem is... they're all millennials. They grew up on weird memes... and are probably ten steps further in embracing diversity compared to the rest of the company."
"Also, Joanna is the one who drew this particular picture. She's charging a €15 commission for profile pictures... Do you want one of your fursona, sir?"
"What is that?"
"Uh... nevermind. Let's... let's not go there"48 -
We just got into a malicious bots database with root access.
So guard duty gave us some warnings for our tableau server, after investigating we found an ip that was spamming us trying all sorts. After trying some stuff we managed to access their MySQL database, root root logged us in. Anyway the database we just broke into seems to have schemas for not only the bot but also a few Chinese gambling websites. There are lots of payment details on here.
Big question, who do we report this to, and what's the best way to do so anonymously? I'm assuming the malicious bot has just hyjacked the server for these gambling sites so we won't touch those but dropping the schema the bot is using is also viable. However it has a list of other ips, trying those we found more compromised servers which we could also log in to with root root.
This is kinda ongoing, writing this as my coworker is digging through this more.11 -
So a few days ago I felt pretty h*ckin professional.
I'm an intern and my job was to get the last 2003 server off the racks (It's a government job, so it's a wonder we only have one 2003 server left). The problem being that the service running on that server cannot just be placed on a new OS. It's some custom engineering document server that was built in 2003 on a 1995 tech stack and it had been abandoned for so long that it was apparently lost to time with no hope of recovery.
"Please redesign the system. Use a modern tech stack. Have at it, she's your project, do as you wish."
Music to my ears.
First challenge is getting the data off the old server. It's a 1995 .mdb file, so the most recent version of Access that would be able to open it is 2010.
Option two: There's an "export" button that literally just vomits all 16,644 records into a tab-delimited text file. Since this option didn't require scavenging up an old version of Access, I wrote a Python script to just read the export file.
And something like 30% of the records were invalid. Why? Well, one of the fields allowed for newline characters. This was an issue because records were separated by newline. So any record with a field containing newline became invalid.
Although, this did not stop me. Not even close. I figured it out and fixed it in about 10 minutes. All records read into the program without issue.
Next for designing the database. My stack is MySQL and NodeJS, which my supervisors approved of. There was a lot of data that looked like it would fit into an integer, but one or two odd records would have something like "1050b" which mean that just a few items prevented me from having as slick of a database design as I wanted. I designed the tables, about 18 columns per record, mostly varchar(64).
Next challenge was putting the exported data into the database. At first I thought of doing it record by record from my python script. Connect to the MySQL server and just iterate over all the data I had. But what I ended up actually doing was generating a .sql file and running that on the server. This took a few tries thanks to a lot of inconsistencies in the data, but eventually, I got all 16k records in the new database and I had never been so happy.
The next two hours were very productive, designing a front end which was very clean. I had just enough time to design a rough prototype that works totally off ajax requests. I want to keep it that way so that other services can contact this data, as it may be useful to have an engineering data API.
Anyways, that was my win story of the week. I was handed a challenge; an old, decaying server full of important data, and despite the hitches one might expect from archaic data, I was able to rescue every byte. I will probably be presenting my prototype to the higher ups in Engineering sometime this week.
Happy Algo!8 -
Why I love to code?
1. The only thing I feel like I have control over (thanks to control loops XD).
2. Feeling like god when my code works.
3. I just love it, no reason needed, just pure love for it.1 -
Old boss story. This guy was nice but a terrible boss. Also relevant, he has a background in IT so should know better.
Him: So when you wanna check a password is correct you just unhash it in the database?
Me: *facepalm*
Me: Hey we should be doing unit and integration testing at a minimum to lower bugs.
Him: We don't need those, we're not a bank. If a problem comes up we just fix it and push to production.
(A while later)
Him(in email): Why do we keep getting bugs reported. Don't you devs test your code.
I was mildly annoyed at that one.
Him: We're always over budget on projects, how can we fix this.
Me: What if we increase our quotes.(technically there are other ways as well but not really possible at that time)
Him: We can't do that, clients won't want to pay.
Me: *finishing off my handover as I'm leaving for a new job*
Him: Wow you do a lot of work2 -
Today my sister told me "bro, I want you to teach me how to program". My gf told me the same some months ago
So proud of my girls 😍11 -
I think I nailed it.
I had an interview on Friday. Never had I ever such a good one. Everything went so smoothly I'm amazed to this moment.
It started pretty much normally. Few questions about me and my CV. Next some soft skills check and few minutes talking in English to make sure I know how to speak.
Next, two funny trick questions. I hope I'll translate them good enough.
1) You've got 6 cups in a row. Three of them, next to each other, are empty. Remaining 3 are full. You've got one movement to make them stand alternately, ie. Full, empty, etc. or Empty, full etc.
2) You've got yourself a cake. Normal, birthday cake in a shape of a cylinder. On three cuts, you have to cut it in 8 equal pieces.
Next was technical interview. The only thing I couldn't answer to was a formula to get angle between camera and two objects on the scene. Something about cos x.
They told me that I was the only recruitee to make project using Hololens SDK. Other people made the images gallery in 2D only.
Also they were VERY impressed that I managed to send them fix that changed a lot of the gallery in an hour. No one was expecting it so fast since the feature wasn't all that simple. Or so they said. Code was written so it wasn't hard to implement this change.
Now I've got to wait at least a week for their response. As you could imagine, I'm nervously checking my email each time I get any spam.
I'd like to thank @fire-phoenix and @Root that were responding to my last posts about this new work tasks and current hardships. I know it's a bit too early to celebrate but I'm just so hyped for how well everything went 😀10 -
Happy Monday Ya'll, may your code be bug-less and JIRA unfilled.
(I know none of this will happen but damn it dream will you) -
Long meeting with a coworker presenting a huge, complicated system to track changes to configuration files.
Basically, whenever someone needs to change a config file, this person is supposed to manually enter an entry to a changelog file, and the build system is supposed to give an error if the person forgets to update the changelog.
At the end of the 1 hour long presentation, I raise my hand and say: "we are already using git for our config files, look:
$ git log <filename>
here you can see the list of changes to the file. What you describe is already available, no need to reinvent it."
Long akward silence in the room.
The presenter: "okay, I will look into that. Any other questions?"
Haven't heard about that project since then.1 -
Fellow developers,
For all people asking u to be partners of their "billionaire" idea, and to be paid from revenue ONLY when the plateform goes live or shit like this, BEWARE.
For all of them i had the same answer: "ok, ill share with you the project, but until it goes live, i am the only one who is giving sacrifice, and since we are partners, i want us both to do same level of sacrifices in order to deserve later the share of revenue... That being said, u have to pay the hours of devlopment, all of them, and when it goes live, from the revenue ill get, ill pay you back what you paid on dev cost"
It is the only way to be really even...
And if he refuse, ask them again "why? I taought u where 100% sure that your idea will work and become a billionaire why u think it is risky tp pay few thousands????"
... Now he is having second thaughts12 -
Today my current company fuck itself.
We were in negotiations about the end of my contract/mission, I want to quit to create a company around AI.
And the actual chairman said to me "You think too highly of yourself. I could find a tenth of people to replace you so shut up and take what we offer".
30 minutes later they received my resignation. 1h after that, the 15 dev under me resigned (after two year working with us they are clearly under paid). At the end of the day, the Head of product and the two good PO resigned.
This morning I get an email, talking about suing me as I made everyone resigned and asking for a meeting.
So I went to the meeting with a lawyer, they weren't expecting it. Boring legal stuff came after that.
And the funny fact: at the end of the meeting the CIO, chief ops and the SRE resigned as well.... As they didn't want to have the run it without all the team...
Funny day :)
Last month the main product, 90% of the company use it, was launched. And in three months 80% if the IT profiles will be out...36