If you had
one language
One framework
To code everything you want
Would you learn it or let it pass

His code is heavy,
arms are weak,
mind is bending.
It's all spaghetti.
He is nervous but looks calm and ready
to go now
but he keeps on forgetting
what he wrote down.
The manager is getting loud
He moves his mouse but the bugs won't got out
They are features now
Time to ship
Over blaow!

Wear headphones at home office. Not because I can't play it out loud, but when you go around in Iron Maiden shirts the wife gives you a hard time about listening to J-pop.

Dear Clients,

if you really think what I do has so little value that you won’t pay for it, why on earth would you think it was going to help your business in any way? It’s clearly not worth it. How can it have a positive impact?

- Your Unpaid Developer

Just created a batch file to delete a directory so that I don't have to right click and move my mouse all the way to delete and click it.

Invest in a good pair of noise cancelling headphones.

Ancillary: Have an "emergency" pair that you leave at your work desk for those times you forget your good headphones.

To all new devs:
- Your language of choice is fine.
- There is no superior way to indent, yours is fine.
- Your IDE is fine.
- Your OS is fine.

Unless you work in my team, of course.

I'm guessing someone at Microsoft is color blind :)

Is it strange that I'm getting more constructive advice from the Devrant community than the co-workers around me?

No lie, I discovered gistboxapp, vue.js, hacker noon and a bunch of other cool stuff through here.

If you are not breaking stuff, you are not learning.

Started my day by running a forkbomb on my own computer to prove to someone what it was 😑Wake me up when it's Saturday.

Learn git. For real. Not just git pull and git push. Setup git with a mergetool and do the gitimmersion tutorial. Be the gitmaster!

Devs are known to give up quickly especially beginners...all I can say to them is..

...there is nothing like smooth mountains, you have to go through the ragged edges and valley's to get to the top...

Don't stop Coding... and dont give up.

Everyone has something to learn and teach. Start up a blog, submit to conference proposals, etc. If you're learning it then someone else has to learn it in the future, so make it easier for them.

Most important phrase I learnt. "Can it wait till tomorrow?" Keep you work life balance healthy.

This Fibonacci joke is as bad as the last two you heard combined.

Introducing Marvel's newest anti-hero...Threadpool. He can do three things at once...I never said it was a big thread pool. He must get revenge on his nemesis Task Manager with the help of his side kick Q.

Sometimes we say the customers they have to clear their browser cache but actually we are fixing the bugs they just found while talking with them on the phone.

Don't do this, Chrome

The cyber police...

I was explaining to my mom how my company is in need of developers and how we'll need more of them in the future - to which she replied:

"oh... what are you going to do? You can't live without a job!"

- erm? What?

"Well - you're not smart like those guys. You'll probably get fired now."

- Wtf mom!? I'm a friggin lead dev and i've been a developer for like 10 years now!? 😳

*silence* "is that what you've been doing? I thought you just kept clicking on stuff"

I received this from a recruiter. I can't handle the number of syntax errors. Who is it a appealing to :/

fsck this!

Don't know if this has been post yet before but ohhh well

Once a customer wanted to pay our invoice cash in a meeting. Then he came up with 14995€. As we asked where the 5€ are he could not remember immediately, but then he yelled: OH YEA I GOT HUNGRY ON THE WAY TO YOU.

I'm not a huge fan of the idea of this place becoming a Q&A for code...
I mean that's what Stackoverflow is for.
I came here for good Rants and occasional memes.

IT department created a risk assessment system and asked us to fill out the form.

I found that the form is vulnerable to XSS and possibly SQL injection so I told them and their response was:

"Oh, shit. Please don't tell anyone!"

Of course, it never get fixed :/

One of our clients old CMS was completely hand written, allowed execution of PHP files in the uploads directory with an uploader that was publicly accessible, and the "security" was MD5 hashed passwords. Oh and the username/password for the admin user was password.

Windows users everywhere.

i rant that i live in a dictatorship with an idiot president who bans whatsapp and facebook to prevent protests (in reaction to having arrested opposition party members of parliament), and github (yes, github) to prevent the spread of a minister's leaked e-mails. now the government is seriously considering shutting down vpn services to prevent by-passing the bans.

on the other hand, it's a nice time and place to continue ms studies on ad-hoc networks - that is of course if i can avoid being arrested or killed before i even start my thesis.

My visual studio birthday cake 😂