Oh God :(

Choose a name.

Just got this slack from our server admin.

git commit -m 'fixed the issue with my light switch'

the more people watching the fancier the code gets

Using ffmpeg to convert some videos from the command line

Javascript in a nutshell

This had to be done. What's your choice?

Found out where the Amazon Developers keep their debug buddy.... bottom of their source code.
A duck that makes a meow noise.
Interesting choice

Just a random thought.. instead of sending stickers (or the stress ball for that matter) from USA to someone in India, why can't there be distributed 3D printing services spread across the globe, so that it's just a matter of delegating the delivery to local deliver services in the country/city? Sounds like an idea? 🤔

I feel like I need a shower after looking at this 💀🚿

Scalability

Client-Side Form Validation only be like...

Use Xamarin, they said. It will be easy, they said. You will only need to write your UI once, they said. NOPE
Documentation is shit, I've been sitting here for the past hour and a half figuring out how to add an icon to a button in their shiny XAML thing for which they have NO DOCUMENTATION. THEY WANT YOU TO HOE IT OVER C# BUT THEY ONLY GIVE EXAMPLES IN C#. And now I'm trying to figure out where I can download the iOS UIBarButton icons, because you can't use native icons and fuck apple too, they don't want to give em to you.
What a hellhole.
All while my client is constantly spamming me in all ways, distracting me, marking issues as "supercritical" (which makes an alarm ring on my phone and is only meant for emergencies) and otherwise distracting the living daylight out of asking for screens of the UI.

AND I STILL PREFER IT OVER ANDROID STUDIO. Don't even get me started on that one.

Just spent 1 week following the upgrade tutorial from one framework to the next. Using their upgrade tool and following the documentation.
Finally finish the work, most things are working it just doesn't seem to work quite right. Must have missed something.
After some digging it turns out they completely removed a function that I rely heavily upon. No mention in the upgrade document, no possible work around. Every forum post about it either has no replies or it says "it's a new feature".
Well fuck you.
The whole project is now useless.
Fml 😭

Savage....

Intelligence had a future till...

I wonder, who this lady. Almost everyday gotta stare at her.

I hate it when all tutorials fail to explain MVC in detail...

I achieved great confusion.

When your floor names a room Galileo and you have @bachmanity as a co-worker...

when the customer says: "we want this but better and cheaper"

Meeting deadlines like...

Pro tip:
Decorate your room like a lecture hall so you fall asleep faster

A Geologist and an engineer are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY. The Geologist leans over to the Engineer and asks if he would like to play a fun game. The Engineer just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The Geologist persists and explains that the game is real easy and a lotta fun. He explains, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5. Then you ask me a question, and if I don't know the answer, I'll pay you $5." Again, the Engineer politely declines and tries to get to sleep. The Geologist now somewhat agitated, says, "OK, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5, and if I don't know the answer, I'll pay you $50!"

This catches the Engineer's attention, and he sees no end to this torment unless he plays, so he agrees to the game. The Geologist asks the first question. "What's the distance from the Earth to the moon?"

The Engineer doesn't say a word, but reaches into his wallet, pulls out a five dollar bill and hands it to the Geologist.

Now, it's the Engineer's turn. He asks the Geologist, "What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down on four?" The Geologist looks up at him with a puzzled look. He takes out his laptop computer and searches all of his references. He taps into the Airphone with his modem and searches the net and the Library of Congress. Frustrated, he sends e-mail to his co-workers -- all to no avail.

After about an hour, he wakes the Engineer and hands him $50. The Engineer politely takes the $50 and turns away to try to get back to sleep.

The Geologist is more than a little miffed, shakes the Engineer and asks, "Well, so what's the answer?"

Without a word, the Engineer reaches into his wallet, hands the Geologist $5, and turns away to get back to sleep.

Developer (master's degree, -bleeping- smart guy, no kidding) was bragging on how he made a piece of code 3x faster (with the usual pinch that the original dev was incompetent) and spent nearly 6 weeks working on it (wrote his own parallel-foreach library because Microsoft's parallel library was "too slow").
I was the original dev and he didn't know I had my own performance counters where I broke down each stack (database access, network I/O, and the code logic).
Average time was around 5ms (yes milliseconds) and worst case was around 10 seconds. His '3x improvement' was based on the worst test case, which improved by about a second. Showed our boss my graph (laughed out loud, said 'WTF', other curse words) and the dev hasn't spoken to me in weeks (I say 'hi' in the hall and he keeps walking)
Take that master's degree and high IQ and shove it.

Oh yes I know how it feels.

It's not a bug - it's an alternative feature

Whaaaaaaa

Js frontend
Js backend
Js mobile apps
Js desktop apps
What's next? Js kernel?

When the normal cream doesn't do the job...