The joys of web dev

"Dude, don’t you hate it when people say "well yes and no" like they are some kind of goddamn quantum computer or something?"

That's how you simplify stuff and everyone will believe it's rocket science.

When your coworker appreciates your code saying it's neat and beautiful

"How would you reverse a string?"

One of the best Java interview questions I ever had! (no kidding)

HTTP response code cheat sheet
(From /r/Programmer humor)

If you think HTML is a programming language, you're a fkn idiot.

While debugging some java code by our Senior Architect, I found this gem: 5000 padding done manually.

PS: Jr Developer here.

I don't want to live in this world anymore. People are making fidget spinner apps, which are completely useless and getting 1 million+ downloads. And I am working hard to make educational app and hardly got 100 downloads with 0.03$ earnings.

"Are you familiar with uploading your code to Google Drive?"

I left the building at that exact moment.

Ahhh DDoS attacks

Dev superpower? The ability to use sudo on people ☺️

Do you ever have those weeks where you have to fix a bug, then uncover another bug then another then another. Then you realise some functionality is completely missing. You write tests to cover your bug fixes and new functionality. Then you realise tests are broken with your fixes and you have no idea why. Then you get so frustrated you start making silly mistakes. Then your debugger starts playing up.... Yeah that's been my week.

Totally agreed.

!rant

Achievement Unlocked:
Manage to get +1s from both dfox and trogus in the same day. :D

I hate fanboys. If ANYBODY is saying something against "their" company, they get upset and argue about it like little children. If your technology is shit, if your browser sucks, if your phone explodes, if your OS is slow, just admit it. I can't stand these fuckers thinking they have to defend themselves just cause a company released a shit product...

I sometimes make memes... When I should be working on a game...

Who the fuck is able to not understand the basics of git. With ten years, supposedly , of front end experience. How in the hell do you not understand version control.

Never heard of anyone in tier 4+

No, I will not register on Pinterest. Never! I don't even understand what the hell that site is.

Reasons to beta test others software:
99% To show it off to others
1% To auctually help

Good intention though

From now on ill just answer every question with "its a built in feature in java"

Oh snap! Stackoverflow going with the hard hitting questions!

So devRant is an app I found while coming up with an idea to create a platform for developers to rant.....DAMN IT!!!

I thought the antenna actually did something... nevermind

I saw this on the internet.

I just had a client complaining on the phone that she read my database design documents and that they are all wrong and need to be done again. Because things like varchar and int are confusing. And nobody understands what they mean. She asked around and nobody understood it.

Ooh, and I should place the customer name in more then one table because it would be handy to have in several places.

Spend a hour on the phone trying to explain that these documents are not intended for her. They are not for her to understand.

I make these documents to build a stable product and in case something bad happens to me its easier to pick up for another developer.

Long story short.. I'm currently making a document that explains the database design... Getting paid for it..... But fucking hell. Somebody save me.

Dear Chrome,

I know it's ridiculous to have 50+ tabs open, but please - pretty please - just make it work for me. 300 MB/tab is starting to make Windows mad.

No, I will not close them. I might need that page I opened 4 months ago and was too lazy to bookmark.

Your abusive friend,

-chappjc

Yep. So the dev teams boss says it's fine to run a production environment on a single Windows instance with the db on that same instance, which they already totally lost once from a reboot after an auto update before I came along tasked with fixing the cluster fuck they created.

This from a man who somehow runs a dev team while using gmail via the web because he can't use an email client, uses email to track tasks but can't because they get lost amongst his 3000+ unread emails, has a screen dirtier than a hookers vag on half priced Tuesday, and got a new laptop but had to get his daughter to set it up and transfer his data because he couldn't.

But ok... you have a degree, You must know what you're doing.
It's ok though, I'll keep covering your incompetent ass while you keep raping the company because no one listens.
Peoples ignorance and arrogance astounds me.