My classmates are such hypocrites. They pretend to be programmers, but they can't fool me.

"Oh sorry. I can't show you the result of my html code. I have to compile it first, but there's no WiFi."

There's so many things wrong with that.

It's 2018, web developers, let get our tools on..

Quite possibly the worst question I have ever seen on Stack Overflow

Good news: Today my app reached 1 million daily users. 😃😃😃💰

Bad news: It started out as a side project and my shitty code is not scaling well at all. 🙃

When you escape outside from everybody, and the nature gives you its best debugging buddy!

Sorry for the quality, it was dark and that's the best I could do with it.

It scared the shit out of me at first :D

When you say "almost 2" instead of 1.7 because you're not sure your customers understand the decimal system.

I imagine two dev colleagues sitting next to each other, on their phone, each feeling very secure in the anonymity of devrant.

!dev
Nearly had a crash today driving home and almost had a heart attack. Apparently my car had the heart attack for me and started doing. A speaker test.

So I'm contemplating what just happened and my car's speakers start going BEEEEP BEEEP BOOOOOOOOOOOOP (Subwoofer).

Then the radio came on and switched to a Spanish station.

I looked it up, apparently I had entered diagnostic mode on the infotainment system when I was fiddling with the wheel buttons as a stress relief.

Long story short, the diagnostic mode informed me that my car runs Windows ME!
I would like a new car please, kthxbye.

Me when I gonna help a colleague who uses a light background in the text editor:

OH MY GOD MY EYES ARE BURNING LET ME GET BACK TO THE DARKNESS

Just found out the iPhone supports DuckDuckGo as an official search for safari :o

Enough of this!!! I need a break.
*Gets up partially from chair*
*Looks back at the code, gets an idea*
*Sits down again for couple of hours*

That awkward moment when your Girl needs you not as a friend but as a web dev because of a javascript bug in an online job portal that won't let you send your application because the hidden field auto fill crashes due to exhausted free requests to the Google maps API...

My first interview.

Interviewer looks at my resume, asks me questions about the projects that I had done at that time.

Tells me he hadn't done this much when he was of my age.

Rejected.

I see people complaining about their CS professors quite frequently. Meanwhile, my CS professor stays late and is always willing to help us out with our work. I've been to his office twice this week to get help with assignments, and each time he's glad to help.

Oh and he offers us a soda as we get ready to leave. He has a filing cabinet full of can sodas. 100% my favorite professor I've ever had.

Today I had my first app preview. It went really well, although not all the functionalities worked as expected, the product owner was very pleased!

Perfect start of this week!

Me: *puts small piece of tape over webcam*

NSA: Okay guys, shut it all down. No way we can record from the microphone, log keys, access the file system, USB devices, network data or watch the screen. He did the tape.

Just upgraded my Pi status display from an CharLCD finally to an OLED display. Love the possibilities.

Next time I try to install a server, I should check if the Ethernet cable is not broken.

😐

This is my collection of geeky stickers! Do you like it? :)

Pocket instant sharing on Android "I found a girl for you on Tinder" to your crush on Valentine's day. I hate Android's share drawers.

When you get an impossible deadline

During a meeting with the client

Client: I don't care how long it takes to complete the app, I want the app to be polished and give the users the best experience!
Us: Got it.
*Later that day*
Client: *wants to implement a new feature in the app*
Us: It'll take us a day or two.
Client: That long?! I need to get it to the market ASAP!
Us:.......

:D

Devs: Early birds or night owls?

Me: Definitelly night owl, can not wake up before 10 and sometimes working till morning. I know it is bad for health but I can not help myself. Being much more creative and productive at night.

Clearly not...

That moment when

Doing occasional first & second level support besides my actual job of coding can be fucking annoying and time consuming.
Just let me code in peace and listen to doom metal!

"Blabla our 17 years old plotter does not respond blabla fix it please"
"My computer is so slow, make it faster"

Go die in your filthy office chairs by being pierced through the stinking butthole you ignorant endoplasmatische retikula!

Nailed an interview! But even if you’re so confident you made it.. you still feel uneasy without that offer..

I hate having moments where you realize the bug was caused by a bug in the framework after scratching your head for hours......

[04:00 am] Oh, what a day. I need to sleep...
[04:01 am] *Open devrant

When your question on StackOverflow has more than 5 upvotes and an accepted answer with around 10 upvotes, and then some asshole moderator decides it is a duplicate and deletes it.