(sensitive parts censored)

Friend: Hey, can you hack my (some website) account?
Me: Depends... What's your username?
Friend: (tells username)
Me: (clicks forgot password?)
Friend: I will give $10 if you do it. There is 2 factor authentication enabled.
Me: (silence) Ok.
Website: Please type the class number you were in in 4th grade.
Me: Hey, did you graduated BLAH elementary school?
Friend: Yeah.
Me: Ahh, I remember. You moved to BLAH elementary school in what grade?
Friend: 4
Me: Hmmm, I don't remember seeing you. What class were you in?
Friend: 5
Me: Well, I now remember. Stupid me. (smirks)
Friend: Haha. (continues to play games beside me)
Me: (Types in 8)
Website: We sent you a password to blah@example.com
Me: (uhh, heads to example.com and clicks forget password?)
Email: Please type the class number you were in in 4th grade.
Me: (wtf is this, types 8)
Email: Please type the teacher's name when you were in in 4th grade.
Me: What was the teacher's name?
Friend: Huh?
Me: When you were in 4th grade.
Friend: Ahh! John Smith.
Me: Ahh, he was strict, right?
Friend: Yeah (continues to play games again)
Me: (Types in John Smith)
Email: Set a new password.
Me: (Types "youaresostupid")
Email: Done!
Me: (copies PLAIN TEXT password from email, logs in to website)
Me: Da-da!
Friend: (gasps)
Me: Money plz~
Friend: Nope.
Me: (wtf, then remembers i changed his email password) Fine then.

=====================

1. There is 2 factor authentication enabled. : Got it?
2. The website sent plaintext password.
3. He is just pure idiot.
4. I didn't got the money.
5. I am now a h4x0r

I had a secondary Gmail account with a really nice short nickname (from the early invite/alpha days), forwarded to another of my mailboxes. It had a weak password, leaked as part of one of the many database leaks.

Eventually I noticed some dude in Brazil started using my Gmail, and he changed the password — but I still got a copy of everything he did through the forwarding rule. I caught him bragging to a friend on how he cracked hashes and stole and sold email accounts and user details in bulk.

He used my account as his main email account. Over the years I saw more and more personal details getting through. Eventually I received a mail with a plaintext password... which he also used for a PayPal account, coupled to a Mastercard.

I used a local website to send him a giant expensive bouquet of flowers with a box of chocolates, using his own PayPal and the default shipping address.

I included a card:

"Congratulations on acquiring my Gmail account, even if I'm 7 years late. Thanks for letting me be such an integral part of your life, for letting me know who you are, what you buy, how much you earn, who your family and friends are and where you live. I've surprised your mother with a cruise ticket as you mentioned on Facebook how sorry you were that you forgot her birthday and couldn't buy her a nice present. She seems like a lovely woman. I've also made a $1000 donation in your name to the EFF, to celebrate our distant friendship"

this.post != rant

WISH ME LUCK GUYS! I'LL BE ON A REGIONAL PROGRAMMING COMPETITION TOMORROW AND I'M NOT ROOTING TO WIN. ALL I WANT IS TO SOLVE AT LEAST 1 PROBLEM. THANKS! HAHAHA

!rant

Published my first app to Google Play :D

Console.log() is fine
But Have you tried
Console.table()

Mind = blown

No code on paper and no flipping MS office crap.

It is bothersome that a college degree is more important than demonstrable skills.

"You're so smart! Where'd you go to college?"
"I didn't."

Start changing how young people look at programming. It’s not nerds doing nerdy things, it’s about real people using code to solve real problems. I think once the mindset changes it will get many more people interested.

Someone is mining Bitcoin in town

I don’t need sex because C++ fucks me everyday

Why is there no bytecoin? One bytecoin would be 8 Bitcoin.

Would suck to be a programmer in NK

😂😂😂😂

Very comforting..

😂😂😂

Funny but it kinda bothers me that the resistors aren't capacitors...

When you spend too much time in your car

Client side validation be like:

When you're too tired to do any serious work

Apple offices be like..

Amazon Drive offers the most comprehensive data redundancy known to mankind.

"Your data synced. A LOT."™

User: "What should I do? I'm confused."

My clients be like

The end has begun

Seriously....

So i think the dude showed her his javascript 😂

Beware of the new ATM phishing attack.

1969 vs 2017

Defragmentation

[via https://twitter.com/jeremiahtolbert...]

Another dev on my team just got a new machine. Before he came in today I made two separate USB installers and left him these notes.