Software engineer

Linus rules...

😬😬😬😬

Sometimes I feel frontend development is like ancient magic:

Backend Dev: Oh no, I can't align this DIV properly.
FE Dev: No worries!
* Casts Flexius Boxius on the DIV *
* Div aligns slightly better *
BE Dev: But it's not centered!
FE Dev: No worries!
* Casts Marginis Automaticus! *
* Rolls natural 1 *
* Everything collapses *
* Website is on fire *
* Product owner cries *
FE Dev: No worries!
* Casts Flexius Boxius level 5 on the parent div *
* Everything looks beautiful *
* People are in awe *
FE Dev: You are welcome!
* Adjusts his robe and leaves *

fuckpress.Pi
Yep, thata right. Fuck Wordpress Raspberry Pi. Thanks to my inability to interact with proton mail filtering I just made a script that checks for a new email and if it contains words "wordpress", "help", " hack", "build" and it is not from whitelisted contact, the email is moved to the Fuckpress folder and automatic reply is sent back that I AM NOT FUCKING DOING YOUR GAYPRESS FUCKING SHIT FOR YOUR 5$ CUNT.
rant over

Just too lazy to make website full responsive?? Instead annoying with their apps 🙄

Happened in my country a couple of months ago. And the 'website' was built with wordpress.

Browsing job postings, and some of these requirements are just crazy, and/or wtf. Here's an example:

Front End developer wanted, junior to mid-level. An ideal candidate will be an expert in PHP, C#, and Java. Minimum experience of 10 years. Estimated compensation 30,000 per year.

Entry level full stack developer. Must be an expert in SQL. 5 years experience, BS in computer science required.

Web Developer intern - must have 3 years of experience. Must be an expert in x, y, z. This position is unpaid.

Sheeit.

I WILL!

If I read a plugin description claiming that 777 permissions are required for it to work I swear I am going to fucking punch that idiot "developer" in the face and make sure they never touch a computer again.
If you don't understand the concept of unix system permissions then stay the fuck away from anything related to it and start a carreer at the car wash instead of cluttering the web with your bullshit.

"we're gonna start doing WordPress for a lot more customers, to deliver faster. Not debatable. "

Fuck that shit, I'm off to another employer.

Used Joomla after a long time and I have to say it is still sh*t

We were given a MacBook in the beginning. Yesterday, appreciating my work, my manager gave me a MacMini to make my own server for testing purpose. I joined just two weeks ago. 😃

First day at work.

Dark room, heavy metal music, a big teapot to feed my mate (south american drink), underwear only

Lol lol

I just started working on a little project to browse devrant from terminal. It converts images to ascii art!

Last month we fired our worst client. I just received a friend request from him on Facebook...

When I got my first job, and saw my colleague talking to a duck..

Really getting fed the fuck up with this elitist shit. So what someone else uses something different than you. Grow the fuck up snow flake. You're definitely not God's gift to the coding world. Pretty sure you've made mistakes in your career as well.

This isn't to anyone in particular.. just getting entirely fed up with this bullshit. We're adults, how about we act like them?

!rant

Hi from the 33rd Chaos Communication Congress!

I am the weird coworker

My non-dev friends on Facebook are spamming with "Merry Christmas and Happy New Year". I didn't respond to them, I know am being rude but it's worth it.

Someone just sent me a pic of a my comment that is more than 13 years old 😱 The good old VB6 times! 😍😘

A JavaScript OS!!!

A CMS raping WordPress so hard up the ass till there is no tomorrow. I hate that bastardized piece of fuck. “Hey I want you to fix my page and its wordpress. I pay 20 bucks.“ Well fuck you too sir. Wordpress is no cms you wanna be coders. Get back to your fucking photoshop and design something original! Every fucking wp page looks the same. Every “nice feature“ is some kind of monkeypatched workarround. No problem i set preview pictures for every post just to enable some weird slider to function.

I also love those buttfucked files with just a “require foo“ which also just requires “bar“. Drop that fuck. Implement autoloading. Nobody uses php4 anymore step into the future. “easy to learn“ fuck me and fuck you untill you vomit jizz! Clusterfucked spaghetticode thats easy, easy to put another rotten load of clusterfuck on top. Also those security features. I put an empty index.php to prevent directory traversal. N I C E! Stop using wordpress as CMS, its a blog engine. Nothing great has every been written on top of wordpress and never will. I dare you to deny everything related to it and if you are one of those designer guyd, you can gargle my jizz you fucknut!

Starting 2017 i will start a counter and rape every 10th Wordpress which gets abused as cms i encounter into oblivion on their 0,99$ webhosting shit.

Fuck this I'm so mad about that crap

When you are frustrated but you have to log some stuff to your console.

I have a strong need for this shirt

I'm a bit ashamed for laughing on this 😂😂😅

As a German I approve