I don't always drink water.
But when I do, it's coffee. 😅

Any good recommendation on learning the coding standards and the design principles that are needed to be followed while creating a large banking application?(java lang preferred)

Boss 1: You have such a dedicated team of workers, how do you make them all come in time?
Boss 2: Its simple, 30 employees, 20 parking spaces.

Got this cool af pen drive from the company I an interning at. ✨🤩

Let's make this a cool pen drive thread!

JS developer life

Windows firewall be like.

My mom got audited for storing sensitive client information in her gmail account without using a vpn or any other real security.

I had been telling her this was an issue for literally the last three years and shes brushed me off every time.

I got yelled at for not telling her I was serious.

They lack inventory management

Me: Did Sherry let you know that I'm leaving today?

Coworker: what!? No!

Me: yeah... I'm leaving.

Coworker: huh, I'm not surprised...

Me: what is that supposed to mean!?

Co: shit man, this job sucks, I'm not surprised. I'll be leaving right behind you.

Me: oh.... Um... April Fools... 😬

Co: God damnit.

Me: don't worry, I won't tell the boss how you really feel.

Pro tip: If you are a junior, or senior but new at the company, don't start your conversations with:

"We're doing X wrong. At my previous company we did / at school I learned /in this book I read / according to this talk I watched, the right way to do X is ..."

Instead try:

"I'm curious why were doing X this way. I'm used to doing it differently."

I love flat-hierarchy teams, and people who think about flaws in procedures and proactively try to improve the tools we use are awesome, but the next kid walking up to me yelling we use git flow "wrong" will be smacked in the face with a keyboard.

If you come to me with curiosity and an open mind, I'll explain, and even return the favor by behaving the same way when I'm baffled by your seemingly retarded implementations.

Maybe we can learn from each other, maybe discover that "how I learned it" is sometimes good, sometimes bad.

But let's start with some social skills, not kicking off into every debate with a stretched leg and a red face.

Hyped for Game of Thrones ?

Is this the code life
Another scrum meeting
Caught in the the Node life
No escape from reality
Open your eyes
Look up to the screens and see..
I'm just a dev boy
Doing some debugging
Because there's warnings here
Errors there
Segment faults
Everywhere
Anytime you distract
Takes another hour from me
From me

*piano starts

Mama. Just committed a bug
Merge the branch to production
Did it fast for milestones
Mama. The repo has just begun
But now they going to throw the stack away.
Mama. U u u uu
Didn't mean to code in LAMP
But it's the only stack i know how to setup
In Ubuntu. Without docker
I really don't get vagrant

*piano

It's too late
My team is done
Some dev is working in Nepal
A UX dev. Now what is that?
Goodbye everybody
I've got to go
Gotta leave this lame meeting
And face the truth
Oh nooooo. I i interns
(they have questions)
I want to debug
I don't want to stay till 3 in the morning

*epic guitar

I see a litlle dev over there
Let's code review, let's code review
Did he do the last commit?
Coding in the white board
Very very frightening me
That's bug(that's a bug)
That's a bug (that's a bug)
What the f*ck did you do that?
Magnificcooooooo

I was just coding and nobody liked it
He was coding and nobody liked it, spare his some time to do his debugging

Easy man. Here go. Will you let me code?
A meeting. No,we will not let you code. ( let me code)
A meeting. we will not let you code. ( let me code)
A meeting. we will not let you code. ( let me code)
We will not let you code
Never never let you go
Never let you code, oh
No no no no no no no
Oh mama mia, mama mia ( dude, you've gotta let me code)
Screw you guys, I'm gonna code and commit. Commit. Comiiiiitt!

*epic guitar

So you think you can review me and spit in my eye?
So you think you can dump me and erase my branch?
Oh baby, cant do this to me baby
I've just have to log out.
I've just have to log outta here

*epic guitar solo

Nothing really matters
The users will not care
Nothing really matters
To them

Any way this code blows

I think I just threw up a little reading this.

Exactly

"Is it just me or is Youtube down?"
YES
IT'S JUST YOU
THEY PICKED YOU OUT OF A BILLION USERS
AND TOOK IT DOWN
Sorry, good night.

Client: This new feature is not working on Internet Explorer.
Me: Do you have enough oxygen in the cave you are living in?

Witnessed a guy coding on Word. I need professional help to get out of the trauma.

Are you even a dev if you haven't done this once?

When you create a super-realistic Artificial Intelligence program after just one lecture!

Made my day 😂😂

The real truth.

@dfox I just double tapped a rant to ++ it and then, after I double tapped, I got this:

I am at a loss for words. This JavaScript powers the login of a company's intranet

The intern next to me is currently giving telephonic interview sitting in his cubicle 🙄

When u have to make sure ur users aren't monkeys ..

When interviewing a dev, ask them what they think about time zones. If their answer is "fuck time zones", hire them immediately.

Shakira as a programmer : Heaps don't lie

If you hold up a UNIX shell to you ear, can you hear the C?

Making my Sass variables...

Sassa Grey

I had a very informal interview/information session with a hot girl earlier this week.

Being the #foreveralone type, I'm calling it a date with a hot girl, when I tell my family about it. 😍

We scheduled a follow-up session for next week, which will be even more informal than before. Now it'll be more like a date, and I won't feel so bad telling people she liked me enough to go on a second date. 🙃

What can I say, I take what I can get. 🤗