Opening your editor on Monday morning

Once upon a time there was a shepherd looking after his sheep on the side of a deserted road. Suddenly a brand new Porsche screeches to a halt. The driver, a man dressed in an Armani suit, Cerutti shoes, Ray-Ban sunglasses, TAG-Heuer wrist-watch, and a Versace tie, gets out and asks the Shepherd:

Man: “If I can tell you how many sheep you have, will you give me one of them?”

The shepherd looks at the young man, and then looks at the large flock of grazing sheep and replies:

Shepherd: “Okay.”

The young man parks the car, connects his laptop to the mobile-fax, enters a NASA Webster, scans the ground using his GPS, opens a database and 60 Excel tables filled with logarithms and pivot tables, then prints out a 150 page report on his high-tech mini-printer. He turns to the shepherd and says,

Man: “You have exactly 1,586 sheep here.”

The shepherd cheers,

Shepherd: “That’s correct, you can have your sheep.”

The young man makes his pick and puts it in the back of his Porsche. The shepherd looks at him and asks,

Shepherd: “If I guess your profession, will you return my animal to me?”

The young man answers;

Man: “Yes, why not?”

Shepherd: "You are an IT consultant."

Man: “How did you know?”

Shepherd: “Very simple. First, you came here without being called. Second, you charged me a fee to tell me something I already knew, and third, you don’t understand anything about my business…Now can I have my DOG back?"

I know all the git commands:
- git status
- git add
- git commit
- git push

http://motherfuckingwebsite.com/

Edit: It's not a porn site

when your code is a mess but everything work out in the end

!rant

I made devRant pancakes!
yummy

Well he did the right thing

Conversation with my Boss

B: Are u a hacker?
M: No
B: We need a hacker?
M: Why?
B: Because X department wants to do a hackathon.

Her: I like a man who lives dangerously
Me: I sold a game to my client without debugging it
Her: grab a mop

-Laughed at Gitlab the other day
-Accidentally dropped my db today.

fuck karma

Sent my coworker a LMGTFY link sarcastically, and he legitimately thought it was a great tool for showing people how you search for stuff on the internet.

This same client had never in his 50+ years on this Earth, used a debit or credit card to pay for a meal at a restaurant. Needless to say, we made him use his company card for every meal on the rest of the trip.

He also wears a black trench coat... Everyday.

Finally the solution!

James Gosling will die after reading this...

learning theoretical informatics be like lul lul lul

Thats Elon Musk guys and girls. source: reddit

Hard work

Damn right

Code formatting is important when it's not too long...

YYYY-DD-MM H:i:S

Yay!

Ooo boy :-/

Indeed

My school blocked StackOverflow...

... I'll use Tor then.

I honestly can't say I have done this....

!Rant
The biggest face palm moment in my life..

A girl in my class came up with an app idea. She wanted to make an app using which we can transfer our battery charge using Bluetooth.  We initially thought it was a joke, then she went out to defend herself saying "if we can transfer files why not charge? If you're in an emergency and your battery almost drains out, wouldn't you feel nice if your friend could quickly transfer you 30% charge?"

Liked it, then give me a ++ via Bluetooth...

😂😂😂

When some moron decides to give your free (and ad free) app a 1 star rating because it does exactly what it is supposed to do, but doesn't do what the reviewer wanted it to.

How considerate of these arse holes to ruin an apps reputation because they are moronic.

I really wish that you could file claims for the reviews to be removed for defamation.

Time to repeat Python

When my question gets upvotes on Stack Overflow but none answers it

Frontend vs Backend

The best feeling is writing some software and then random strangers telling you how much they love it. So satisfying.