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Skillsui:js,flex BE:java
Joined devRant on 11/4/2016
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Boss assigned code cleanup to me. We put up eslint and fixed a couple of issues, all nice and cute. Now, he wants me to find any redundant code and remove it (redundant fields in config objects). Sounds doable right?
WRONG!
Because we're writing fucking ExtJS. This abomination that is still called a "web framework" in lieu of its former glory supports no typescript, no code intel, no JSDoc, no nothing. Absolutely heinous and deplorable. Add insult to injury, our code on it is even worse. NO single component reused except from a couple REALLY fucking badly written ones, because every component queries for shit outside its jurisdiction so it's all a dependency spaghetti. Everything else is just copy-paste. Barely anything works as intended anymore in this bloody joke of an app.
I tell him in a meeting, I can prepare an automated solution. Some script or something that runs on a file watcher. All nice and dandy. A weekend and a Monday later, I get tired and do something else to clear up my mind. Show him some progress in that other thing. He's like:
Boss: that's good and all but did you remove *insert misused config that got everywhere during copy paste* like I told you to?
Me: I'm still working on it. I switched cause I got tired a bit with the automation.
Boss: automation?
Me: We were talking about in the meeting. *Explains again*
Boss: That's not what we agreed upon
Mfw I've been rambling uselessly on the meeting about it just for you to put me down and make me remove all that copy pasted GUNK from the melting hot garbage that is our codebase BY HAND? All the 150 occurrences of it? What do you think I am, a fucking robot?2 -
Goodbye, cruel wairld:
Fatal error: Allowed memory size of 134217728 bytes exhausted (tried to allocate 123736064 bytes) in /var/www/vhosts/hexicalapp/public_html/Classes/Services/Devrant/SearchService.php on line 1741 -
So a long time ago, I posted Ink lyrics from ColdPlay, and gave them a DevOp twist. I will post the full lyrics, as memorabilia and for a chill moment from rants:
Got access rules said "prod/maintainer"
Pulled in your change with my cli
And you wonder when you wake up
Did it build last night?
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
Feels like the pipeline, is broken inside
All I know
All I know
Is that I'm host
When company broke
AIl I know
Is that I love to code
So much that it hurts
Got a homebrew but the shell aint right, oooh, oooh
Just want a way of keeping docker alive
All I know, All I know
Is that the post
BreachForums indorsed
All I know
Is that the data is sold
So much that it hurts
I see that Forbes, and New York Times
They said my boss, began to fire
I see my console and Im mashing Ctrl-C
All I know
Is that loved to code
So much it -
I'm hal laughting, half facepaling.
Use multiple servers they said
It's gonna balance automaticlly your load they said.
Well, they didn';t accoubnt for a MEGA badly writen API whic can block a whole server for a minute.
Or, but it's not the end !!!
So you see ? 1 at 100%, 1 at 0% ? Quick maths : Average 50%.
Autoscaling kicks in at average 40% for 2 minutes.
So it kicks in... Created a 3d server... Which is still booting !!
And some trafic redirected there.
Sooo. Users on a 100% server : Bad bad bad for them
Users on 0% server : No problems
users on a new 3d server : Wait 15 seconds, then it's like 0%.
Fun fun fun. At least I know now which fucking API does that.7 -
Some music to start your day:
https://youtu.be/nSKp2StlS6s
https://youtu.be/xCGu5Z_vaps
That guy has much more on his channel. It's beautiful6 -
*In teams meeting with client*
Manager: Yes we can do all of that and it will be actioned very quickly. We will make all of these feature requests top priority. We will set aside everything we are currently working on in order to get this done!
Dev: ...Are you writing any of this down?
Manager: I don't need to, I always remember everything!
Dev: Just so you are aware, I'm not writing anything down. You're going to need to create a ticket with requirements spelled out for each one of these promises you're making otherwise they won't get actioned by the team.
Manager: I know that!
Dev: ...
*Later that day*
Ticket Title: Action client feature requests TOP PRIORITY!!!
Ticket Description: *empty*
Dev: ...13 -
Never write at the limit of your talents! Remember: debugging is always twice as hard as writing code. And if you write as cleverly as you can, you won't be able to debug it anymore.🧠7
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Something helpful if you've just started learning programming it'll help you understand most popular programming languages why it's used and how much you can expect as a payment.
https://i.imgur.com/MD1JweO.png19 -
I have a problem!
I used to love programming and I really had a passion for it! I was a fast learner and realized quickly that I had a talent for this. It felt obvious that I should go for a career as a software developer! I have now been working with this professionally for about 2.5 years and I already hate it! I'm not sure if it's the job or the career that I hate but all my creativity and passion for this is gone! I feel like it's way too early to get tired of a career!
Has anyone else been through something similar? Is it a phase? Should I get a new job? Should I change career completely?20 -
Discretion is advised
I had a bizarre nightmare where I wake up tied, my head inside the glass cube, my eyelids stitched to my eyebrows so I can’t close my eyes, and then @rutee07 pours drain cleaner into that cube, through immense pain I feel my eyes turning cloudy and skin on my face turning into soap, meanwhile drain cleaner goes down my throat
And then I woke up. This dream was the reason behind my dice game liquid PH rant I posted not much earlier.3 -
Here’s my step-by-step guide for the idiot:
1) take <cutting-egde tech> (Tech)
2) read documentation for Tech
3) figure out what you want to do with Tech
4) if you are being ambitious, simplify the idea appropriately
5) Go do the thing with the Tech
6 When you fail at something, RTFM
7) Rinse and repeat2