Pics ? 😃😃😃

😂😂😂😂

Hahahaha

LOL.

In my current company we're being forced to use Windows for web development... I can't use a VM because of the hardware specs.

This is now my screensaver.

;____;

Some empty-headed helpdesk girl skipped into our office yesterday afternoon, despite the big scary warning signs glued to the door.

"Hey, when I log in on my phone, the menu is looking weird"

"Uh... look at my beard"

"What"

"Just look at this beard!"

"Uh.... OK"

"Does this look like a perfectly groomed beard"

"Uh... it's pretty nice I guess"

"You don't have to lie"

She looks puzzled: "OK... maybe it could use a little trimming. Uh... a lot of trimming". "I still like it though" she adds, trying hard to be polite.

"I understand you just started working here. But the beard... the beard should make it clear. See the office opposite to this one?"

"Yeah"

"Perfectly groomed ginger beards. It's all stylish shawls and smiles and spinach smoothies. Those people are known as frontend developers, they care about pixels and menus. Now look at my beard. It is dark and wild, it has some gray stress hairs, and if you take a deep breath it smells like dust and cognac mixed with the tears caused by failed deploys. Nothing personal, but I don't give a fuck what a menu looks like on your phone."

She looked around, and noticed the other 2 tired looking guys with unshaven hobo chins. To her credit, she pointed at the woman in the corner: "What about her, she doesn't seem to have a beard"

Yulia, 1.9m long muscled database admin from Ukraine, lets out a heavy sigh. "I do not know you well enough yet to show you where I grow my unkempt graying hairs... . Now get lost divchyna."

Helpdesk girl leaves the scene.

Joanna, machine learning dev, walks in: "I saw a confused blonde lost in the hallway, did you give her the beard speech?"

"Yeah" -- couldn't hold back a giggle -- "haha now she'll come to you"

Joanna: "No I already took care of it"

"How?"

"She started about some stupid menu, so I just told her to smell my cup". Joanna, functional alcoholic, is holding her 4pm Irish coffee. "I think this living up to our stereotype tactic is working, because the girl laughed and nodded like she understood, and ran off to the design department"

Me: "I do miss shaving though"

New PC, chair and desk...Finally everything is ok with my PC, so here is the final result...

Interviewer : "Do you know SQL ?"
Me : "Yes sir. I know SQL and I prefer NoSQL."
Interviewer : "So you know SQL and you don't want to do it for our company ?? This is arrogant !! "

Extreme..

okay, I promise.

The guy who did android dev before me in the company i work for, didn't get paid for 2 months, so he moved all the project files he worked on to an empty partition and locked the drive with Windows' BitLocker. He didn't give the password until he was fully paid. I kinda respect that guy.

I just noticed my file is named home.less
Poor

When I try to motivate/advice someone and they still go on sad

When you mention in your resume that you are an active contributor to Linux source code.

All the time :'D

So, my mirror.linux.pizza got accepted as a official QubeOS mirror :)

"WiFi is better than Ethernet because the air is bigger so it can hold more internet."

Yes, and horse-drawn carriages are better than cars because they have bigger wheels.

Oh.. So the deadline is tomorrow? How about we schedule a fucking FOUR HOUR meeting to speed things up?

Yeah, fuck you too...

100% Real. And it's not even the worst on the site.

So i saw this on fb today..
Haha

What the f***

That fortune cookie is definity meant for programmers.

my mother brought me a external hard drive.. she asked me can i check what is wrong with it.. i opened it up and i just began to laugh

Python: let me manage those packages for you.

Node: here's the whole post office. You're welcome.

c: Write the packages yourself.

Luarocks: What the fuck is a package

Friend: "How can I check my ip?"
Me: *opens terminal*
Friend: "is this a virus? Please stop"

Me: I’ve been in the web since 2006, of course i know html,css,javascript.
Also me: Google how to center a div.

Hey, have you ever wanted to punch a developer 8611 times before?