Battery consumption in 6 months.
Logic vs Apple.

This is what you get when you fill a consumer electronic company with a shit load of designers and 0 qualified electrical engineer.

There's a special place in my naughty list reserved for those competitions that promise "free swag" as a participation prize...

...then give you a $10 voucher to spend in their store to buy a shirt, before telling you you'll need to pay $50 in international shipping 😡

Be me:
> turns on laptop
> enter funky town password
> presses enter
> expects wallpaper to show

Be windows:
> fuck you mother fucker!
> surprise asshole
> I magically updated on you without warning

That's a unique skill

I came across this purest form of evilness 😂😂😂

What the fuck do you think I entered?

w3schools's idea of dark mode. Only the code blocks have their colours inverted. Why?

Fuckity fuck.

It's weekend.

To all you abusive, micromanaging arseholes… Light a magnesium torch up in your arse and make us smile.

To all you motherfucking dumb cunts who can play 8 hours instead of working, but are unable to cope with the simple task of documentation:

Resign and stay away from civilization as far as you can. Alternative: Self castration and removal from the gene pool

To all the narcisstic workaholics who think everyone must be available everytime... Hop into a meat grinder, it's nice and cozy - I've been told.

It's weekend and I've finished everything. First time in half a year that I can return to a normal weekend schedule.

Dobby is free. And Dobby will stuff a sock so far up your arse that you can lick it clean if you disturb dobby.

:) *happy smile*

Sleep servers, I never thought of that 😂

This made my day!

My wife wouldn't stop asking me to help her with FB. As a joke I told her if she didn't quit, I'd delete it (Tech stuff goes over her head like a 747). Well, she kept on so I opened up the Dev tools. I started by adding just some non sense to one of the divs. She saw it pop up on screen and was like "Wait...you can really do that?" then I highlighted the body tag and hit backspace. The whole thing disappeared, it was great. She legit freaked out for a minute and begged me to fix it. I popped up the console and started typing random things. Created an array with some mumbo-jumbo, a couple of quick, meaningless functions and snuck hitting Ctrl+R in there, refreshing the page. She was so happy that Facebook worked again, that she stopped asking me how to do whatever it was

What can I say 🤷

stackoverflow ❤️

DEAR FRONTEND CLIENTS

STOP ASKING ME TO DO THE GEOMETRICALLY IMPOSSIBLE

YOU PASSED FIRST GRADE YOU SHOULD KNOW HOW SHAPES WORK

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

raspberry pi zero w: 10$

shipping to europe: 50$

Thanks adafruit

No, my family did not support me.
They complained about everything.
From how "Python was demonic" to how "Working with computer wont save you from the coming tribulation"

Growing up in a religious cult sucks.

Jesus fucking christ, entering w3schools.com (don't ask) and I immediately get a cookie consent thing shoved in my face.

WHY?! Please don't tell me it's so I can get the 'best experience' because that's straight out bullshit. I don't need cookies and you fucking name it to get 'the best fucking experience' while looking up again how that one PHP or HTML or CSS or WHAT-THE-FUCK-EVER thing worked.

E-v-e-r-y GODDAMN site has this nowadays, to 'improve my experience' - I block ads anyways so what's the motherfucking point?!

Mother of FUCKING god.

alskdjaioethsdjlkjrfoikmedr

I just fucking despise working on someone else's code and it's filled with errors like "reciever" instead of "receiver" or "mesasge" instead of "message"...

it fucking leads to an astonishing amount of fucking errors just because I know how to write english words AND I'M ITALIAN WTF

Dear mobile apps devs,

No one's gonna hate you if you do not provide a multilingual support. Just, please, stop using Google Translate and force the app's language to the phone system's. It's just dumb

Sincerely,
A non native english speaker

Okay let's do it 😂

So Pubs are open again I Ireland.. went to n that were all booked out.. but after 40min of wandering around I got a single corner in one of them.

Let me tell you one thing. You might pour good pints but NO ONE can serve a pint like an Irish pub. Soooo gooood and creamy.. fuck, i missed this.

The Handover!

That 90 min meeting could be an effin email!

Why moment.js ? Whyyy?

Client waiting for you to fix bug in production

Client : I told you to make a *Responsive* website

Me : I checked in all my devices and they look perfect

Client : Please check for all my devices.

Devices of my client🤐

Some morons these days..

Why does is smell like piss is the serverroom?

Because the admin got locked inside

Coz programmer's happiness comes only after a peak frustration

Nobody :
HRs on LinkedIn : A guy applied to us, he was a serial killer in the past and cooked the victims body and ate them. He was rejected by every company. But I gave him a chance. 4 years later ..he is the highest performing employee and my husband.