I was explaining git and Github to one of my friends during our boring maths class when he asked : "What is the difference between git and Github?". Just then another friend of mine sitting in front turns out and said : "It's like the difference between porn and Pornhub".

PM: By when can you do this?
Me: Monday
PM: Which monday?
Me: Exactly

Pretty accurate I would say

Well... My fist table drop in prod... Cheers 🍻
Fuck.

Well ill leave this here

-Laughed at Gitlab the other day
-Accidentally dropped my db today.

fuck karma

void walks into a cave
doesn't return

My friend said this,

Roses are red,
The screen turned blue,
I'm not a programmer,
What the fuck do I do.

Right now someone at Google is coding something useless for us to laugh at on April Fools.

Check out this superb website that I made..

http://localhost:8080

Most people.
"Dance like no one is looking"

Me.
"Sudo like you have backups"

Does anyone else suddenly lose the ability to type properly as soon as someone is watching/pairing?

My wife: “Commit, then come to bed.”

Worst part of being a dev?
Unanswered stackoverflow question that exactly matches your problem

CS Professor: “What M word is the black hole to all productivity?”

Student: “Management”

CS Professor: “Was going to say meetings but that’s better”

My biggest dev sin is not writing any unit tests for devRant :/

What do you call a party with developers?

A git together

I'm so sorry.

Let's clarify:
* Github is not Git
* Android is not Java
* Unit test is not TDD
* Java is not OOP
* Docker is not Devops
* Jenkins is not CI
* Agile is not institutionalised total chaos
* Developer is not Printer Support

My girlfriend doesn't talk to me anymore after I said I helped the new girl to do some penetration testing.

"Are you familiar with uploading your code to Google Drive?"

I left the building at that exact moment.

What devrant taught me:

Everyone hates java
Everyone hates php
Everyone hates spaces
Everyone hates tabs
Everyone hates vim
Everyone hates windows
Everyone hates linux
Everyone hates clients
Everyone hates PMs
Everyone hates every language they're not working with
Everyone loves devrant 😊

- Knock, knock

- An async function

- Who's there?

Website design philosophies:

Apple: "...and a really big picture there, and a really big picture there, and a really big picture there, and..."

Microsoft: "border-radius:0 !important;"

Google: "EVERYTHING MOVES!!! And most websites get material design. Most."

Amazon: "We're slowly moving away from 2009"

Wix: "How can we further increase load times?"

Literally any download site: "Click here! No, click here! Nononono!! Click here!!..."

Facebook: "We can't change anything because our main age demographic is around 55"

University websites: "That information isn't hard enough to find yet. Decrease the search accuracy and increase broken links."