Trying to read this enum hurts my eyes

Just wondering .....

Current me

Dear all wonderful ranters,

I apologize profusely in advance if over the next few days I cannot contain my anger at people and rant about non-dev things. I promise I will try my best to not do this, but there are very few places (none) other than here where I feel comfortable enough to express myself freely and not censor my words.

I will be working as a security guard (3rd job) for a car show full of pretentious assholes who have a tendency to think I'm their servant. I have wonderful bosses who have my back, and there are truly amazing people in attendance as well, but if someone tries to run me over again after a long ass day, I might need to vent.

I fully accept any and all down votes, and will likely delete the rant after it's out of my system, unless there's a conversation going in comments (I wouldn't do that to you).

Please bear with me while I try boot to strangle everyone I come across. I'm hoping this year is the year everyone is nice, but history tells me that's naive and won't happen.

All my love,
Your (co)queen who may end up arrested for using her bionic arm to rip their balls off and feed them to their wives

When you're so into your project that you feel like peeing is a waste of time...

I know that it is an unpopular opinion but I actually like Java.

Dear coworker: oh my god we aren't in highschool algebra; using "x" as the name of a parameter makes me want to cut you.

When HR thank you for entering company :D

My last internship (it was awesome). A programmer developed a vacation/free day request application for internal use.
Asked if I could test it for security.
The dev working on it thought that was a very good idea as he wasn't much into security and explained how the authentication process worked.
I immediately noticed a flaw just from his explanation. He said it was secure anyways (with an explanation but his way of thinking was wrong in this case). Asked if I was allowed to show him. He said he was intrigued by this so gave me a yes right away.

For the record, user levels were normal user, general admin and super admin (he was the only super admin).

Wrote a quick thingy server side (one of my own servers/domains) for testing purposes.

Then I started.

Went from normal user to super admin (his account) through a combination of XSS and Session Hijacking within 15 seconds.

Explained him where he went wrong and he wrote a patch under my guidance 😃.

That felt so fucking awesome.

There is a spider outside my window at work that I've named Vanessa. She is a web developer. And every time I squash a bug, I feed it to her.

Refactoring with tests is the digital equivalent to popping bubble wrap

AI vs Humans

!rant
Welp, I wanted blue hair in my avatar, but since it's only supported for women's avatars, for some reason, I guess I'm a female now 😋😂💙💁

Today I broke a record 🎉

..in the production database 😅

Guy from work: "I have a messy coding style ¯\_(ツ)_/¯".

No, you have a bad coding style. Your repetitive uncommented spaghetti code isn't an artistic expression of your quick imaginative mind jumping from thought to thought. It's a horrible mess that shows me that either you can't do any better or you don't care.

Is it OK to make chewing noise when eating in the office a meter away from your colleagues?

I have the answer for you my friend:
.
.
.
ABSOLUTELY FUCKING NO.

Seeing OOP classes with more than a 1000 lines of code really pisses me off.

Today I learned how to use curly braces in Python for those coming from C style programming languages. I love that this was the accepted answer.

I've seen several rants on here about poor documentation on great libraries. Well I just spent 9 hours in a car today and I realized that even the ones that have great documentation absolutely SUCK at being mobile friendly. I'm no web developer but how freaking hard is it to optimize your stupid website for small screens??? There are a million frameworks out there you can choose from PLUS it's almost entirely text so it can't be that hard!! I have to zoom in about 300% to be able to read it, then I have to scroll back and forth because it no longer fits on the screen.

Just finished reviewing a 9700+ line PR. Next up: contemplating my life decisions.

Perfect clouding...!!!

Dear people who complain about spending a whole night to find a tiny syntax error; Every time I read one of your rants, I feel like a part of me dies.

As a developer, your job is to create elegant optimized rivers of data, to puzzle with interesting algorithmic problems, to craft beautiful mappings from user input to computer storage and back.

You should strive to write code like a Michelangelo, not like a house painter.

You're arguing about indentation or getting annoyed by a project with braces on the same line as the method name. You're struggling with semicolons, misplaced braces or wrongly spelled keywords.

You're bitching about the medium of your paint, about the hardness of the marble -- when you should be lamenting the absence of your muse or the struggle to capture the essence of elegance in your work.

In other words:

Fix your fucking mindset, and fix your fucking tools. Don't fucking rant about your tabs and spaces. Stop fucking screaming how your bloated swiss-army-knife text editor is soooo much better than a purpose-built IDE, if it fails to draw something red and obnoxious around your fuck ups.

Thanks.

I really appreciate that it's devRant, not dev_rant

🎶"You args the IO Exception,
You args the IO Exception,
You args the IO Exception,
You args the IO Exception"🎶

-The Only exception by Paramore

age++;

What devrant taught me:

Everyone hates java
Everyone hates php
Everyone hates spaces
Everyone hates tabs
Everyone hates vim
Everyone hates windows
Everyone hates gnu+linux
Everyone hates clients
Everyone hates PMs
Everyone hates every language they're not working with
Everyone loves devrant 😀😄😙

Thanks stackoverflow...

Wished sudo exists in real life also.

Me: Leave me alone.
Person: No.
Me: sudo Leave me alone.
Person: Sure.

Fucktards sending me screenshot of their code to debug why the fuck can't you maintain a git repository.

Huehuehue