Drop ur file here to convert it to another file type

10 mins later after conversion

99%

"Sorry but u can't convert ur file cause u got an adblocker enabled pls disable it and try again"

Have u guys ever whipped ur dick out and smacked the monitor with ur dick with hope that ur dick smack will transmit the smack into the website across their face

My son was born 2 days ago. He is amazing. I win at life.

In a nutshell, i severely underestimated myself, applied to a bunch of places and now they all want to hire me. Oh well.

WHOA
My grandpa just gave me 100$ for fixing his TV:

-And here is you paycheck son...
-What? Noo, it was literally 2 minutes factory reset, I don't need this :D
-Oh come on. I'm not paying you because you because you pressed some buttons. I pay you, because you exactly knew which buttons to press. Now, take it!

Truly, the man of honor...

Finally

https://zdnet.com/article/...

But why can't I float:center?!

Just got a call from recruiter. I was asked what amounts of € would make me consider switching. I named an amount that seemed surreal. I think I heard attempts to control chuckling, followed by 'well almost all our clients could offer that much'

shit. I think I'm underpaid...

Remember this....

Best xcode review ever

who is a good speaker ? ...

Me coding last night 😅🍍

I chuckled

Show some respect... 🙌

This is what happens when I'm asked to document something.

Working on a platform with very few users and developers kinda sucks. There is only like 5 forums about this platform and it has less than one than a 1000 threads. Stack overflow has nothing on it so that sucks. I am trying to fix this weird bug and I cannot find anything to fix it. Guess I will call it a feature.

Client...

void walks into a cave
doesn't return

One of the reasons I love Google!

Happy New Year People 😀

Be like Bill !

Uhh... That's cool! Someone hacked the public website for Dublin's tram system...

Now that's me....

HR guy who was telling me that his company is one of the best when he was ofdering me a job, joined different startup after a month.

Doing a great job...

Going to do this the next time I review a frontend PR 😂

I recently met a young fella (14yo) playing League of Legends. He asked:
- What do you do for a living?
- I'm a programmer, do you know anything about programming?
- I don't, actually.

Apparently he was playing from a LAN Gaming center 'cause he didn't have a computer at home (his computer had broken and these Lan centers are pretty affordable).
I figured I could explain to him what was it and what super powers you could get from it. Turns out I recommended a JS course in codecademy and now he goes to the LAN center every day to study programming (he got really into it!).
Now he always pings me with questions about JS and apparently he's learning a ton! He had almost no English skills too (we're Brazilian), and because most of the material in the internet is in English he found himself some free English courses and he's now taking them!

Knowledge is free on the internet and I guess he's just realized that.

Not exactly a rant guys, just figured it was a nice story to tell :)
#TeachAKidHowToCode

Looking for a job as a deveoper be like:

Job title: car driver

Job requirements: professional skills in driving normal- and heavy-freight cars, buses and trucks, trolley buses, trams, subways, tractors, shovel diggers, contemporary light and heavy tanks currently in use by NATO countries.

Skills in rally and extreme driving are obligatory!
Formula-1 driving experience is a plus.

Knowledge and experience in repairing of piston and rotor/Wankel engines, automatic and manual transmissions, ignition systems, board computer, ABS, ABD, GPS and car-audio systems by world-known manufacturers - obligatory!

Experience with car-painting and tinsmith tasks is a plus.

The applicants must have certificates by BMW, General Motors and Bosch, but not older than two years.

Compensation: $15-$20/hour, depends on the interview result.

Education requirements: Bachelor's Degree of Engineering.

I put an Easter egg into a product, that if you enter the string "final countdown" into the stock code search field, it plays a YouTube vid of Europe's "The Final Countdown", in a hidden div. It's an in-joke for a few people in the company.

A well meaning maintainer with no sense of humour or judgement takes over and goes on the warpath against any hardcoded strings. The secret code gets moved into a config file.

A third developer changes the deployment script so that it clears any configs that aren't explicitly set in the deployment settings.

So the secret code is now "".

Literally every PC in the stock buying department is now blaring out "The Final Countdown" at top volume.

...Except none of them have speakers, so it remains this way for over a year and two more changes of maintainer.

I just noticed this afternoon and quietly re-hardcoded the string. The buying dept.'s PCs will silently sing no more.

Built my first App - the BOFH returns

So I started to learn programming about 7 weeks ago, learned some Java, immersed myself in git and then via a friend got introduced to android studio. To get some practice I decided to code my own app, and what better way than to create a quote generator for the funny and creative error messages as seen in The Bastard Operator from Hell. Now I wrote the thing, started adding a feature and before I know it, it works and I'm contacting the original author, if I may publish it to the playstore.
Io and behold: Merely 32 hours after the idea had sparked, in an act of spontaneous madness I've pubished my first app.
This was an absolutely electrifying experience and a huge feeling of success to me, to see my own creation on my homescreen.
Sorry for annoying you with this antirant, but I just had to get this out!

Btw here's the link if anyone is interested:
https://play.google.com/store/apps/...

Constructive critisism is appreciated!

It's ":x" I think. Lol.