Details
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Aboutdev lul there was a version number of myself here, but I have decided to become rolling release.
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SkillsI can bash my head at a keyboard and have working code appear on my screen.
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LocationVienna, Austria
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Website
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Github
Joined devRant on 9/11/2016
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I’m debugging some intermittently failing specs.
The problem is, they only fail when RUNNING THE ENTIRE FUCKING FILE, which, naturally, takes TEN FUCKING YEARS.
And it’s not like they fail when they get run first. No. They only fail when run near the end.
ASDFHSGSKSHDHDKAJDKF17 -
I just got an email from work to fix a website that is down. A website of another company.
I just don’t understand how peoples brains work?1 -
Damn, how have I only just discovered localstack?
The ability to spin up and use SQS queues, S3 buckets, lambdas, Kinesis streams etc. for development without worrying about bankrupting myself if I screw something up is really quite liberating.4 -
Today, for fun, I wrote prime number generation upto 1000 using pure single MySQL query.
No already created tables, no procedures, no variables. Just pure SQL using derived tables.
So does this mean that pure SQL statements do not have the halting problem?
Putting an EXPLAIN over the query I could see how MySQL guessed that the total number of calculations would be 1000*1000 even before executing the query in itself and this is amazing ♥️
I have attached a screenshot of the query and if you are curious, I have also left below the plain text.
PS this was a SQL problem in Hackerrank.
MySQL query:
select group_concat(primeNumber SEPARATOR '&') from
(select numberTable.number as primeNumber from
(select cast((concat(tens, units, hundreds)+1) as UNSIGNED) as number from
(select 0 as units union select 1 union select 2 union select 3 union select 4 union select 5 union select 6 union select 7 union select 8 union select 9) unitsTable,
(select 0 as tens union select 1 union select 2 union select 3 union select 4 union select 5 union select 6 union select 7 union select 8 union select 9) tensTable,
(select 0 as hundreds union select 1 union select 2 union select 3 union select 4 union select 5 union select 6 union select 7 union select 8 union select 9) hundredsTable order by number) numberTable
inner join
(select cast((concat(tens, units, hundreds)+1) as UNSIGNED) as divisor from
(select 0 as units union select 1 union select 2 union select 3 union select 4 union select 5 union select 6 union select 7 union select 8 union select 9) unitsTable,
(select 0 as tens union select 1 union select 2 union select 3 union select 4 union select 5 union select 6 union select 7 union select 8 union select 9) tensTable,
(select 0 as hundreds union select 1 union select 2 union select 3 union select 4 union select 5 union select 6 union select 7 union select 8 union select 9) hundredsTable order by divisor) divisorTable
on (divisorTable.divisor<=numberTable.number and divisorTable.divisor!=1)
where numberTable.number%divisorTable.divisor=0
group by numberTable.number having count(*)<=1 order by numberTable.number) resultTable;9 -
Hello again, everyone. As Sunday comes to a close, and Monday is fast approaching, I'll share with you the likely cause of my death by stroke and/or heart attack:
MONDAY MORNING COFFEE OF HORROR
Disclaimer: Do NOT try this. I am a professional addict. I am not responsible for anything this brew from hell causes to you and/or those around you.
So, I wake up, feeling like I haven't slept for days, or just notice the fucking alarm clock shrieking because I pulled an all-nighter.
Step 1: Silence alarm clock via mild violence.
Step 2: Get the coffee machine to brew some filter coffee (espresso works too)
Step 3: Get milk and ice cubes from the fridge (both are needed, I don't care if you don't like milk, trust me)
Step 4: Get 2 spoonfuls (not tea spoon, and actually FULL spoonfuls) into the biggest glass you have
Step 5: Pour just a little of the warm filter coffee into the glass, just to get the instant coffee wet enough, and start mixing, until the result looks like the horror you unleashed in your toilet a few minutes ago (and will do so again in a few)
Step 6: Mix in 25-50 ml milk, just for the aesthetic change of colour of the devil-brew, and to add the necessary amount of lactic acid to react with the coffee to produce chemical X
Step 7: Add ice cubes to taste (if you are new to this, add a lot)
Step 8. Slowly add the filter coffee while mixing furiously, so that the light brown paste at the bottom get dissolved (it's harder than it sounds)
Now, take a deep breath. Before you is a disgusting brew undergoing a chemical reaction, and your moves need to be precise otherwise it will explode. Note that sugar or any other form of sweetener is FORBIDDEN, as it will block the reaction chain and the result won't be as potent.
Take a straw (a big one, not those needle-like ones that some cafeterias give to fool you into believing that the coffee is more than 150ml). Put it inside the mix, and check that the route to the bathroom is free of obstacles.
Now, clench your abs, close your nose if you are new to this, grab the straw and DRINK!
DRINK LIKE THERE IS NO TOMORROW!
THAT BROWN DEVIL'S BILE WILL HAVE YOUR INTESTINES SPASM AND DANCE THE MACARENA WHILE TWIRLING A HULA HOOP!
YOUR HEART WILL GO OVERDRIVE HARDER THAN YOUR PC'S CPU WHEN COMPILING ON ECLIPSE AND BROWSING WITH IE AT THE SAME TIME.
The combination of caffeine and lactic acid will bring out the perfectly disgusting combination of sour and bitter usually expected in rotting lemons. After you manage to chug it down (DON'T SPILL OR SPIT ANY!) you have 30 - 60 seconds max to run to the porcelain throne, where you will spend the next 30-60 minutes.
After that, nothing can stop you! You will fix bugs, write entire codebases from scratch, punch that annoying coworker, punch that boss! You will be a demigod among mortals for the next 6-8 hours!
Your recipes for Monday morning coffee?15 -
Today from 9am till now 1am (picture this time in your head) i was getting cumganged✌️ by amazon
Trynna setup aws s3 bucket
And cloudfront
I died at least 17 times in the process
I cant anymore5 -
Mixing lazy loading with event-based code == events won't be handled because the class won't subscribe to events until it's initialized hours after startup
Thank you, my dear lazy-loading lover, who keeps introducing hard-to-spot bugs everywhere. I wish your hand was as lazy as your code, that would have saved hours of debugging time. -
I left for lunch early to drive five miles away to an abandoned parking lot so that I could cry about an email I received... this week has been fantastic.10
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There's this insurance chain in the US that says its goal is to save America $500 million, so for their ads they ask a bunch of kids what they'd do with $500 million. What they neglect to mention...14
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Quitting today my current job, my boss (a dev too) got mad 'cause I didn't accept any proposal and he has a lot of work coming for me.
PD: I feel bad, but I think is part of growing, right?2 -
https://stilldrinking.org/programmi...
you guys should read this article.
Based on the writing style I wouldn't be surprised if someone on devrant was the author8 -
Made a list of all my friends in Java.
then I run:
list.get(0);
I get: Index out of bound exception.
What is the problem, send help10 -
I am impressed Youtube made this year’s Rewind worse than the last year, it got to the point were people started removing their dislikes from Justin Bieber’s Baby and it went from 10 to 8 million dislikes so that Youtube Rewind 2018 ends up being the most disliked Youtube video in history in just few days with more than 10 millions.. lol7
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So basically there's this guy, that work with us that relocated from a small village south of Italy to the city where we have the HQ.
So after a while this guy has found a girlfriend here and after few days we discovered that he never had sex in his life. you may ask, how did you discover it? Yes, basically he disappeared for a week, his phone was off, no slack, no Facebook, nothing. We couldn't contact him in any way. After a week he gave a call to our cto saying sorry about what happened and explaining that he spent the whole week having sex with his girl, day and night. This story has also a good end because he still has his job.26 -
Hopefully we will leave the path of shipping tons of crappy software in increasingly shorter periods of time and come back to thought out, well engineered software that actually matters. I would love that.1
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1. Humans perform best if they have ownership over a slice of responsibility. Find roles and positions within the company which give you energy. Being "just another intern/junior" is unacceptable, you must strive to be head of photography, chief of data security, master of updating packages, whatever makes you want to jump out of bed in the morning. Management has only one metric to perform on, only one right to exist: Coaching people to find their optimal role. Productivity and growth will inevitably emerge if you do what you love. — Boss at current company
2. Don't jump to the newest technology just because it's popular or shiny. Don't cling to old technology just because it's proven. — Team lead at the Arianespace contractor I worked for.
4. "Developing a product you wouldn't like to use as an end user, is unsustainable. You can try to convince yourself and others that cancer is great for weight loss, but you're still gonna die if you don't try to cure it. You can keep ignoring the disease here to fill your wallet for a while, but it's worse for your health than smoking a pack of cigs a day." — my team supervisor, heavy smoker, and possibly the only sane person at Microsoft.
5. Never trust documentation, never trust comments, never trust untested code, never trust tests, never trust commit messages, never trust bug reports, never trust numbered lists or graphs without clearly labeled axes. You never know what is missing from them, what was redacted away. — Coworker at current company.9 -
!rant
The Sound of Typing (an original dev parody of "The Sound of Silence")
Hello caffeine, my old friend
I've come to sip on you again
Because my mind continues sleeping
While overpiled work is creeping
And the deadline that is flashing upon my screen
Can't be unseen
Within the sound of typing
Down the lines of buggy code
I quickly switch to debug mode
What kind of moron wrote this function?
For this unnecessary junction?
Wrapped in a condition that will always return true
I need a brew
To forget the sound of typing
Boss said I you do not know
WordPress like a cancer grows
A one page website doesn't need that
Still I wear my debug hard hat
And when I sleep I still see the same terror
Fatal error
Echoed in the sounds of typing
And every time I leave my home
I must launch chrome on my phone
The constant messages and phone calls
The chiming echoes through the halls
While I frantically fix some FooBar'd CSS
BUT I don't have LESS
Deep in the sounds of typing
And when I think I have it done
Some scope creep ruins all my fun
So now I force through an all-nighter
While I forge on like a fighter
But the project I thought was due on next Friday
Changed to Monday
Within the sound of typing9