Teaching my family to code and delegating my tasks while working "remotely".

Source:- Reddit

Code Reuse

Italian chef: We have the best spaghetti in the world
PHP developer: I doubt that

Me: I mend shoes

So adopting this price list. Like right now.

@donnico saw your rant about that "perfect code" and remembered of this 😀

> *walking to school*
> *headphones on, music on*
> Kid wants to ask me something
> *takes off headphones*
"You're good with custom ROMs right?"
"Uuuh... Well, perhaps"
"Is it possible to install Windows on a Samsung tablet?"
> NO YOU DENSE MOTHERFUCKER
"No"
> *puts headphones back on*

Q: How long did the loop take?

A: For a while

original dev-related memes with a cause are great

When you don’t hit all the job description check boxes

Don't try this at home 😋

User interface: 5/10
User experience: 10/10

Code comments be like....

Not learning version control sooner

5 years in wordpress

Client: We have a HUGE security problem.

Me: *thinks about any possible vulnerabilities* What is it?

Client: A user can take a picture of our website and steal our content.

I’m done for today.

the world of smileys is just outrageous 😋

Dev1: I started work at a new company.

Dev2: Cool, how is it?

Dev1: Well its ok... but they are a bit weird.

Dev2: How weird.

Dev1: Very weird, they round my pay to 1000 insted of 1024.

Dev2: Yeah weird.

Fuck you Nvidia

When you fucked up, but everything is working.

Credits to my son.

Our programming teacher had a surgery on his left eye and will not be able to do the lessons with us. Guess what the subject of the email he sent us was.

"I can't C#."
He made a pun about his fucking health status, alright then.

Boss: “Our YouTube channel doesn’t look at all like our website.”

Me: “I’ve made it look as close to our branding as YouTube allows for with its limited editing controls.”

Boss: “This is unacceptable. I expected more from you.”

Me: “I cannot accept the blame for this. YouTube is setting the design parameters for all channels and I can only do so much.”

Boss: “You can call the YouTube, can’t you? Why didn’t you call them?”

Me: “.......and ask them....what?”

Boss: “You don’t ask! You tell! Our company has been around for 140 years. Our brand name carries that weight. They’ll change their design to what we need if you’re assertive enough.”

Me: “Ma’am, that’s just not how this works. That’s not how any of this works.”

Any under 18 developers here? If yes, what language do you use to code, and where do you plan to go?

Thank you makers

*client calls*
"hello, we forgot the password to our WiFi router. Could you reset that for us?"

😐😶😮😅

"We host websites and servers sir, we don't control your router :)"

"Right, i thought so, nevermind!"

Well, that's a new one O.o

Thank you @dfox

Glad I could help with the .com domain!

Senior dev : * doesn't use git *
Me: you seriously should use git...
Senior dev: * still doesn't use git *
Senior dev: * overwrites production files with old files from other computer *
Senior dev: * talks to boss *
Boss: * gets angry at me *

What a weird age we live in!!!
We need to prove machines that we are not machines...
#captcha

Someone on the IP 127.0.0.1 has been creating a lot of bugs in my code, please beware of you notice any connections from that address.