Made my day 😂😂

"Please disable AdBlock to view the content."

No. I'll just leave. Bye.

Them: Why are you asking me? I didn't write it.

Me: git blame says otherwise

Headphones on = I'm in a flow. Leave me the fuck alone.

When non devs tell you how long a project will take 🙃

Post your work area, fuckers.

In code, we Trust...

We work in dark to serve the light...

We are developers...

The devRant app just crashed after writing a 4000+ character rant on my fucking phone.

Fuck me.

OneDrive:
Login -> Password/Account is wrong
Forgot Password -> Account does not exist
Registration -> There is already an account with this email adress
Well, Fuck you

This guy has hacked everything.

Teacher: Linux is build on Java
Am I dumb or what?

"Professor, my if loop isn't working!"
IF LOOP!?!?!?!! 😫🔫

Just saw someone at school with a devRant sticker on his laptop 😃

try {
❤
} catch(e) {
🍺
}

My classmates are such hypocrites. They pretend to be programmers, but they can't fool me.

"Oh sorry. I can't show you the result of my html code. I have to compile it first, but there's no WiFi."

There's so many things wrong with that.

Girl: "hey"

My Brain:
java.lang.NullPointerException:
at net.brain.functions.Talk.retrieveSpeech(Talk.java:2978)
at net.brain.functions.Talk.createFlirtyResponse(Talk.java:3132)

Me: null

*Girl walks away*

🎶 He's making a list
He's testing it twice
SELECT * FROM users WHERE behavior="nice"
SQL-clause is coming
To town. 🎶

Changed my repo name to titanic.

Now it's syncing...
Syncing...
Syncing...
Syncing....

Recipe for Ice Coffee:
1: Make Coffee
2: Start coding
3: Forget you made Coffee
4: Drink it cold

Nothing is more permanent than a temporary fix.

Bf: what you doing?
Me: coding
Bf: do you ever stop working?!
Me: I'm not 'working', I'm doing my own project.
Bf: but you do that at work. Why do you want to keep doing it?
Me: it's fun?

--- a few days later ---

Bf: what you doing?
Me: reading.
Bf: omg you're not coding! What are you reading?
Me: a book about coding
Bf: *faceplam*

What do you call a party with developers?

A git together

I'm so sorry.

My friend said this,

Roses are red,
The screen turned blue,
I'm not a programmer,
What the fuck do I do.

Right now someone at Google is coding something useless for us to laugh at on April Fools.

"Whenever I see a door that says push I pull first to prevent conflicts"

"my app is so awesome you don't even have to close it, it crashes itself automatically. "

My girlfriend doesn't talk to me anymore after I said I helped the new girl to do some penetration testing.

*Me and my GF who works for CIA*

Me: Send nudes
GF: Whose do you want ?

"Are you familiar with uploading your code to Google Drive?"

I left the building at that exact moment.

I recently met a young fella (14yo) playing League of Legends. He asked:
- What do you do for a living?
- I'm a programmer, do you know anything about programming?
- I don't, actually.

Apparently he was playing from a LAN Gaming center 'cause he didn't have a computer at home (his computer had broken and these Lan centers are pretty affordable).
I figured I could explain to him what was it and what super powers you could get from it. Turns out I recommended a JS course in codecademy and now he goes to the LAN center every day to study programming (he got really into it!).
Now he always pings me with questions about JS and apparently he's learning a ton! He had almost no English skills too (we're Brazilian), and because most of the material in the internet is in English he found himself some free English courses and he's now taking them!

Knowledge is free on the internet and I guess he's just realized that.

Not exactly a rant guys, just figured it was a nice story to tell :)
#TeachAKidHowToCode