“You will never be good enough.”
I say to the scented wax warmer as I leave the bathroom.

Be like John..

Cat.js meme

Dammm true

This is so me

Credit imgur.

Things that seem "simple" but end up taking a long ass time to actually deploy into production:

1. Using a new payment processor:

"It's just a simple API, I'll be done in 2 hours"

LOL sure it is, but testing orders and setting up a sandbox or making sure you have credentials right, and then switching from test to life and retesting, and then... fuck

2. Making changes to admin stats.

"'I just have to add this column and remove that one... maybe like a couple of hours"

YOU WISH

3. Anything Javascript

"Hah, what, that's like a button, np"

125 minutes later...

console.log('before foo');
console.log(this.foo)
etc..

Git blame

Our(n)

Make software that people use with a smile

The world according to devrant.

Lol, prob repost but funny anyway.

Machine Learning

😥😥😥😥

Boss: I saw your last commit, great work!
Dev: But... You told me to delete all the features I added...
Boss: Yes, fantastic improvements!

Roses are (255,0,0)
Violets are (0,0,255)
And I do sure hope,
This packet reaches you

How programmers comment their code

what a relief 😂

- Knock, knock

- An async function

- Who's there?

*at work* (fictional names)

Kevin (linux support engineer): Bob, could you come for a second to take a look at something?
Bob (senior linux engineer): *tiny voice from a corner behind a desk* bob is not available right now. Please try again later.
Kevin: Bob, please, just for a second!
Bob: bob is not available right now, please try again later.
Kevin: Boooooooooooooob, come heeeeereeeee
Bob: as said before, bob is not available right now, try again later.
Kevin: but booooooob, come oooooon.
Bob: it seems that you might have a hearing problem since bob is still not available.
Kevin: but booooohooooob, come heeeeeeeeeeereee
Bob: it seems like the person on the other side of this line might be retarded. Bob is not available right now.
Kevin: But boooohooooohooooooob come oooohooohooon, just for a seeehehecond *starts fake sobbing"
Bob: Bob is getting real tired of your shit. Leave bob alone.

😆

Le JavaScript~

They hate to see it.

Last month: Opening devrant
Facebook, Mark Zuckerberg, FUCK FACEBOOK, ZUCKED ME, KILL MARKBOOK, ATTACK FACEBERG

Last week: Opening devrant
GDRP, GDRP, GGEEDDEERRPPPEEEEE, FUCK GDRP, YEEEY GDRP, WHY GDRP, UPDATED OUR GDRP, FUCKED MY GDRP, PEED IN MY GDRP

this week: Opening devrant
Microsoft, Github, NO Microshit, Burn Github, FUCK GITHUB, POO ON MY MICROHUB, VOMITED ON MY GITSOFT

next week:????
(Google, you better be ready, it's your turn)

Laughed more than I like to admit

"We are looking for a GDPR expert to be hired in our company"

"I am an experienced data protection manager"

"Oh, fine! May you give us your phone number?"

"No"

"Your email address?"

"No"

"You're hired"

Securiy = infinity

MS buys Github?

GitHub Starter
GitHub for Students
GitHub Home Basic
GitHub Home Premium
GitHub Professional
GitHub Enterprise
GitHub Business
GitHub Ultimate
GitHub 2018 R2
...

The truth, whole truth, and nothing but there truth.

Lean into the skid and go do something else. If i have a deadline buy a pint of crown, roll a blunt, and get back to work

If you hold a Unix shell up to your ear you can hear the C.