My mate bought me a peach stressball that smells like peaches every time you squeeze. It has now become my coding companion.

Absolutely any pair of shoes I wear thrashes up in month or two. It doesn’t depend on either I treat it or not or on shoes quality and materials.

It can’t be just me!

Help
I just drank 10 cups of coffee

So I was driving work today and an cyclist ran into my car on a equal intersection. Luckily nothing has happened to him, but car is kinda unusable.

Yeah, it was a good day.

Hello world.

A couple years ago my now ex-colleagues pranked the lead dev for being nitpicky about the importance of the story post-it wall in the agile process.
His desk was like this the next morning.
Needless to say, he was pissed and we had a good laugh :D

My team: "Hey were getting errors with this process, whats going on?"

Net team: "Hey were getting errors with this process, whats going on?"

Me *looks at logs once*: "Did you guys check the logs? There's a 500 error on the Net side app since 3am this morning..."

Net team: "Oh yeah we changed that but we forgot it would break your shit"

Goddammit why am i not on the alertlist if you are all going to call me when shit breaks?! Doesnt make any sense!!

Me trying to be positive every fucking day

If you see OpenCart coming to you, RUN!!!!

So I went to the store earlier today and an autistic young lad gave me one of the best pieces of advice anyone has EVER given me.

“Don’t let the haters stare into your eyes 👀”.

It took me a few hours for it to sink in and I now understood what he meant.

I feel better, enlightened, much more in control since I heard that young lad tell me those wise words of wisdom.

This is all I need, is a good beer and code! 😁

I need 10 points to change my avatar. Wanna help.

What do you guys think about Bitcoin? And the future of blockchain in general?🤔

If you were forced to not use an electronic device for programming purposes ever again, what would your job be?

For example, I'd study medicine and try to become a surgeon.

Why in the goddamn fucking world do I not fucking commit the fucking code every time there is a motherfucking major change

Y0L0...

I’m gonna invent scrumban.

My experience with SCRUM:

Everytime some say:
Lets try scrum.. couple weeks later dropping it.

Just use Jira instead, and meetings once a week.

I Never have seem (Official) Scrum working in a team for a long period.

My first contribution to a GitHub project was finally merged to the master branch today! It was just a bug fix but it’s a start!!

My team lead is off this week and I was selected to be the "acting team lead". So far I have attended 73648283 meetings. Please pray for me!

Am I the only one here that hates mandatory 40 hour a week pair programming?

Motherfucker I'm back.

Just contributed a feature I've long wanted to an online game I play sometimes.
Feels good. :)

How to deal with micromanagment?
I just lose it when the team leader checks on issues on a hourly base, And dont get me started on the scrum master who checks the sprint status twice a day.

I can't quit this work but I'm losing mind here.
H-O-W T-H-E F-U-C-K do i deal with this idiotism??

Today after 1 year of taking shit I sat down with my manager and completely tore the whole fucking company apart.

I absolutely slammed my colleagues, obliterated my team lead, went on and on about how no one understands the basics and how everything we have is copy paste procedural code and the only way to fix what we have is to delete it. I then insinuated I want to quit because I cba with the struggle anymore.

Result? Fat promotion. Not sure what just happened here lmao.

Coworker wrote a nice package and put it on Github, to share with other departments.

I link his package on our company Slack, mentioning a team, with text "What do you think of this one? Is it usable for you guys?"

Next thing I know I have to explain to an executive why I'm "posting pictures of seductive cartoon girls in company chat with disrespectful commentary"

It linked the Github profile picture of the developer in Slack. A fully clothed anime girl, nothing particularly lewd about it.

But I like stabbing back a bit, and confusing the fuck out of people in suits:

"Hate to say it, but a good majority of all the code the company runs on, is written by people known as weebs, who use their so called waifus as their GitHub profile picture. It is very common for open source Javascript packages, but since we recruited 50 extra devs it now also happens internally. It's not my thing either sir, but I'm afraid we have to embrace it... "

"But what about our female devs? What about Joanna, she's in your team? We have to think of diversity! Our investors are really in to diversity, we can't have a bro culture!"

"Sir, with all due respect, we have super diverse teams without even trying. The problem is... they're all millennials. They grew up on weird memes... and are probably ten steps further in embracing diversity compared to the rest of the company."

"Also, Joanna is the one who drew this particular picture. She's charging a €15 commission for profile pictures... Do you want one of your fursona, sir?"

"What is that?"

"Uh... nevermind. Let's... let's not go there"

Last day at my current job

Publishing stuff and receiving feedback and improvement ideas is sush a great feeling. A guy opend an issue today asking for a feature to be implemented and he was very polite. Thanking me for my work.

This is way better than money. Money can't buy that feeling. People like this guy is the reason open source stuff lives.

When I did games dev in college, it’s fair to say that most of my class started off really stupid. Like, I met these people. We were all dumb.

Except this one guy. His name was Jordan. He was huge. He smelled bad. Everyone made fun of him, (I kept my distance in fear of being decimated because he was known for his temper).

But fuck, that guy knew how to model and code. In the time we had spent working out how to build a single model or write a working line of code, he’d been working on this full scale Skyrim-esque environment that just reminded me of Whiterun.

I wonder what he’s doing now.

Sometimes the challenge of the day is to stay professional.

Having a professional attitude. even when everything is going to hell.