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Made a website that can make images like this
Basically you just keep splitting the rectangle and color them
It’s very mobile unfriendly though
Need feedback on what you need, also this is an offline version and I’m planning to make it so that you can do it with your friend, just need to watch more YouTube videos on p2p now17
I couldn’t think of a quote to do, so decided to do a function instead. Duff’s device! (You know, in case you ever wanted a scenario where fall through in a switch makes sense)15
Biggest dev insecurity?
It’s not secure at all, never feeling very confident when browsing that protocol.5
I want Gordon Ramsey to start a IT program in the same fashion as Hotel Hell and Kitchen Nightmares
He'll sit at a desk with a laptop, examining code as if he's eating food, venting frustrations and screaming insults out loud
Then he'll have a talk with the team and see how they work on a day
After that he'll go into the freezer (server room) and scream at mold and cockroaches
Then comes the intervention where we discover that the PM is still grieving about the death of his original programming language and the team loves him but thinks he should move on
The next day the development studio is modernised and has a candy bar, tennis table and everyone is forced to use linux on their new macbooks
Then we experience a good day where everything is great and velocity is through the roof
Then Gordon leaves and everything is shit again17
Cocktail Development #1 - Codename: Devjito
Hello fellow developers! I was enjoing some sweet selfmade cocktails lately. One of the commentators shouted out for me to "don't stop the cocktail rants!".
But, because I didn't wanted to just "Post random cocktails", I tried to develope my own cocktails. Afterwards I will share my experiences while creating these with you, and of course, the recipe!
So first we got my Experiment: Devjito - A Cocktail for all of you fellow programmers!
What we need:
- 4cl Tequila
- 4cl Wodka
- 4cl Dry Gin
- 4cl White Rum
- 2cl "Grenadine" Syrup
- 2 teaspoons of white sugar
- 8cl of Orangejuice
- Mintleaves(?dunno if right? Me German don't hate)
- Orange for decorational purposes
First get a tall glass, pour the sugar in it, wash the mint and stick it in there.
Get your favourite cocktail shaker, pour all the liquor in it (the Tequile, Wodka, Gin and Rum) + the orangejuice and icecubes. Shake 20 seconds and dance while shaking, also don't forget to try out eating your devRant Stressball (Leave note in comments who gets this reference).
After shaking pure the "semi cocktail" into the glass with the mint and sugar. Get your masher (I guess this is the right word?) and mash your mintleaves with the sugar and the cocktail. Afterwards, fill the glass mostly up with sodawater.
Now the trickey part: to make it look cool, get your Barspoon and the Grenadine Syrup. Stick the spoon in the glass and let syrup slowly flow in the cocktail, this will make the "red shine" shown in the image attached to this rant.
Finally, stick an orange slice on the glass and enjoy!
My Impression: It's a bit stronger than a normal Tequila Sunrise, but better for the people which don't like sour or "liquor only cocktails".
Thanks to @cafecortado and @CoffeeNcode but also the other commentators!
(An image of the ingredients will be attached as comment)
EDIT: @oudalally mentioned it correctly JES it tastes very sweet!8
Steps to writing more readable and cleaner code:
1) write shitty code that gets the job done
2) take a screenshot of set code
3) post it on devRant and blame it on a coworker
4) someone will reply with a clean solution within a couple hours
5) copy and paste that solution then push to repo11
Movie idea: a plane in mid air catches the wannacrypt virus and refuses manual control. The plane flies straight forward but they only have 2h until they're out of fuel and crash. The only way to pay the ransom is to get enough bitcoins but a recent price-fluctuation made the amount of bitcoins to pay way too high. The only way to resolve this is to create a tumoil on social media causing the bitcoin price to go down.
Visit your local cinema this summer to see 200 passengers and a group of devrant-guest-starrings use nothing but their brains, geniuety and arsenal of devices. Will they find the guy that blocks the wifi by watching 4k porn? Will alice and alexdelarge have to resort to building a fuel-powered mining-rig? Or will linux and linuxxx compile an open-source cockpit program before they run out of time? If so, will they even be able to decide on a linux distro to install on the cockpit?
Coming out in <% new Date().getFullYear() + 1 %>22
Buzzword dictionary to deal with annoying clients:
Dark web—Onion service
Data science—statistics done by nonstatisticians
Well, it happened. The stupidest request, no demand, I have ever, and most likely will ever receive...
Me: So what is it you're looking to do with your website.
Client: We're not showing up Facebook's home page. We need you to fix that. We have a budget of $10,000 to make this happen right now.
Me: As much as I'd love to take your money, that isn't something I can control. Every "home page" is profile-based, which technically isn't a homepage, but a "feed" that changes constantly. So say you create a profile on Facebook, only those you follow, and paid posts show up on your feed. What I can do however is use your budget to create and promote posts from your company page to show on users' feeds. If you're serious about marketing, we can start slow at $250/week, then work our way up or down based on results until your budget is exhausted, then re-evaluate the budget at that time. I can tailor a retainer for you based on the number of ads per week that you'd like to make.
Client: No, this is not what we're asking for at all.
Me: Okay...what is it you're looking for exactly? Run through this in as much detail as possible so I can get on the same page.
Client: We want to be on the main home page of facebook.com. We want our logo on that page when people sign up to make an account, linking to our website.
Me: That's simply not possible. That's Facebook's own home page. Nobody has a right to edit that other than Facebook itself.
Client: Bullshit. There's a Facebook developers section with APIs to edit and view Facebook's entire website. We would do it ourselves, but we signed up and don't understand how to change it in Chrome. That's why we need you and [referring client] said you were the best guy for our needs.
Me: That API has no control over Facebook's corporate data, including their own home page. That API designed ONLY for sections in which you are authorized to access or modify, such as your personal profile or created page for your business.
Client: We know that it can be done. If you don't do it, we'll find someone else who can.
Me: Well good luck with that, because the only way it would be remotely possible to do that WILL involve prison time, since that would be illegal. The only legal way to do it would be to buy Facebook, and they'll laugh you out of the building with that offer. But I'm done with this conversation because I have work to complete from clients that aren't delusional. Have a nice day! [hang up]
What. The. Fuck.24
Incompetent doesn't even start to describe this one:
1. Uses Google drive instead of an online repository for code sharing
2. Uses multiple files instead of version control
3. Preferred variable names like a, a1, b, temp
4. Didn't like "wasting" space. The result was unreadable unindented code
5. Would rather use deprecated HTML tags rather than proper CSS styling
He was more like the personification of bad coding practices8
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Assembler Chicken: First, it builds the road ......
C Chicken: It crosses the road without looking both ways.
C++ Chicken: The chicken wouldn't have to cross the road, you' d simply refer to him on the other side.
COBOL Chicken: 0001-CHICKEN-CROSSING.
THEN PERFORM 0010-CROSS-THE-ROAD
VARYING STEPS FROM 1 BY 1 UNTIL
GO TO 0001-CHICKEN-CROSSING
Cray Chicken: Crosses faster than any other chicken, but if you don't dip it in liquid nitrogen first, it arrives on the other side frazzled.
Delphi Chicken: The chicken is dragged across the road and dropped on the other side.
Gopher Chicken: Tried to run but got beaten by the Web chicken.
Intel Pentium Chicken: The chicken crossed 4.9999978 times.
Iomega Chicken: The chicken should have ' backed up' before crossing.
Java Chicken: If your road needs to be crossed by a chicken, then the server will download one to the other side. (Of course, those are chicklets.) See also WMI Monitor.
Linux Chicken: Don't you *dare* try to cross the road the same way we do!
Mac Chicken: No reasonable chicken owner would want a chicken to cross the road, so there's no way to tell it how to cross the road.
Newton Chicken: Can't cluck, can't fly, and can't lay eggs, but you can carry it across the road in your pocket.
OOP Chicken: It doesn't need to cross the road, it just sends a message.
OS/2 Chicken: It crossed the road in style years ago, but it was so quiet that nobody noticed.
Microsoft's Chicken: It's already on both sides of the road. What's more its just bought the road.
Windows 95 Chicken: You see different coloured feathers while it crosses, but when you cook it still tastes like........ chicken.
Quantum Logic Chicken: The chicken is distributed probabilistically on all sides of the road until you observe it on the side of your choice.
VB Chicken: USHighways! <TheRoad.cross> (aChicken)
XP Chicken Jumps out onto the road, turns right, and just keeps on running.
The Longhorn Chicken had an identity crisis and is now calling itself Vista.
The Vista Chicken dazzled itself with its own graphics.20
Clicking "forgot my password" and getting a mail with my password in clear text. Sending a mail and asking why they don't care about security. The answer I'm getting is "it's a feature, makes things easier". Yeah...3
HTTP return codes cheat sheet :
1** : Hold on
2** : Here you go
3** : Go away
4** : You fucked up
5** : I fucked up5
I laughed at how in the movies hacking is portrayed as some person clicking a lot buttons really quickly in a very flashy UI. There's a picture of America and sometimes there's a 3d model rotating for no good reason or a bunch of random numbers floating across the screen. They use random hacking related terms like: backdoor, DDoS...etc in their sentences.
At least they did their research...15