My stressball went on vacation

I was so into devrant that I took the wrong train....

In an alternative universe...

OK, YouTube, I'll wait :)

My job is pretty close to ideal.

-manager is technical/proficient
-hardly any meetings
-I'm trusted to design solutions to problems
-I'm trusted to implement those solutions
-Discretionary time off
-Decent pay
-We make cool technology

Do nothing. Get paid.

Creating porn websites.

I'm a simple man

My life is code and code is my life.

Today I had to write a unit test to test a method that internally used a random number generator...

Aha
Ahaha
Ahahaha
My test was literally just assertNotNull...

I also finally get to do it😂

Now this randomly generated avatar is just unfortunate...

@dfox
Feature request for favouriting a comment.

Some comments are really helpful/awesome.

Meanwhile, someone had a plan.

I'm busted... 🐎💨

Me if i was a game dev

What did I do wrong ?

Math teacher: 1+1=?
Me: one zero
Math teacher: wrong!
So i gived to her my calculator (in binary mode :-) )
Me: check the answer.
Math teacher: [saw 1+1=10 on calc] thinks about 10 seconds LOL then says: you calculator is broken!

When you move ssh to a different port

(found: https://twitter.com/GonzoHacker/...)

Boss: Are you almost done with that project?
Me: *closing Google search of "dogs in top hats"* I need more time

we fell in love because both of us prefer tabs over spaces

The truth has been spoken...

That feeling...

Just ordered my rubber duck. It'll be here in 2 to 3 business days...

Why is it that whenever somebody looks over my shoulder at my screen when I'm programming, I mentally degrade to a 6 year old and can barely type???

Microsoft tech summit... Doesn't need a comment

Summing up many ridiculous meetings I've been in.

Many years ago we hired someone for HR that came from a large fortune 500 company, really big deal at the time.

Over the next 6 months, she scheduled weekly to bi-weekly, 1 to 2 hour meetings with *everyone* throughout the day. Meeting topics included 'How to better yourself', 'Trust the winner inside you'...you get the idea.

One 2-hour meeting involved taking a personality test. Her big plan was to force everyone to take the test, and weed out anyone who didn't fit the 'company culture'. Whatever that meant.

Knowing the game being played, several of us answered in the most introverted, border-line sociopath, 'leave me the frack alone!' way we could.

When she got the test results back, she called an 'emergency' meeting with all the devs and the VP of IS, deeply concerned about our fit in the company.

HR: "These tests results were very disturbing, but don't worry, none of you are being fired today. Together, we can work as team to bring you up to our standards. Any questions before we begin?"
Me: "Not a question, just a comment about the ABC personality test you used."
<she was a bit shocked I knew the name of the test because it was anonymized on the site and written portion>
Me: "That test was discredited 5 years ago and a few company's sued because the test could be used to discriminate against a certain demographic. It is still used in psychology, but along with other personality tests. The test is not a one-size-fits-all."

VP, in the front row, looked back at me, then at her.
HR: "Well....um...uh...um...We're not using the test that way. No one is getting fired."
DevA: "Then why are we here?"
DevB:"What was the point of the test? I don't understand?"
HR: "No, no...you don't understand...that wasn't the point at all, I'm sorry, this is getting blown out of proportion."
VP: "What is getting blown out of proportion? Now I'm confused. I think we all need some cooling off. Guys, head back to the office and let me figure out the next course of action."

She was fired about two weeks later. Any/all documentation relating to the tests were deleted from the server.

It blows.

But not much.

You devranters feed your cats too much

Big day today.
Three hours ago, we welcomed our new daughter to this world