Does anyone else share the love for lenovo laptopd when it comes to coding? Price, specs and sexy keyboard :o

Why didn't I comment my code?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

I've traveled all the way from Chile to Ecuador to ask requirements for an already won project, just to find out it was already taken by a local company.

Manager told me the new girl's first pull request was waiting for my review, I felt dirty.

I started a coffee company already. ☕️

https://nerdroast.com

"Let's do some pair programming! It will be fun!"

... Fuck no.

Either I start coding and you open a beer, or the other way around. And sure, I do not mind doing each other's code reviews. I respect your feedback.

But I can't look over your shoulder while you misspell keywords. When I write code, I search, try, debug and play at a high speed.

I'm an impressionist/surrealist writing messy passionate functions, breaking lots of things with broad paintbrush strokes before finishing it into detailed perfection. I remember all the places in the code I need to work on, and cover everything with tests.

You're a baroque coder, sometimes even a hyperrealist, with your two-finger 10 wpm typing, writing code strictly line-by-line, decorating every statement with the right checks & typehints in advance. You can not keep two functions in your head at the same time. You write tests reluctantly, but you hate that I barely plan. You plan everything, including your pee breaks.

As a coworker I respect you.

But there is no bigger hell than pair programming with you.

I started in school and i thought it would be enough. My father convinced me to look into php and i inhaled it. Now, 12 years later, I am a self employed web dev and I teach web development. Thanks dad!

This is the Best explanation I have ever received. Go on now, share this to the noobs!

And also the only witness 😂😂

Interviewer asked "Write SOMETHING on the board"

I wrote "Something"

"The only way to make the deadline - the only way to go fast - is to keep the code as clean as possible at all times."
Uncle Bob

Spread the word.

Hello, just a quick picture from the hackathon I'm attending as team devRant!

Memes during team meeting

This happen to me once when I was a young kid walking home from school.

There were two other guys with me, older than me. They were talking to each other about programming languages. I have been programming from a very young age so I knew a lot about programming and I knew a few languages back then, but they were taking about Java, a language which I wasn't into yet back then, so I just listened for a while to what they had to say.

The first guy told the other, "You know I'm great at Java." The other guy responded "I can do anything in Java." Then I said as a joke "Oh, can you do hello world?". The guy said "Hello what? What do you mean?" The other guy said. "Is that a retro game?" I just laughed. Then I told them to go learn how to output text in Java.

A bit of current history about these guys:
The first now works in C# for a quiz test company, he never learned Java or languages other than C#. The second one owns and works at a scrapyard. They are both great guys, but they like to brag.

Data Structures...

When I am sitting in my school and writing a few lines of simple HTML code, people looks at my screen and more less shouting out loud "wow you are like a hacker or something? Who are you hacking and how do you do it and how did you learn it?". It happened a couple of times to me. Sometimes I just tell them it as it is and saying something like "it's simple HTML code" and a little explanation of what it is. Sometimes (depending who it is) I answer that it is a new kind of spyware I'm developing and if I'm lucky they believe in me and starts begging me for not hurting their computers.

Just a few lines of <script> and some code highlighting. How to become a hacker!

Sorry guys.

I work in the MOST NONSENSE COMPANY. PERIOD.

!rant
Saw many people share their setups, so here's mine right now.

What's your favourite animal on O'reilly book covers?

Gangsta lorem ipsum

http://lorizzle.nl/?feed=1

Happy April fool's day Zara :)