What's up with guys and girls using the 'def' word? It's like they're speaking Python.

guy: "sup babe. Wanna grab coffee later?"
girl: "def baby"

Other Dev left just as we hit beta and refactored all his code without documentation... Not even fucking comments...

My girlfriend is on phone, now over 3 hours complaining something about her friend, she doesn't suspect she is talking to my Google Assistant. Looks like my Google Assistant is doing pretty good.

"Mm-hmm."

Another episode in the search of a job and it involves recruiters again

Last week tuesday:

> d69: 'Hi this is derpina69 from someFancyShmancyCompany, we got a position for you that might be interesting for you, here is the job description, would you be willing to meet us?'

> Me: 'Well it seems interesting enough, how about we set up a videocall meeting since this is a informative meeting, once ypur end customer is interested in my profile, i am willing to come over'

> d69: 'sure, i'll get back to you to alert attendees for this meeting, i'll get right on it'

Days go by without any word nor even an ical...

Two days ago:

> me: ' hello, pinging you again for a sitrep on the meeting, would like to hear from you and your attendees, wkr: neatnerdprime'

Nothing, until today.

> d69: 'hi sorry for the late reply, we really would like you to come ovzr because we don't like videocalls, are you available on these dates?'

MOTHERFUCKING SHITFACED CALF, YOU REALLY NEEDED TO HAVE MORE THEN A WEEK TO FIGURE THAT OUT, GODDAMN EVEN A TODDLER CAN BE QUICKER IN A RESPONSE ON WHAT HE OR SHE WOULD LIKE!

> me: ' sure, lets pick this date, hope you hace coffee ready'

> d69: 'we don't serve coffee for first meetings'

Mfw.webm

What the actual fuck!?!?
You're going to be classified down to my shit tier opportunities, and you better buy some goddamn coffee. All-dieties-be-damned!

Your mama's so fat she can't save files bigger than 4GB

Pi Project

It's pinging Google and measuring the response time every three seconds, then graphs the result on the LED SenseHat. It's graphing wifi stability.

when you have more knowledge in JS than your teacher

nvm she got fired anyways

"History is never made by those who use incognito browser"

~ William Shakespeare.

My girlfriend always acts a bit weird and when I ask her (for fun) which drugs she takes she always answers "pixie-dust" (reference to her main in LoL: Lulu).

So we made an online shop for pixie-dust..
german: http://bambusource.de/feenstaub
english: http://bambusource.de/pixiedust

++ if you survived viewing this page without sunglasses

My old phone is not useless anymore.

Daily fortune;
You never know how many friends you have until you rent a house on the beach.

new formula for life...

Wrote a setup.sh file with 4 lines. Added bash to my CV

Real life programmer

I came early today to the office

Found the office locked

Need fingerprint of Project Manager/CTO

With my mouth saying ah.. i blew hot air into the finger print sensor, 5 to 6 times

There u go.office door opened with welcome message

just hacked the system

Genius me