I'd love to watch a movie where a hacker is trying to infiltrate a system and instead of getting in after 15 seconds they spend the entire feature film swearing at the monitor and smashing their head on the keyboard.

Finished learning the basics of HTML. Now to move onto CSS! Really enjoy learning Web Development despite it only being the basics.

When a bug became feature!!

Microsoft tech summit... Doesn't need a comment

I'd become a gardner:
Different sandbox but still fighting bugs.

!nonRant
First few days as a professional software engineer (c# .net) have gone decent. Made my first bigger commit today started working on a small new feature that requires more work.
CoWorkers are really nice, boss is cool, super chill over all. #feelsgood

I was SO EXCITED with my 10th ++, 'cause avatar. But... no heels :'(

Roses are red,
violets are blue;
If I were a query,
I'd SELECT * FROM you;

!rant
We just offered two other women jobs at where I work....
Half the department is going to be female!!
:)
.... Shoot how do you talk to girls again it's been so long

You know you are a senior developer when you go to stackoverflow with only goal to answer questions.

So they were having trouble with the server always being slow and maxed to 100%, so the boss told me when wait times were hitting 5+mins due to server trying to catch up, he complained at me, said if I could get the wait time to 30sec to instant he would raise my pay to 90k a year, then walked away after I agreed, I was quite serious but I don't think he thought I was, so I decided to look over the system, IDK who but they put all the calculations and processing server-side for the CA's on floor then sent the completed view to the CA, so I spent months recreating the entire system except the server only pulled the data needed then the new client would do all the processing on their computer since they weren't doing anything anyways, I did a practice run today as its one of our peak days, wait times went to barely 5secs or "instant" according to CA's, I walked into the office, slapped that hourly report down after just two hours and showed the massive increase in employees production times.

That look on his face...
That look on my face...
That look on my next check...

Bliss

If I got a dollar for every bug I fixed, I'd have NaN by now.

nephew: what's the meaning of word "Enterprise", particularly in computing context?

me: No worries about that. Once You endup in enterprise You will know

nephew: How do I know?

me: when bug in your software prevent at least 250 people from doing their job, congratz, You are in Enterprise! And You will know that instantaneously, trust me :)

Hey DevRant Community :)
I've been a silence lurker till now, but I really do enjoy scrolling through your new rants everyday, :D ... I'm now quite terrified of my first job interview, but that's alright... I guess... ._.
What I'm trying to say is.... Have a great day everyone :3

My process (still going on):
*Pick a topic/language/anything.
*Read up as much as I can until my eyes start glazing over.
*Try to implement something.
*Screw up.
*Feel bad. Repeat until screw-ups reasonably reduced.
*Success???

Where's the post?

You know you've been developing for a long time when you don't just write code but also wear it haha

HTTP response code cheat sheet
(From /r/Programmer humor)

I wanted a personal website when I was 15. My brother-in-law sat me down, showed me Dreamweaver and told me "Learn this stuff. It will be valuable when you're older." I dragged and dropped and then looked at the resulting code. Then came sites for friends. Finally, college. I still learn new stuff all the time with each project. I couldn't be happier!