I Quit,
Finally I quit.

This feels good after the countless red flags I raised to management and wishful thinking that this time things will be different. For the past year!

This time I lost the optimistic approach and got myself a couple of interviews, thinking, I'm in this for the long haul, could be 6 months could be a year, evantually I will succeed. and what do you know? It works, I can still pass those.

Then I set down with myself and thought, should I come to managment before signing the contract? Giving another chance for a real change? The answer was a resounding Hell No!

So, yea, if you are in a tough position. Don't give up, think long term, and who knows that "long term" might just be a month.

Company email sent around last night that 'for security' we need to use the latest software, fine. But we are also told only to develop in Edge as it's the newest and most secure browser, therefore is the only one we can use. There no way I'm using Edge to develop.

Fuck you, Mr Consultant, you've taken the company for a ride.

devRant_swear_count++;

Reset 65 passwords today already, a new personal best for one day! No idea why the reset password button is so hard for clients to use, aghh!

"A client wants to buy 'the source', can we give him the source but not the code. We don't want him copying."

So many new developers I know complain about not having the latest gadgets to learn to code. What I loved about learning to code was all you really need is something like Notepad and a few ideas, it's amazing how far you can go!

"Can our app work from 8am to 9pm, Monday to Friday?"
"Yes but it's an app, it can run 24 hours a day, 7 days a week."
"Oh... Is it possible to make it work only from 8am to 9pm Monday to Friday? They're our opening times and we want everything consistent!"

Slippery slope, a very slippery slope...

"We want to change the scrollbar colour." -Client

Oh no, no no no; we sorted this years ago. Nobody should have that power.

"A developer? What, like a landscape gardener?"

No idea to this day what they meant, but it's always stuck with me!

First thing this morning I heard my boss had taken some PSDs to a client today. I thought it was a bit weird because he doesn't have a laptop. Midday I got a call to say all my PSDs were corrupted:

"I'm with the client now. We're very unhappy, we can't get your files to open."
"Oh, right. They should be fine. What version of Photoshop are you using?"
"The latest."
"Okay, what's the error?"
"There isn't one."
"Okay, so it's freezing?"
"No, we can't see the files at all."
"Which laptop are you using?"
"The Nexus."
"The what?"
"That tablet thing."

So after about 20 minutes we figured out he's copied the PSDs and a shortcut to Photoshop on to a USB stick. Then plugged the USB into a USB to micro USB cable and stuck that in an Android Nexus. Expecting to open Photoshop.exe and the PSDs.

I don't mind people being confused with technology but when it's your own boss, who doesn't even bother to let you know anything, then phones up and tells you off you just want to strangle him.

For some reason, Google really, really, really wants to know peoples' phone numbers.

Of course, they say it is "only to protect us even more". But if the Twitter phone number misuse incident tells us anything, Google could change their mind at any time.

Around 2012, Google started begging people for their phone numbers upon login, but did not lock users out yet: https://groovypost.com/unplugged/... .

At some point, likely in the late 2010s, Google started locking people out of their accounts until they disclose their phone numbers. This is very unethical. Twitter already did it earlier (around 2016). Many countries' governments outlawed burner phones and people need to disclose their identity to acquire a phone number, as often under the pretext of "fighting terrorism". Surely not for mass-surveillance, am I right? ( https://comparitech.com/blog/... )

Since a few years, Google demands a phone verification for every newly created account. Honestly, that is still better than holding peoples' existing accounts hostage until they disclose a phone number, since locking people out of their accounts a while after creation causes them to lose access to their data.

Of course, people should store any data they do not wish to lose locally. Online services are not personal archives.

My company just acquired another company from some losers.
Gotta load their pittance database onto our thing.
Their entire "Technology Department" is one old fart.
One even older fart runs their accounting.
I asked the IT boomer for their accounting data.
He tells me to get the head accountant.
The head accountant says they do not have any historical accounting data.
I threaten to call the (equivalent of the) IRS on them.
They give up, admit that they do have some historical data. But they attempt to pull a "malicious compliance" on me, send me a pallet full of old receipts, on paper.

I do what I have done one hundred times before, I go to the closest community college (equivalent) and ask/bribe a teacher to offer the most trustworthy kids some pretty pennies to scan all those files for me.
A dozen of them barely took a week to do it using their not-so-bad camera phones.
It all for about the same price as a couple of older-but-still-good iPhones.
Then it's on to some simple OCR and data normalization tasks.

This morning I had another meeting with the losers, the first since I told them their "data" had just arrived in the mail (but a couple weeks after that). They log in for the meeting all smug, thinking we would ask for more time to load their data, and it would be my team's fault for any delays.
Then the regional business evaluator logs in and said he reviewed their financials yesterday and we have a lot to talk about.
I will remember their "just got punched in the gut" faces forever :)

When putting my kids to bed today I said: "See you next year!" The looks I got were priceless.

But wait, there's more. Tomorrow I get to get to say, "I haven't seen you since last year!"

It took 8 months, but my code finally broke production!

Happy new year, and those last of us running truly static websites: change your footer year!

It today's team meeting my manager asked, "What is GitHub?"

Seven years leading the group. Hired with no dev knowledge. Can't be bothered to acquire any.

Love the topic, and I have multiple.

We were designing a frontend for a new application and we were using University lingo for the text placeholders. I forgot to remove one section in which the text stated "You are looking to enroll in the University of Deez Nuts", on another section I left "Click here cuh". Our manager at the time liked the design so much, but forgot to check for spelling or texts and as such sent the demo to our entire department. Everyone saw it, and while they all found it funny it could have seriously gone wrong. Thankfully our department VP had a pretty good sense of humor.....dude also knew exactly who it was from the start.

On another application, a director, who is a friend, asked for multiple items on a request form, during testing, I added text in Spanish (I am in Texas, but Spanish is pretty well known and spoken in the state) saying "Que bien chinga <Name of the Director>" which roughly translates to "<Name of the Director> is being annoyong" (but in a very Mexican spanish way)
I neglected to consider that the dude was probably viewing the admin board and checking the items as they were being added to the system and he called me not even 3 minutes later saying "You know I can see what you add right??"

All in all, I was pretty lucky because in any other places I would have been severely reprimanded :P

There are many more, but these came at the top of my head as the better ones.

Xmas party, held at an external location. After some drinks, a co-worker whom I was friends with started flirting up one of the waitresses. Now, he was tall, well-trained, and quite attractive for women. It was just that he also was married and had a child.

I quietly sought out that waitress and told her about that, asking her to turn him down because nothing good would come out of that. She appreciated it and stayed out of his way.

Felt kind of back-stabbing him, but at the same time, also saving his ass from himself.

Hey everyone - I will be doing some routine database maintenance a little later tonight. There might be some short periods of downtime but I will try to keep them to a minimum. Sorry for the inconvenience and thanks!

Conversation I just heard

Manager: How's everyone doing?

Dev: I'm actually really tired. I've been having trouble concentrating and reading. I think I need a vacation.

Manager: Oh but that's good. You see, the brain is like a muscle. Today you lift 30kg, tomorrow you lift 40kg. So you will be able to handle more and more stress as you progress. That's great.

Dev: ...

a 🤡 can dream, can't he?

Muahahahahaha!

I was shitting for so long that my legs became numb. These companies and rejections have filled me up so much with bullshit that i cant shit enough of it out of my asshole quickly enough

"You don't have to implement all that functionality, just X" - proceeds to describe how X entirely depends on *all that functionality*

Filthy casuals...

Down a non-technical rabbit hole yesterday:
- watch a cat bury his poop during smoke break
- google "why do cats bury their poop"
- click a link to the Felidae family
- get interested in the differences between puma's, cheetahs and tigers
- read up on the whole genealogy in detail
- spend an hour looking up the endangered status of Felidae
- close work laptop

"Nuff for today"

- the first time I have to touch a GO codebase
- it's the day GH goes down

come on, what's happening here! First dR, now GH? Tomorrow what - SO's turn?

When working from home, don't attend meetings from ur balcony.

The desire to jump off may kick in.

me, to an HR: look at my GitHub, it has amazing projects!
my projects:

Wow what an eloquent detailed explanation. Thank you for clarifying what the problem is. Now i know exactly what i have to do. You F U C K I N G TRASH LOWEST PILE OD GARBAGE OF HUMAN WASTE CORPORATION HOW ARE YOU NOT FUCKINGGGGGGGG BANKRUPT YOU FUCKING CANCEROUS SHITHOLE FUCKING ASSLICKERS FKKKKKINGGGGG GAYPAL FUCKKKKK YOU MOTHERFUCKERS I HOPE YOUR FAMILIES DIE IN CAR CRASHES WHOEVER IS RUNNING GAYPAL

MY FUCKING MONEY IS STUCK IN THIS FUCKING PILE OF TRASH HOLE CALLED GAYPAL AND I CANT FUCKING GET IT OUT. ITS JUST A MATTER OF TIME UNTIL GAYPAL BLOCKS MY ACCOUNT FOR NO FUCKING REASON AND STEALS MY MONEY, LEGALLY????!!!!!!!!!!! AND AGAIN

I'm so tired yo... I'm on 2 startups, one is mine the other some dude I'm working with. Both sites built in PHP. Another side gig slack bot thing in Node JS. And then 2 day time jobs in which I'm deciding which one to quit out of... 🫠😵💀