Dear coworker, please stop using the fucking reply all button to just send a winky face to everyone on the mailing list. I am almost to the point of just filtering all your mail to the trash because you hardly send anything relevant anyway.

i need this rn

Too many so made a meme

My new colegue at work was tasked with getting familiar with some Java code that had security vulnerability. He complained about slow build time for the first hour and then I stopped paying attention. At the end of day I checked on him and was like wtf how are you still trying to build this.
Turns out he ran Gradle task bootRun and watched logs of working app for 8 hours because he thought that's build xD

Save all the troubles 😄

#Weird incidents with a designer

This girl texted me a picture of her newly painted dark-greyish nails

Her: what do you think is this color?

Me: #222222

Easy-peasy

I find listening to Korn, Slipknot etc super loud is actually relaxing when I'm stressed at work.

I am DONE with this woman.

Background: we're a team of 3 developers and I'm the junior in this team and I've been in this shit for a year now. 2 months ago the team leader left for another project and I had to stand in for him in every responsibility against the PM and other teams.

Now I not only had to endure this insecure woman but I was also supposed to work with her! Fast-forward to today, the team leader is back and I thought I could put my headphones on and work peacefully at last.

But no!

I've found out she's sent a faulty code to production - no big deal - and said that over chat (although she's sitting right behind me):

Me: We need to fix this.
Her: What?

Me: *giving some details about the issue*
Her: Your attitude is important when you ask me to do something. Whenever you're writing to me you're typing on your keyboard like you're going to break it on my head.

*me not knowing what to say at this point because we had something stupid like this before*

Me: So you're offended by the sound my keyboard makes? (I have mx brown switches by the way and they're not even loud)
Her: No you're typing too fast when you're writing to me. The sound echoes in the office.
...

Can you fucking believe this shit? I hate people that think they can educate me but have no idea how to rationally respond to situations and take responsibility! I didn't even say anything!

And she's been saying to me she hadn't had a problem with any other people for gazillion years who knows how long and why would she cause a problem now! And thinks I am the problem, fuck YOU!

Since you don't like receiving orders why hadn't you taken the place when the fucking guy went for another project but I had to take all the responsibility? I know why you fucking entitled bitch.

Because you HAD NO IDEA AND YOU STILL DON'T.

So shut the fuck up and do as I say.

Kind regards

My sense of working on a single project in a nutshell

When someone, after explaining it for 10 FUCKING TIMES, still doesn't get that WE ARE NOT HOSTING HIS MOTHERFUCKING SERVER SO WE CAN'T FIX HIS FATHERFUCKING COCKSUCKING EMAIL ISSUES.

FUCKING HELL.

// Stolen from twitter

This may be very stupid but god damn that's commitment!

I've not coded for quite some time but when people ask me to tell a story about my depression I write a code.

Deployment on friday...

*laughs in Mozilla*

My boss can't differentiate between a raise and arrays

I personally hate those words 😑😚😎

28% of people working in IT hide their job from friends and family in order not to get asked about free support.

Employer bans StackOverflow and Github but still wants me to develop stuff. Planning to quit.

Thanks algo for making my day (or rather, sleepless night)