It's all about brain

When valgrind (C Memory allocation error detection tool) aborts due to a memory allocation error...

Not mine, found this on Reddit, still a good read
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I work in IT as a lead developer, as in I run the department. One of my team leads is female, let's call her Ripley. She is young, smart, and a great dev.

Today she met with a new customer to discuss a big project. Project management sent a male project manager (Hicks).

It started perfectly with Customer asking Ripley for coffee. He's informed about her status and mutters something like an apology. He is visibly unhappy.

He then proceeds to ask Hicks technical questions despite having been told that Ripley will answer all the technical stuff. Ripley tries to answer questions. Customer ignores Ripley and continues talking to Hicks.

Hicks tells him politely that Ripley is the one to talk to, since he is not a dev and unable to help him. Ripley tries again to explain stuff.

Customer gets angry and demands another developer, since Ripley is "obviously far too young for a project of this complexity". Ripley rolls her eyes and leaves. Not the first time this happens.

Hicks smoothes the waves and tells the customer that the senior lead developer will personally answer all his questions. Customer is satisfied.

I walk in and calmly introduce myself.

The customer - now far less satisfied - was forced to discuss all his questions with yours truly, the 47 year old female IT nerd. I was very professional, friendly, and businesslike, he was visibly uncomfortable and irritated by the situation.

It's petty and stupid, but man, it felt great watching his face fall when I entered. I've been in Ripley's shoes far too often and today I heard 23 old me cheering me on.

Ripley loved it as well. She made sure to smile extra brightly at customer when she walked past the meeting room on her way to the coffee machine.
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https://reddit.com/r/...

The guard at our school thinks I'm hacking

My parents thinks I'm hacking

My teacher thinks I'm hacking

But all I did was only build Redis from source...

Bruh

Big Brother is listening🤔

So the time has come in our office to choose our voIP prefix.

I may have received the best email ever all these years (and a year as a Lead).

A client acted as a boss telling me to "work this weekend to finish the project a little earlier"

Enjoying my cereal so far..

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Let's asume I wan't to use software X. I notice software X is open source.

How do I validate that said software doesn't do shady stuff?

Is there some kind of platform which lists the audits of each software or alerts the internet if shady stuff happens?

I know about alternativeTo.net, where you can find software alternatives with licencing filters. (Which is great btw) but I'm missing proper validation of open source software...

M̨̭̳̼̙͔̦͕͓̣̤̣̿̑̽͂͋̏ͩͬ͑̓ͪ̋̉̌̚̚͟͜͜͞ë̸̲̤͇̩͉̙̮̤͕̟̼̮̤͈̭́̑̾͐̆ͨ͢ê͊̍ͩ̈́ͪͬ͡͏̵͔͖̪̪͕̯̰̫͘e̼̖͚̗ͫ̍̓̄̄̈́͌̾͊ͩͨͣ̆̉͗͆͒ͦ̉͝͡ę̷̧̺̜͉̲͕͇̟̼̯̝͉͎̥̩͉͖̘̀̊̈ͬͦ̒͌ͧ̐̒ͪ͝͝ͅė͈̠͚̱͔̰̲̹͎͍̲̜̱̦͚̥̰̞ͭ̋̈́ͧͫ̕͟͜͝͡ͅȩ̗̹͔̣̪̲̰̝̩͇̺̻͚̜̯͛̓́͗̽̂ͯ̄̏̓ͩ̊͆̈̋ͮ͂̀̃͟͢ͅe̵̷̥̖̹̥͋̐́̍̆͊́́́͛̌ͫ̋̊̉̉̕͢e̸̶̫̯̰͔͎͍̦̟̤̲̯͂ͦ̋ͪ̉ͭ̑͛͑ͥ́̓̎́͡ȟ̸͔̮̹̤̪͚̦̬͉͙̹̼͙̼̣͍ͧͮ͑ͫ̔̓̃̽̓́̀

A must-read 😂

This rant has been written from the Signal messaging app and uses a custom Signal 'gateway' (a registered user which is a server in this case) with a PHP api behind it. If this rant appears on devRant, it fucking works!

Rate my WiFi setup.. 😅
Thanks to Ajio.. ✌️
This is what happened why your roommate's are trying to be creative..

Some empty-headed helpdesk girl skipped into our office yesterday afternoon, despite the big scary warning signs glued to the door.

"Hey, when I log in on my phone, the menu is looking weird"

"Uh... look at my beard"

"What"

"Just look at this beard!"

"Uh.... OK"

"Does this look like a perfectly groomed beard"

"Uh... it's pretty nice I guess"

"You don't have to lie"

She looks puzzled: "OK... maybe it could use a little trimming. Uh... a lot of trimming". "I still like it though" she adds, trying hard to be polite.

"I understand you just started working here. But the beard... the beard should make it clear. See the office opposite to this one?"

"Yeah"

"Perfectly groomed ginger beards. It's all stylish shawls and smiles and spinach smoothies. Those people are known as frontend developers, they care about pixels and menus. Now look at my beard. It is dark and wild, it has some gray stress hairs, and if you take a deep breath it smells like dust and cognac mixed with the tears caused by failed deploys. Nothing personal, but I don't give a fuck what a menu looks like on your phone."

She looked around, and noticed the other 2 tired looking guys with unshaven hobo chins. To her credit, she pointed at the woman in the corner: "What about her, she doesn't seem to have a beard"

Yulia, 1.9m long muscled database admin from Ukraine, lets out a heavy sigh. "I do not know you well enough yet to show you where I grow my unkempt graying hairs... . Now get lost divchyna."

Helpdesk girl leaves the scene.

Joanna, machine learning dev, walks in: "I saw a confused blonde lost in the hallway, did you give her the beard speech?"

"Yeah" -- couldn't hold back a giggle -- "haha now she'll come to you"

Joanna: "No I already took care of it"

"How?"

"She started about some stupid menu, so I just told her to smell my cup". Joanna, functional alcoholic, is holding her 4pm Irish coffee. "I think this living up to our stereotype tactic is working, because the girl laughed and nodded like she understood, and ran off to the design department"

Me: "I do miss shaving though"

To be honest: Firefox.

I use it every day since version 3. And a piece of software which has so much competitors and can withstand my urge to change is my winner

Me: *programming*

Team: *furiously discussing something outside of my expertise*

Me: *programming*

Team: *finally acknowledging my existance* "Yeah, dude. We are going to delete te project and start over because we can't fix this issue [which we have never ever discussed with you]."

Me: "What, that's stupid."

Team: "Well, do you have any bright ideas to fix it?"

Me: "Gimme until tomorrow."

Me: *programming*

Team: *doing absolutly nothing*

Me: "I fixed it!"

Team: "Why didn't you do that a week ago?"

Me: "You didn't ask..."

And so goes te story of how i was almost killed by an angry mob.

Here's a children's coding book 👀

I'll be over here reading normal shit.

Debugging 101.

I'm not always right, but when I am... I'm right!

Fuck WordPress

Programming 😁😁😁😁😁

Bring the funny...

My penis.

When you are paid per lines of code

The beginning of my freelancing time. I was so naive. Didn't even used contracts...

This one client wanted a website with 2 specific features until a certain time. It should look nice, but only the features functionality was defined. All seemed reasonable at first.

I delivered 2 weeks before the deadline. The client was furious, as it didn't look like they imagined. They wrote me 8 lengthy emails with very fractioned feedback. It was becoming unreasonable.

But hey, I'm a newbie in this business. I have to make myself a name, I thought.
Oh was I naive....

This whole project went on for 2 more months. The client was unhappy with every change and 2-5 emails a day with new demands were coming in. I was changing things they wanted done 2 days ago, because they changed their mind.

Then they started to get personal. They were insulting me and even my family. My self-confidence dropped to an all-time low.

In the end I just sent them all the code for free and went to therapy.

BTW: this was also my most important experience, as things went up hill from then on. As Yoda once said: The greatest teacher, failure is.

This is some nevt level phishing. I wrote the guy who was listed in WHOIS an E-Mail, correcting his mistakes.

EMOJI CODE FTW!

My desktop now ..

It emanates calmness ..

Me (5 days ago): A major, life-threatening hurricane is coming. I need to prepare. I know you have a need to launch so I will do my best to finish your project.

Client: Ok, stay safe.

Client (today): I know you're not done. You're late actually. To provoke you into further action, we went ahead and announced the launch and people will begin using the website now.

Me (at the store buying food for the next two week): What in the actual ... Here is your code. Finish it yourself. May God have mercy on your cold, dark soul.