Me : The website renewal bill is up and it will due in 30 days

Client : Sleep

Me : 14 days

Client : Sleep

Me : 7 days

Client : Sleep

Me : Last notice, it'll be dead tommorow if we dont pay today

Client : Sleep

*website dies*

Me : F

Client the day after suspension : Hey, we can't access the site.

Me : Play dead

***

I think i should say "email service will die if you don't pay the renewal bill" instead

based on how quick they react when shit stopped working

macOS treats chess like it's the System32 file in windows

Silicon valley should have more episodes in a season😟. Who feels the same?
P.S. - T.J. Miller will be missed🙁

This is the way to do it.

Take notes @theNSA @notNSA

Well yeah. He is right!

Hahaha 😂😂

I got attacked by ransomware and was asked for money...

I sent them my salary slip..They removed it from my computer immediately..

I wanna cry.

When the new employee shows up with new ideas and is all excited to work there.

Random Uncle: So what do you do?

Me: Uncle, I'm a dev at xyz company.

RU: Ah so what do they do

Me: Uncle we work in the internet advertising business, kind of like AdSense

RU: So you basically spam the web?

Me: Yes :/

Gillette Excel

Choosing a pc to buy.
- kids: "can it run minecraft?"
- casual gamers: "can it run overwatch?"
- serious gamers: "can it run witcher 3?"
- business people: "can it run several excel sheets?"
- me: "can it run linux?"

My girlfriend comes in and sees me on devrant.

GF: "What is that app? I see you using it all the time. Is it like an endless blog with updates?"
Me: "It's kinda like facebook. But for developers. And you don't have any friends".
GF: "That seems like a sad app"

HTTP response code cheat sheet
(From /r/Programmer humor)

How do you uninstall such a program without feeling very guilty...,😅

Screw Emojis!!

Client asks how many days will it take to implement feature XYZ.

I say 3 days. But Skype had other plans.

Girl : I like dangerous men.
Me : I didn't run test cases while committing my changes last night.
Girl : my hero!

Me : *wakes up from the dream*

Just got this slack from our server admin.

If (repost)
sorry;

Why software aren't free!

Who will try it? :-D

schrodinger's backup

After years of working on projects where you git clone, npm install, npm start, I get catapulted into this PHP nightmare built on Symfony, and that has zero documentation or tests...

I hate Mondays.

VR/AR research.

I used to work as a photographer then got more interested in image processing and that got me into programming.

I somehow just ended up in my current position which is pretty much my dream job. I don't know if I could work as a "normal" programmer. Research projects tend to be extremely hectic and the goal is not to produce a perfect piece of software but to make prototypes to prove a certain concept might work. It is not possible to focus only on single technology and sometimes the technology is not mature at all.

All this means that sometimes this prototype might be a spaghetti code nightmare which works as long as you don't touch anything. But when you get follow up projects you are able to refine the concept and eventually have quite tidy code base.

Currently I'm making projects with Hololens and luckily I have had time to clean up some components from previous projects. It feels quite nice to have working technology and lots of ready made building blocks. I can finally make stable prototypes quite rapidly.

I'll enjoy this situation until some new crappy world changing technology comes along...

Heartless

!Rant
When you realize you can double tap a post to ++ it

My last night:
- Had nothing much to work on.
- Opened a porn site to spend sometime.
- Clicked on some really good video.
- Realized full screen isn't working on the page.
- Fired up JS console, spent the next 30 minutes trying to get the video part full screen. Failed!
- Opened up Google & navigated through stackoverflow looking for the fix. Still couldn't do it.
- Cursed the website for having a bad design.
- Left the site.

Bad UI = No Fuck.

Everyday i used to spend an hour in the morning reading emails.

Until i made a script that reads all mails, parses to urgent/priorities/meetings etc. Then shows me a dashboard of everything. 1 hr turned to 20mins max.

Then i made a chatbot out of it and now i just talk to it everytime and gives me the rundown.

Gave me so much time to code instead of reading fucking emails.

Everytime

"Introduction to HTML programming language."

When you're completely new to android development and Gradle doesn't want to love you...