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AboutNodeJS engineer with financial-cloud
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SkillsnodeJS, mongoDB, python3
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Github
Joined devRant on 1/27/2020
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A young guy I work with burst into tears today, I had no idea what happened so I tried to comfort him and ask what was up.
It appears his main client had gone nuts with him because they wanted him to make an internet toolbar (think Ask.com) and he politely informed them toolbars doesn't really exist anymore and it wouldn't work on things like modern browsers or mobile devices.
Being given a polite but honest opinion was obviously something the client wasn't used to and knowing the guy was a young and fairly inexperienced, they started throwing very personal insults and asking him exactly what he knows about things (a lot more than them).
So being the big, bold, handsome senior developer I am, I immediately phoned the client back and told them to either come speak to me face-to-face and apologise to him in person or we'd terminate there contract with immediate effect. They're coming down tomorrow...
So part my rant, part a rant on behalf of a young developer who did nothing wrong and was treated like shit, I think we've all been there.
We'll see how this goes! Who the hell wants a toolbar anyway?!401 -
I may be getting evicted due to landlord stupidity but at least I survived budget cuts and get to keep my job after internship. The full-time job offer will be emailed tomorrow
Two interns got cut but at least I and another intern survived.
But sadly now I have to go over my friends work and learn what they were doing well enough to continue it with the other survivor1 -
Told the recruiter about 4 times before my lunch interview that I was a working student (I could only take part time jobs).
Just as we sat down and got our food he asked me where I currently worked, and I gently reminded him that I was still, in fact, a student.
He had this weir look on his face as I had tried to trick him into a free lunch, as all the positions he had was for full time jobs.
Still ate the lunch and had awkward small talk the entire time.6 -
Please do rename the "master" branch to "Führer". The umlaut will probably catch a bunch of applications that aren't UTF-8 ready.14
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What's the point of these stupid questions? Do I really have to kiss some ass even before being hired?12
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Our marketing just change the blacklist/whitelist terms to blocklist/allowlist to make it more "neutral" following change in github "master branch" to "main branch"
When will this end, people ?
:/11 -
!dev
fun fact: when the world made the switch to the Gregorian calendar in the 1500's, we lost about 8 years in translation, so technically, this is the year 2012.6 -
Our management pushes very hard to move most company communications to Facebook Workplace and I'm proud to say that after almost 2 years and with less than a month left here I still haven't made an account. I didn't fucking detox myself from social media to deal with this bullshit at work so that these greedy morons can pretend we're a 'communituh'.1
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I turned a 20 hour per month task into a 150ms database query.
I feel like a fucking super hero.
FYI my super hero name is ThreadPool (see past rant)5 -
Intern complained to Manager that I have been googling to find code snippets
Manager confronted me during one of our meetings. I explained.
Manager felt stupid and seemed angry on the intern.7 -
TIL that TI has no goddamn chill
Texas Instruments released the TI-83+ calculator model in 1996. The Z80 was not at all stock and has the following features:
- 3 access levels (priveleged kernel, kernel, user)
- Locking Flash (R/O when locked for most pages, some pages protected and unreadable as well, only unlockable from protected Flash pages by reading a certain order of bits then setting a port)
- Locking hardware ports (lock state always the same as flash)
- Customizable execution whitelist range (via locked ports)
- Configurable hardware (Flash/RAM size changeable in software via locked ports, max RAM is 8MB which is fucking mental compared to the 64k in the thing)
- Userland virtualization (always-on)
- Reset on violation of security model
- Multithreading
- Software-overclockable CPU
- Hardware MD5 and cert handling
TI made a calculator in 1996 with security features PCs wouldn't see until like 2010 what the *actual* fuck10 -
TFW your client's git policies are so draconian that the dev teams use "develop" as trunk, and completely ignore the release process.
I wrote up 50 pages of git standards, documentation and procedure for a client. Bad indian director 9000 decides the admin (also Indian) who specializes in Clearcase and has no git or development experience is more qualified to decide and let's him set the policy.
FF to today:
- documentation, mostly contradictory, is copy pasted from the atlassian wiki
- source tree is the standard
- no force pushing of any branches, including work branches
- no ff-merge
- no rebasing allowed
- no ssh, because he couldn't figure it out...errr it's "insecure"
- all repos have random abbreviated names that are unintelligible
- gitflow, but with pull requests and no trust
- only project managers can delete a branch
- long lived feature branches
- only projects managers can conduct code reviews
- hotfixes must be based off develop
- hotfixes must go in the normal release cycle
- releases involve creating a ticket to have an admin create a release branch from your branch, creating a second ticket to stage the PR, a third ticket to review the PR (because only admins can approve release PRs), and a fourth ticket to merge it in
- rollbacks require director signoff
- at the end of each project the repo must be handed to the admin on a burned CD for "archiving"
And so no one actually uses the official release process, and just does releases out of dev. If you're wondering if IBM sucks, the answer is more than you can possibly imagine.11 -
For fucks sake I am such an Idiot at times....
I tried building a watering system for my plants and I forgot that I was using free flow pumps that don't act as valve. So when I turn of the pumps the water keeps flowing, even against gravity because of the pressure difference.
TL;DR: I forgot fcking kindergarten physics today.6 -
Who did you guys inherit your programming skills from?
Neither of my parents are skilled with computers, and my dad can barely turn them on. My grandfather was an IBM programmer, but he died before I was ever interested in computers. While he didn't have time to physically get me interested in them, I think that's how it got into my blood.24 -
That moment you find your C++ code from 2012 but you still feel like you know nothing after 8+ years coding. 😭
(Impostor syndrome is strong with this one! 😂)2 -
We had some PR’s this morning. Colleage rewrote an app. Restructured everything. Broke some things. Not a single comment and merged to master.
I get questions like: WhY dO yOu PuT a BuTtOnPrEsS aNd A mOuSeCliCk HeRe?
FOR ACCESSIBILITY ASSHOLE!!! SOMETHING YOU OBVIOUSLY NEVER HEARD OF!!!4 -
I have 4 years of front end development experience and I wrote <image> tag instead of using <img> today5
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How to screw with other developers?
Expose postgres at Port 5435.
I spent 15 mins trying to figure out why my dev machine doesn't connect to the RDS instance.