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Search - "adwords"
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Boss : "just" hack the google AdWords and show our company ad everywhere on google search"
"Don't you know that everything can be hacked?"
Me : "Ok, first let me ***k you."
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I mean "let me hack you"8 -
I built a custom web app for my wife.
She uses Adwords all day long and there mapping tool for radiuses sucks, so I wanted it to be easier for her.
She ended up letting her co-workers use it too, and they love it.
It has copy and paste functionality so that you can save the custom map and open it later.
Today, one of her co workers accidentally emailed a link to this custom web app to a client. He opened the link, and declared it to be the best thing since sliced bread.
Unfortunately, not my client, not my job ... so, it really doesn’t mean much for my career. But it did make me feel good.
Thinking maybe create account functionality and start selling subscriptions. Could be a few extra bucks a month. Lol.8 -
Spent 3+ hours trying to debug an issue I was having with the AdWords API - tore apart my code. Turns out it was AdBlock that was blocking images displayed from the API call. Sigh.1
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Applied to a Jr. Dev job and was hired as a Digital Marketer — I can deal with this, I’m AdWords & Analytics certified. What I can’t abide is that I spent the last year working my ass off learning to code and the person next to me with the Jr. Dev position only uses DIVI and has zero inclination to study, learn or write basic HTML & CSS—much less PHP. I’m not an expert by any means but I love programming, I love the problem solving, the challenges and the culture of it all. So far, and these are only two examples, I’ve shown him how to use the target attribute to open a page as a new tab, and how to register a nav in the functions.php file to create a menu but he is unwilling to even attempt it. Rather, he told me that I was too technical and that no one would be using code in this day and age.
For the record, I think DIVI is a cool platform, it’s clear that my boss knows nothing about code to be fair and I love my job— this is my only issue so far😂 I just needed to rant.5 -
Implemented complex AD tracking system for offline conversions back to ads.
Me: It's done and works and it's based on cookies.
Tech Manager: What if the cookies get deleted all the tracking is gone.......
Me in my head: Stop trying to be clever with the dotdotot ....
Me in real life: Same as Analytics and Adwords .......all that tracking is gone.
FN smart ass.2 -
#!/usr/bin/rant
So, we are a web development and marketing agency. That's fine... except now it seems that we are a marketing and web development agency. Where the head marketing guy feels it's his job to head up web development.
This is NOT what I signed up for.
When you offer web services to a client, the one meeting with the client should understand at least basic stuff, and know when to pull in a heavyweight for more questions. Instead, our web team is summarized by a guy who listens to 80's rock music in a shared office (used to be just me in there) and spends his days trying to get 30-year-olds on Facebook to click an ad.
He was on the phone yesterday with some ecommerce / CRM support, trying to tell them that they have an API, that "it's a simple thing, I'm sure you have it", and that's all we need to do business with them. Which is not his call, it's my call, but for some reason he's the one on the phone asking for API info. The last time I took someone else's word on an API, I underquoted the work and eventually found out that their "API" was nothing more than a cron job which places a CSV file on your server via FTP.
Anyway, we now have a full-time marketer and two part-time interns, with another ad out for an AdWords specialist. Meanwhile, I'm senior dev with a server admin / retired senior dev, and if we don't focus on hiring a front-end guy soon we're going to lose business.
Long story short, I'm getting sick of having a guy who does not understand basic web concepts run the show because he's the one who talks to the client.3 -
I work for a consulting company, my boss comes into the room full of engineers trying to work on Adwords campaign and asks us what words to use. "Should I use blockchain, I heart that's popular. What about AR?" None of us have ever touched any of those technologies and he's going to try and market us as such to some poor potential client he's going to B.S to. Get me out of here.2
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Boss: “Our ecommerce conversions in Google Analytics are less than the actual pace of orders.”
Me: “Nothing has changed in the tracking code or setup. It must be our goals setup which you have to have a Ph.D. to understand, plus whatever mood Google’s algorithms are in today.”
He’s not mad at me. We’re both just confused why Google AdWords, Analytics, and Tag Manager have to be so damn hard to get right. I’ve never been able to do it right. And most data is thrown out because people browse websites while logged into their Google Account, which makes their clickstream disappear and become unattributable because of understandable privacy policies. I don’t want my data tracked when I’m logged in either!
So now we have had to hire specialists at several thousand dollars per month to figure this out. -
"Gmail was launched as an invitation-only beta release on April 1, 2004 and it became available to the general public on February 7, 2007, though still with beta status."
Then read this, and consider the date. And the fact about how blatant the intent was. I can't believe I never thought about it.7 -
A manager just walked in and asked us to stop advertising a for hire advertisement for one of our stores... Okay no big deal right?
Yeah accept he followed up by asking if we could run an ad that told people that we have hired someone now.
Wouldn't that be like a hotel buying advertising that says they no longer have vacancy?1 -
I just tried to get support for a problem we're having getting accurate results from AdWords. Now I know why it's called Google ANALytics. With how complicated it all can be when you're trying not to overspend on AdWords, it's easy for people unfamiliar with it to get a "prison welcome".