Rantish story time!

Today I impressed myself. I was told in all seriousness by a PM "couldn't we do this API in HTML?" and kept a straight face. Even though he doubled down, following with "oh, do you think the language isn't powerful enough?".

Good times!

@dfox man, do you realize the amount of desks that have cleaned *for the first time* because of this week topic? 😅

I'm puzzled, what kind of lobby put you up to this?

Holy shit i've found my father's old books back from the 80's for basic and comodore 64. He learnt from thoose and used to code a lot of games and office softwares on that old beast. 😮

You're so inconsistent you could work in the php core team.

I love mornings ; the dimmed light of the sun slowly rising, the stillness in the office, the smell of the freshly poured coffee and most of all, the excruciatingly loud motherfucker and his power drill.

Aaaaaah 😖

Had to be done...
This way i'm not pissed at myself half the time.

Damn, GitHub is on rampage lately. After dropping tls < 1.3 support, they are expected to drop IE support by July.

Praise GitHub 😍

Javascript is better at maths than you

Please, oh please, tell me there's an exception for murdering people using their phone in speaker mode right in the middle of an open space.

Please ... I feel like it should count as public service and be rewarded ..

I'm trying to work here, it don't give the slightest flying fuck about the latest crap you dare to call code and how it fucked up your whole application.

Now this looks stupid already, but here is the kicker: by "partially hydrated cursor" i mean that once every page size an sql query is ran to get the next page content. This code is put in an event handler, executed once every time a file is uploaded in a dms where files get uploaded by the thousand.

To sum things up, this simple snippet achieves triple dipping:
* waste time on useless sql queries
* waste cpu on useless iterations
* waste disk space on useless logs

Icing on the cake, the author of this piece of shit was complaining about the overall slowness of the process.
Needless to say that when I stumbled on this, both internal *and* external screaming ensued...

To the person in charge of managing my lovely corporate computer, next time you deem timely to install god knows what software in the middle of the afternoon, discreetly burning 50% of my cpu, preventing me from working, don't.

Instead I would cordially encourage you to go fuck yourself with a cactus and ponder on your abyssal incompetence.

With restrained love,

TL;DR: Computers and I go way back, but I don't know how I ended up as a dev - and am still not certain that's what I want to do for the rest of my life.

Rewind to the early 80's. My friends at the time got the Comodore 64 one after the other. I never got one. Heck, we didn't even have a color TV back then. Only a 12/14" small B&W TV. It's easy to conclude that I spent a lot of time at my friends'.

Back then it mostly was about the games. And, living in the rural countryside, the only way to aquire games was to pirate them. Pirating was big. Cassette tape swapping and floppy disk swapping was a big deal, and gamers contacted eachother via classifieds sections in newspapers and magazines. It was crazy.

Anyways. The thing about pirated games back then is that they often got a cracktro, trainer, intro or whatever you want to call them - made by the people who pirated the game. And I found them awesome. Sinus scrollers, 3D text, cool SID-tunes and whatnot. I was hooked.

My best friend and I eventually got tired of just gaming. We found Shoot'Em-Up Construction Kit, which was an easy point-and-click way to create our first little game. We looked into BASIC a bit. And we found a book at the library about C64 programming. It contained source code to create your own assembler, so we started on that. I never completed it, but my friend did.

Fast forward through some epic failure using an Amstrad CPC, an old 486 and hello mid 90's. My first Pentium, my first modem and hello Internet! I instantly fell in love with the Internet and the web. I was still in school, and had planned to enter the creative advertising business. Little did I know about the impact the web would have on the world.

I coded web pages for fun for some years. My first job was as a multimedia designer, and I eventually had to learn Lingo (Macromedia Director, anyone?) And Actionscript.

Now I haven't touched Flash for about 7 years. My experience has evolved back to pure web development. I'm not sure if that's where I will be in the future. I've learned that I certainly don't know how to do everything I want to do - but I have aquired the mindset to identify the tasks and find solutions to the problem.

I never had any affiliation with the pirate scene or the demo scene. But I still get a little tingling whenever I see one of those sinus scrollers.

1995 comodore. I couldn't understand how can something cool like this have shittier games like my sega megadrive 2. In 99 I get my first pentium and internet, then I get trapped.