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Search - "friday releases"
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(Best read while listening to AEnima by Tool, loudly)
Dear Current Workplace,
Fuck you, for the reasons enumerated below.
Fuck your enterprise grey blue offices, the stifling warm air of a hundreds of bodies and sub par "development laptops".
Fuck your shitty carbonated water machines which were a cost saving measure over decent drinkable water.
Fuck your fake "flexi time", "you can do home office whenever you want" bullshit. You're still inviting me to mandatory meetings at 09:00 regularly.
Fuck your shitty, in house, third part IT provider sister company. They're the worst of all worlds. If it was in company, we'd get to give out to them, if it was an external company we'd fire them. And yes, when I quit I will quote the dumpster fire that is our corporate VPN as a major factor.
Fuck your cheery, bland, enterprise communication. Words coming under the corporate letterhead seem to lose all association with meaning. Agile, communication, open are things you write and profess to respect, but it seems your totally lack understanding of their meaning.
Fuck your client driven development. Sometime you actually have to fix the foundations before you can actually add new features. And fuck you management who keep on asking "why are there so many bugs and why is it always taking longer to deliver new releases". Because of you, you fucknuts, Because you can't say "NO" to the customer. Because you never listen to your own experienced developers.
Fuck your bullshit "code quality is important to us" line. If it's so important, then let us fix the heap of shit you're selling so that it works like a quasi functional program.
Fuck you development environment which has 250 projects in a single VS solution. Which takes 5mins plus to compile on a quad core i7 with 32 gb of ram.
Fuck this bullshit ball of mud "architecture". I spend most of my time trying to figure out where the logic should go and the rest of the time writing converters between different components. All because 7 years ago some idiot "architect" made a decision that they didn't have to live with.
Actually, fuck that guy in particular. Yeah, that guy who was the responsible architect for the project for 4 years and not once opened the solution to look a the code.
Fuck the manual testing of every business process. Manual setup of the entities takes 10mins plus and then when you run, boom either no message or some bullshit error code.
Fuck the antiquated technology choices which cause loads of bugs and slow down development. Fuck you for forcing me to do manual tests of another developers code at 20:00 on a Friday night because we can't get our act together to do this automatically.
Fuck you for making sure it's very clear I'm never going to be anything but a code monkey in this structure. Managers are brought in from outside.
Fuck you for being surprised that it's hard to hire competent developers in this second rate, overpriced town. It's hard to hire anywhere but this bland shithole would have anyone with half a clue running away at top speed.
Fuck you for valuing long hours and loyalty over actual performance. That one guy who everyone hated and was totally incompetent couldn't even get himself fired. He had to quit.
Fuck you for your mediocrity.
Fuck you for being the only employer for my skill-set in the region; paying just well enough that changing jobs locally doesn't make sense, but badly enough that it's difficult to move.
Fuck you for being the stable "safe" option so that any move is "risky".
Fuck your mediocrity.
Fuck you for being something I think about when I'm not at work. Not only is it shit from 9 to 5 you manage to suck the joy out of everything else in my life as well?
Fuck you for making me feel like a worse developer every day I work here. Fuck you for making every day feel like a personal and professional failure. Fuck you for making me seriously leave a career I love for something, anything else.
Fuck you for making the most I can hope for when I get up in the morning is to just make it until the night.6 -
TIFU by deploying not one, but two major releases to production at 5pm on a Friday. I trusted my testers, so one of the applications had a major bug in it. I just worked through a child's surprise party. hope the testers are having a lovely evening with their loved ones.1
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Tomorrow is friday and I have to deliver five big releases for two projects, because they were scheduled this week. And afterwards I'm gone for vacation.
And I don't care the slightest little bit.2 -
I hear so many rants/jokes about making releases on Friday evenings. But my new team makes almost all releases on Friday evenings 😶😶1
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PM: Page load times are up. It might be your API blocking requests.
Me: Possible, though most of my load testing was performed against a random sample of requests at nearly 5 times the expected average per minute rate. I can add some logs but I think this is a red herring theory.
PM: Yes add logs, and New Relic and get it released ASAP.
Me: To confirm, you want me to make a bunch of diagnostic changes to a mission-critical API the day before Holiday break...
I felt like that guy from the Apollo 13 team warning Gene Kranz that the LEM was not built for this and I can make no guarantees... Released an hour before we went home for the weekend.undefined finest hour friday releases fud hang on to your butts on call empathy failure is not an option -
My tl sits in The room next to me.
Today he came in to me and asked me how it looked with The release.
I asked him What he meant by that.
"Well, we had release on friday, but you never contacted me about it."
Me: "What? Friday? Since when did we have releases with two weeks inbetween? And why havent I gotten this news?"
Tl: "Well, we don't usualy, but you know... Any way, can you have it done by today?"
Me, 10sec away from a cardiac arrest: "NO, are you insane? You have to tell me about this earlier than the same day."
Tl: "Yeah, but there's been so much work recently.. Well, we'll talk later."
Omfg...6 -
Today I released the next versions two of my company's Android projects. Today was a good day.
Also, releasing on a Friday afternoon FTW! (they are beta releases, so I'm good).1 -
Friday releases are always a bad idea. The feeling of dread over the weekend seeing all the "bugs" and changes come in put a huge dampener on the weekend mood.
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Monday morning
Get to work
Open email
Ci went crazy
Slack is on fire
Some npm modules deprecated approach
Rewrite docker files
Some other npm modules disappeared.
I hate you web technologies, I hate you developers who make releases Friday night.
I hate everything.
Ffs on the weekend just build Ikea fornitures instead of fiddling with my stack!
Sigh.2 -
It's Friday!
Time to close off the team sprints after the team having done 8+ production releases in the last two weeks -_-
Exhausted...2