Burnout hit me. I cant fucking function. I feel extreme tiredness. My brain cant think or work. In fact im feeling numbness in my brain! How can my brain become numb? Thats ridiculous! This has to be a mild burnout or some bullshit. Way too much excessive work and mental pressure. I need a break and this is gonna cost me at least 1 but full day of rest it seems

my brain feels like an AI. It just slices things it sees and layers them over and over again. It doesn’t even change things, leaving them pristine and intact, it doesn’t filter stuff out. I cite memes exactly, word by word, with the exact intonation, because I literally just lip syncing to that meme playing in my head as if I was watching a youtube video. Some days I’m not even conscious of my surroundings, I don’t realize where I am, what I do, I’m just caught in that process I can barely put in words. People ask me to do something for them, I do it, and they’re like “no! it’s not what I asked for, well, it is, but not in this sense!” If they asked me if I could make their company the most profitable one in their niche, my brain will probably decide to instead sink and destroy other companies there. All that unspoken, “common sense” knowledge, I don’t understand. I feel detached, as if everyone else was “in” on something, some common notion, meanwhile I’m alone with my perfect things. I feel like a perfect Haskell codebase trying to interact with biker bar gloryhole dirty equivalent of an API. I want things to be exact, I want things to be precise, I want words you say to have specific meaning that I can understand, and I’ll ask you even though it takes overcoming my anxiety and guilt for asking “stupid” questions. If you throw in some clue, my brain will generate a Vsauce video worth of elaboration on that, and I’ll just tell it to you. Sometimes I feel like I just don’t fit, I can’t have fun at party with other people, if there are more than five of them, I’ll probably cry for no apparent reason. My consciousness operates smoothly, and then it don’t, it overheats, crashes and burns, then comes the numbness and derealisation.

I’m not okay. Now more than ever, I sometimes want to just end it.

Anyone else here having health issues getting in the way of our hobby? I understand that our field is risky. Any actual advice you can give that you yourselves did to be healthy again? Thank you so much.

I struggled with weather to post this but I feel like I have to. I didnt want to feed into the fear or give 'them' any more reason to argue against common sense but I guess it cant be helped.

The reason I was gone for a while was because I went and got my vaccination.

In less than half hour after getting the vaccine, I was in the ICU. The staff told me I had a stroke possibly from clotting and inflamation. I couldnt feel my arm or anything below my shoulders. Yes really.

Apparently I "died" for a little while and when they brought me back I was in a coma for almost a week.

I'm back home now and I still dont fully understand what happened. Still have numbness, and horrible headaches, and can barely think straight sometimes, but the doctors told me that I didnt suffer any permanent brain damage according to my scans.

Also they told me I had old damage to my left and right temporal lobe, which makes sense because I have always suffered problems with short term memory and other issues.

And I'm just at a loss how this could happen. I have no serious injuries. We were told this is safe.

And this is the exact reason I didnt want to post it, because now tards will come in and be "lololol serves you right vaxxer!"

If I knew the side effects were this bad maybe I would have changed my mind but no one told me! I mean I think I still would have got it because we have to protect vulnerable people, but still.

The hospital assured me it wasnt the vaccine and must have been an underlaying condition, but I'm not so sure. I just happen to have a pre-existing problem that I dont know about that causes a stroke and paralysis only half an hour after the shot?

And now I dont know if I'll ever be ok. And doctors warned me I may suffer more strokes and to avoid physically demanding tasks for a while. My primary job is construction (not by chooce). Now I face the prospect of not even being able to work my existing job or do the things I love, like hiking, anymore. So much of the world doesnt make any sense right now and I just dont know what to believe anymore.

Tards will probably be in shortly to suggest I check for microchips or test fucking magnets on myself.

No, just stop.

Okay, THAT was trippy.

Soo.. I slowly srart feeling uncomfortable. It's that feeling when you want to move your body to make it go away. Stretch an arm, move a leg or smth... Alright, no biggie - let's move something. But then my focus is overwhelmed by darkness. Hmm... I must be asleep. There's some soothing humming noise in the background. And that feeling's still there. Aaaahh, the numbness is now going away - I must've moved smth! Good job! Drowning back into sleep now. It's ssooo ssweet...
*outage*

*notions of awareness*
huh? What's that? Oh, right, I need to move again. That humming sound is so relaxing.. I'll move smth to change that status quo. There, much better now. Let's keep the eyes closed and drift back to sleep. It's so dark though...
*outage*

*notions of awareness*
ahh, that feeling again. Come on, I've moved like 4 times already. Well alright, alright, it's better to move that open my eyes or roll over.
Wait...
I can't roll over.
I can't even move my hands. Fuck, must be that sleep paralysis kicking in again. No biggie, it'll wear off if I stay aware long enoug........
*outage*

*...?...*
...nough. What? Did I nod off? That's weird. Meeh, nvm. Why is it so dark though... Okay, let's try to open the eyes. *attempts going on for ~a minute*. No luck. That humming sound, so soothing...
I feel some clothing on my - must be the blanket. So warm.. Nice.I'm feeling - prolly the paralysis is wearing off! Good. A few more minutes and I'll be free to roll over

let's try the eyes once again. Hhhrhrhhh! Nope, not working. Wait, what's that? I turned my body! But somehow...Weirdly. Too easy. There, I did it again! Why is it so easy and I am still feeling paralysed...? Wtf is going on...?

That humming. What IS it..?

Wait! My eyes opened! It's pitch dark in here. Why...? Usually there's at least *some* light in the room. Am I still asleep? Naah, that's not it.. I'm turning my body again. Why did I do that? Wtf is happening?

That humming sound is getting louder and louder, taking all of my attention now.
What is it I'm feeling with my feet? It's hard. And cold.

Wait... AM I STANDING??? What the fuck?!?

Why am i standing??? And that sound - that's... That's... A vent fan in my bathroom!!! Am I standing asleep in my bathroom...? In the middle of the night...? Facing the mirror...? With the lights off....?

WHAT THE FUCK DID JUST HAPPEN?!?!?
HOW THE FUCK DID I GET THERE?!?!?
How long have I been here...?

I HAVE QUESTIONS!!

Fuck it, I'm tired. Time to go to bed. It'll be one mindfuck of a storry tomorrow though...

After a full work day, I swear I feel numbness in my arm and shoulder.

geez so one doc says it isn't multiple sclerosis and the other one says yes and his whole practice just keeps hinting drugs, ignores half my symptoms and questions after gaining my trust (again like the previous neuro), and keeps insisting on me signing a consent form to basically epi-pens that have to be personally delivered to my house every month due to "refrigeration" for the rest of my life and then tries to fear monger me and tells me the brain scars never fade

completely dismissed a lot of things that didn't fit his diagnosis and ofc when I mentioned oh wait the COVID vaccine made me numb that was the ONE and only time he heard me mention numbness and he didn't start nodding his head to it being multiple sclerosis. oh so my immune system can attack my nerves but it can never have anything to do with a product that is meant to increase your immunity, yet you want to inject me with immune destroying shit that will make me immunocompromised as a "cure"?

people are so disappointing

they have like 30 tests they did on me and all their results. and they took even more blood and didn't explain why. I was in there 2 hours going over all the events with the interim chick who seemed human but her boss doctor is not. guess I'm figuring out how to get all my test results, since I saw them for the first time in years on her fucking computer screen and I can actually use that data

this guy has the gall to keep telling me I was reading blogs when I mentioned I did research when the doctors kept dismissing me 3 years ago... and little snips like "supplements don't work" alongside shit like "let me prescribe you vitamin d" to which I was confused because he literally just asked me if I take vitamin d and I said I took some during the winter but stopped... so I clearly still have it. they sell them in bottles of 360 pills here come on. and he throws in "vitamin d is actually studied to be efficacious". yeah so is a lot of stuff I read about and tried and it did work. I had to actually fight him to just be allowed to use the vitamin d I already have at home ???

I only ended up in the hospital recently due to the trauma and not the nerve issues. cuz I could have emotions without shaking violently so all my emotions from the trauma undergone by his comrades and my friends abandoning me is just re-arranging itself through the 5 brain lesions now and my 2/10 death scale. these fear mongering hacks at least finally told me how many lesions and nicely decided to give me a "death scale" to upsell their drugs

so they wanna give you fake antibodies to kill your b cells so bam no immune system. ok why can't you just fix my b cells instead, re classify them? he's like making a face and I'm like "oh right sorry you probably spent your whole life trying to solve this" since he's literally the expert on multiple sclerosis in one of the most renouned universities in the world and got PhD beside his name... I don't wanna be insulting. then he looks disapprovingly at me and says "maybe in a decade or two". how much you wanna bet it's trivial?

I fucking want my fucking tests. they mentioned high igg (amongst themselves ofc, not to me). but not what igg it is. igg4 is tolerance igg... and COVID vaccine injured people all have high igg4. is it fucking igg4? does he even know how iggs work? his neurologist colleague said I had no antibodies for MS. so why do I have high igg if I have no antibodies for my own neurons?

these fucking hacks. I can't with this medical field.

and he has the gall to tell me to sign consent forums to get the meds now and tried this damnedest to fearmonger me. "this company" he points on the paper like that somehow matters. this is Canada why the shit would I give a shit which company it fucking is, all healthcare is free? even the fucking lead specialist in his field is just shilling for pharma. cure it or eat shit. claims lesions don't go away. oh you wanna bet? if you let me see my MRIs I'll find a way. guy totally ignored how that EEG helped me. in theory it shouldn't help anyone but it helped my nerves turn back on immensely. I mentioned it 4 times. are you not interested? are you not a PhD holder or just a prop? what a useless hack seriously

his interim was nice though. she heard me cry for 2 hours lmao. I apologized and she said it's fine and normal. apparently MS people have trauma a lot. well yeah you have your nerves scream a banshee scream and then everyone leave and insult you, all the while you can't think your way out of a paper bag and cease being able to walk randomly and all the other random nonsense

humans perpetuate to disgust me

Introduction to Vascular Health

Vascular health is essential for the proper functioning of the circulatory system, responsible for delivering oxygen and nutrients throughout the body. Healthy blood vessels help ensure effective blood flow, reducing the risk of chronic conditions like Peripheral Arterial Disease (PAD), Venous Disease, and complications related to End-Stage Renal Disease (ESRD). When blood flow is restricted or obstructed due to vascular conditions, various organs can suffer, affecting overall health and quality of life.

Vascular Health

Peripheral Arterial Disease (PAD)
What is Peripheral Arterial Disease?

Peripheral Arterial Disease is a common circulatory problem in which narrowed arteries reduce blood flow to the limbs. Primarily affecting the legs, PAD is usually a result of atherosclerosis, where fatty deposits build up on artery walls, obstructing blood flow.

Symptoms of PAD

Leg pain, cramping, or fatigue, particularly during walking or exercise
Numbness or weakness in the legs
Coldness in the lower leg or foot
Wounds on toes, feet, or legs that are slow to heal
Risk Factors and Prevention

Risk factors include smoking, diabetes, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, and obesity. Lifestyle changes like quitting smoking, maintaining a balanced diet, and regular exercise are crucial to preventing and managing PAD. Early diagnosis is key to reducing complications, which can include severe leg pain, limited mobility, and, in severe cases, amputation.

Treatment Options for PAD

PAD treatment options range from medication to manage blood flow to procedures like angioplasty and vascular surgery for severe cases. Lifestyle changes and consistent follow-up with healthcare providers are important for managing PAD and preventing further complications.

End-Stage Renal Disease (ESRD) and Dialysis
Understanding ESRD and Dialysis

End-Stage Renal Disease occurs when the kidneys lose most of their functional ability, requiring dialysis or a kidney transplant for survival. Dialysis helps eliminate waste, salt, and excess water to balance the body’s electrolytes, compensating for kidney function.

The Vascular Connection

Dialysis requires access to blood vessels, which often involves creating a fistula or graft, usually in the arm. Over time, these blood vessels can experience complications like narrowing, blockages, or infections, impacting both vascular and overall health. Monitoring and managing these issues is crucial for people undergoing dialysis to prevent severe complications.

Symptoms and Treatment

Symptoms of ESRD include fatigue, difficulty concentrating, swelling in the legs and ankles, and persistent nausea. ESRD patients must adhere to a strict treatment plan that includes dialysis, medication, and dietary changes. Managing vascular health is particularly critical for these patients due to the increased risk of vascular disease associated with kidney failure and dialysis.

Venous Disease
What is Venous Disease?

Venous Disease encompasses a range of conditions where veins, particularly in the legs, fail to function properly. Chronic Venous Insufficiency (CVI) and varicose veins are two common types of venous disease, often resulting from faulty valves in the veins. When valves don’t close properly, blood pools in the legs, causing pain, swelling, and other symptoms.

Symptoms of Venous Disease

Swelling in the lower legs and ankles
Pain or a heavy feeling in the legs, especially after standing
Discoloration or thickening of the skin around the ankles
Visible varicose or spider veins
Risk Factors and Prevention

Risk factors include age, genetics, obesity, prolonged sitting or standing, and a sedentary lifestyle. Preventive measures include regular exercise, maintaining a healthy weight, and wearing compression stockings for those at high risk.

Treatment Options for Venous Disease

Treatment ranges from lifestyle adjustments, compression therapy, and medications to minimally invasive procedures like sclerotherapy, laser therapy, or vein stripping for severe cases. Early diagnosis and intervention can improve symptoms and prevent complications like leg ulcers and blood clots.