New senior dev joined the project today.
Senior dev: "There's no way for me to test my changes before I merge this into develop"
Me: "Can you at least run our test suite?"
An hour later the develop branch is fucked and everyone who has merged it locally has pages of red errors splattered across their screens whenever they run any tests.
Start looking into what the fuck is going on.
Notice that all the errors are related to changes the new guy made.
Ask him if he ran the tests..
Senior dev: "Nah they wouldn't catch anything locally "
Stare at the stream of red text running down my screen.
Normally I wouldn't care but we were trying to prepare a release... RUN THE FUCKING TESTS ASSHOLE.

It's disheartening to see a senior member of my team shitting on the code of less mature developers. Don't just say "this is unacceptable", elaborate, teach them. How are they going to action anything from that feedback?

Take the time to respond to their questions when they ask for clarification on what you're saying. Don't berate them.

Honestly some developers need to learn a thing or two about code etiquette.

There's no room for good cop / bad cop behaviour.

Rules of Optimization:
Rule 1: Don't do it.
Rule 2: Don't do it yet(experts only)

Surprise surprise, that unrealistic deadline you set even when the engineering team told you that it wasn't going to work has backfired! Maybe you wouldn't be so stressed if you learnt to listen? It's a pretty basic skill, or at least I thought so.
Oh and when you say "we have two options, stay late or work weekends" you have a critical bug in your conditional. Your missing option 3, go the fuck home. Time to enjoy my weekend with friends and family.

Disturbingly accurate

"The client has an important meeting next week! You have two days!"
If it's that important why are we just hearing about it...

I saw lights and got in ... What it this place ?
And hello everybody I guess

There’s a special place in hell for fuckwits who create tickets and don’t include the fucking error message.

People should have mandatory lessons in vector processing.

In canteen, after lunch, there were 4 places you could place your trays. But only small, one-way corridor, for one person at a time to get there.

Every person picked the first place and while they were placing the tray, people behind them had to wait. Huge line started to form. If they, instead, always picked the last empty place, all tray places would be occupied for longer and the processing speed could increase almost 4 times.
Textbook vector processing example.

I want to make an AI bot from scratch. Where do I start? Which languages should I know? What IDE should I use?

Nothing shits me more than being interrupted every two hours for a "huddle". Shove your buzzword up your ass and fuck off so I can actually get some work done. What am I currently working on? The same fucking thing I was doing before you interrupted me again for a status update.

Stop shoving Django admin down everyones throat as a client facing solution every time we need any admin functionality.

It’s great at first but then you have to dick around customising it when you could build the same thing with any modern frontend framework and REST API easily.

Not to mention Django admin couples the models to the view it provides you (inlining particular models given their relationships)

Beers on a Wednesday afternoon at work. Feelsgoodman.

That feeling when you have a new job lined up and nothing to rant about.

__readfsdword(0x30) because getting the PEB is cool

!Rant

Always dismissed tools such as JSBin for no apparent reason. Gave it a go a few weeks ago, and god damn as I love JSBin now.

why does touchwiz still look like an interface for a 9-year old?

For a while my social life was fuck all due to death marches and poorly managed projects. I’d be so exhausted by the time the weekend rolled around that I just didn’t want to do anything.

Sticking to a healthy work schedule and prioritising family and friends after an 8 hour workday did wonders.

On weekends I just tell me wife that I want to look at technology x for a couple of hours and we plan our day around that.

Also, finding social events I want to attend like DnD made a huge difference.