Dear Apple,

If you were a person in the streets dying after swallowing a fish bone, I'd stop by only to KICK YOUR FUCKING HEAD REPEATEDLY INTO THE CURB!!!!

FUCK YOU for wasting my time getting my hands on an old MacBook just so I can develop in your shitty prison of an ecosystem.

FUCK YOU for wasting my time having to install officially unsupported crapOS for the hardware only in order to use your steaming pile of shit latest Xcode because it's the only way to write code for the target device.

FUCK YOU for running slower on a 2.5GHz processor with 16G of ram than the Internet did in 1995. FUCK YOU AGAIN as browsing the internet is faster than anything else on this setup. FUCKING planned obsolescence MOTHER FUCKERS!

FUCK you for the headaches with multiple different iOS versions to take into account when thinking about what should be a simple project.

FUCK YOU ESPECIALLY for just keeping the soulless simulator blank because i need a fucking mother fucking development certificate and provisioning profile to run a hello world on it.

FUCK YOU for forcing me to use 2 factor authentication to enroll on your SCAM developers program.

FUCK YOU for NOT FUCKING ALLOWING ME TO ENABLE 2 FACTOR AUTH WITHOUT REMEMBERING MY SECURITY QUESTIONS FROM 2012!!

FUCK YOU AGAIN for when I reset those through crappy crapOS THEN requiring me to FUCKING install Developer app from the shit store to enroll....

BUT FUCKING GOD DAMN FUCK YOU FOR GETTING ME TO WRITE THIS RANT BY THEN NOT ALLOWING ME TO ENROLL IN THE DEVELOPER PROGRAM THROUGH SAID APP BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE iCloud setup!!! I DON'T FUCKING WANT iCloud.... I WANT TO FUCKING MEET MY DEADLINE AND WRITE THIS APP!!!!!

JESUS WEEPS as I restart this absurdly slow crapbook in the hope that the option to sign in to iCloud will show up in settings next time....

(meanwhile I I contemplate the sisyphean absurdity of existence and how John C Lilly was probably right about the Solid State Entity grooming humanity for takeover by alien AI...)

I start to contemplate blowing out my brains instead as to sign into iCloud i need to remember some long lost code and now rinse wash and repeat mindless authentication steps OH SO VERY SECURE APPLE only to get the attached godforsaken error... i restart again as i wish the universe would restart itself...

...i begin to enjoy hitting my head against the desk as i try to understand why apple won't let me enroll in there development program... i guess it's because i'd kick their head in... after 2 hours no more... FUCK YOU APPLE TO ETERNAL INFINITE SUFFERING IN DEMONIC HELLS YOU WORTHLESS, PARASITIC, SCUMBAG ENTITY... GO CHOKE ON STEVE JOBS EXHUMED ROTTEN COCK!!! BASTARD TIME WASTING MOTHER FUCKERS!

!dev (?)

Ughhh
I hate fucking school books,
My students get their books from the school, they got a 2014 edition, I got them from my employer, I got the 2019 edition.

"How different could they be?"
Totally different, the chapters are in a different order(Who learns classes before loops and conditions???) everything is different. "Okay", you might say, "surely it's just just a few pages prior or later right?"
No!
"So open your books on page 69(lol)" *Starts explaining*
Students: *Look confused* "ehm, Soldier? Are you sure that's the right page? I don't see the table"
Me: "Lemme check I'm not wrong" *Looks at the book* "Yeah, page 69, you see the table at the bottom?"
Student: "No?" *Shows me book*
Me: "Wait, that's not what I have, can you show me the book?"
*Looks at book, it's a completely different subject and chapter*
*Goes to ToC, finds the place where the table is*
It's on page fucking 98, this happens for a few more times.
"Okay forget the book, I guess I'l just draw everything on the board for now."

Fuck you book publishers or whoever is responsible for this cashgrab of planned obsolescence.

Developers celebrate new Safari browser features. Nice! Good work! But when will Apple ship the new Safari to older macOS and iOS versions?
That would increase compatibility and reduce planned obsolescence, Apple! 🍏🍎👿

Used another charger on my laptop (same manufacturer). Moments later battery icon starts flashing and notifications pop up about it "maybe needing to be replaced".

Hmmm....

Please support old web browser versions for all eternity.

I hate it when I open a site like SoundCloud one day and am greeted with a "we no longer support your browser" notice. Now I am forced to update my browser to a new version with removed features. On Android, Chrome sometimes crashes due to an apparent memory leak, so I have to go back to Samsung Internet, which does not work with some sites. Also, the Samsung clipboard manager (which can hold up to 20 items) is only available on Samsung Internet, not Chrome or Firefox.
I also have to update the browser on my live USB bootable stick because sites stop supporting it. Any browser starting in 2015 (ECMA script 6) should be supported until at least 2050 so that I never have to fear that a site one day spontaneously stops working on my browser.

I would like to browse the Internet forever without having to ever worry about pages to stop working one day. Browser vendors might also deprecate support for devices and operating systems. Old devices also have replaceable batteries and are easier to repair. I don't want be forced to buy new devices that are difficult and expensive to repair.