I very very rarely drink, but when I do I party hard.

I negotiated an entire piece of complex web architecture (really huge, works at 50k transactions per second), with my boss who's a lead architect, from a bar (he thought I was home), while moderately drunk.

It got me a lotta praise and till date it's one of the best pieces of software I've ever written. It saved the company 500+ hours or something #humblebrag.

To this day I have no recollection of what I said (huge hangover after) or how I managed to come up with that shit. I don't think I'd have been able to do it sober. The sheer size of the problem would've made me go "yea it works, I'm not touching that. Nope."

DAE notice any increase in pattern recognition in their code while drunk?

The strangest place I've ever coded... I woudn't say it was the strangest, but definitely the least expected?

The hospital's recovery room after my second child.

I was working at/in Hell at the time (see previous rants concerning API Guy and the asshole salesman CEO). Said salesman douchebag ceo bossman had no recollection of me being expecting, going to the hospital, or even why I was there (and if he did, he wouldn't have cared at all). He still insisted I work on his shit features because they were so important for his ever-so-important client and their new signups that they were going to do anyway. I loathe him so fucking much.

Anyway, the feature in question was pretty tiny: during the new client onboarding process, if the client came from a specific affiliate link, the frontpage should change to reflect that affiliate's branding -- different background, a custom header, etc. It was pretty easy to do, though I made certain he didn't know that. During an hour while everyone else was asleep (and while I wasn't passing out from exhaustion), I pulled out my macbook air and built his stupid feature next to my hours-hold newborn.

Did I get any appreciation for that? Sure! He showed appreciation by not yelling at me for a few days. But only because he thought the feature was difficult and that I got it done quickly, not because anything else was difficult. Asshole.

Yes, I told him several times before and several times more afterward. I don't know what goes though his head or how it even works, but it didn't seem like a big deal to him, and he kept forgetting, or maybe he just pretended to listen like he always did. Fucking asshole apparently never heard of maternity leave. I could rant and swear and curse and fume and rage about him for years 🤬 I can't believe I was so excited when I netted that job.

But anyway, building the feature was actually kind of relaxing. I organized and wrote the entire project myself, so working with it was a pleasure, and it was an easy change that I could abstract nicely and cleanly. I totally didn't mind doing it, and actually kind of enjoyed it. I just hated who I was doing it for, and that he didn't fucking care. Used and abused? absolutely. I hope he dies in the most painful, gruesome way possible. Spaghettification might not even be awful enough

I missed 25 on call alerts over night.

Me and my wife did not budge. Look at me call history and I cleared my voicemail at 4am... No recollection of that at all.

Oh well!

Imagine posting something about nvm (node version manager) and then quitting via nvm figured out thingy

Imagine proposing an actual `nvm figured out` command to nvm team and then it’s implemented so you can legitimately post “nvm figured out” as a solution

There's a comment I left on a code review on Friday that I have absolutely zero recollection of even looking at the review. On the upside, apparently I did work in my sleep..? It's something that was discussed in today's stand-up...

Literally can't afford to sleep less than 6 hours two nights in a row. If I do, like I did last night, my dumb tired sleepwalking ass will just turn off my two alarms and be late for work by like an hour.

How does something like this happen? I have no recollection of waking up even briefly to turn off my alarms but I know I wouldn't sleep in consciously on a work day, so whom can I even blame?

I used to work in the culture and entertainment field. Some work days during festivals and tours were long. It wasn’t uncommon for me to work 24h+ straight, but I think the longest uninterrupted work session was during the first iteration of a big music festival, where I ended up doing a 53h (to my recollection) day, then taking a 3h nap, and continuing for another several hours. Dev work is so much easier comparatively in that regard - and the money’s better.