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Search - "shitstain"
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Swift, oh my god, why do you have to be like this?
I'm looking to write a simple for loop like this one in java
for(int i = 5; i > 0; i--) {
// do shit
}
Thats it, simple, go from 5 to 1 (inclusive), I saw that to iterate over a range in a for loop (increasing ordeR) I can do this
for i in 0...5 {
// do shit.
}
So I thought maybe I could do this to go in reverse (which seems logical when you think about it doesn't it?)
for i in 5..<0 {
// do shit
}
But no, this compiles FINE (THIS IS THE FUCKING KICKER IT COMPILES), alright, when you the code runs you get a fucking exception that crashes the mother fucking application, and you know what the problem is?? This dogshit, shitStain of a language doesn't like it when integer that the for loop starts with is larger than the integer that the for loop ends with MOTHERFUCKER ATLEAST TELL ME THAT AT COMPILE TIME AS A MOTHERFUCKING WARNING YOU PIECE OF SHIT!!
Alright *deep breathing*, now we can't just be stuck on this raging, we're developers need to move forward, so I google this, "Swift for loop in reverse" fair enough I get a straight forward answer that tells me to use the `stride` functionality. The relevant code for it
for i in stride(from:5 to:1 by:-1) {
// do shit
}
Wow looks fine and simple right?? (looks like god damn any other language if you ask me, no innovations here piece of shit apple!) WRONG BITCHES !!! In the latest version of Swift THE FUCKING DEVELOPERS DECIDED TO REMOVE STRIDE ALTOGETHER, WITHOUT ADDING IN A GOOD REPLACEMENT FOR THAT SHIT!
Alright NOW IM FUCKING MAD, I got rage on stackoverflow chat, a guy who's been working on ios for quite a while comes up n says and I quote
"I can sort of figure it out, but besides that, iterating in reverse is uncommon enough that it probably hasn't crossed anyone's mind."
Now hope you guys understand my frustration, and send me cookies to calm me down.
Thank you for listening to me !27 -
Inspired by @h3ll, this is a combination of current and former coworkers:
Awkward Wizard:
This guy has the social skills of a microwaved dog turd. He is a genius, but working with him is about as uncomfortable as sticking a grill skewer in your eye and twisting it repeatedly until close of business. He laughs at inappropriate times, and every time he does, an unborn child tears its own ears off. He explains things in a way that only himself and Satan understand, then talks to you like you're a child when you don't follow his logic. He is the guy you hide when the CEO is around. His code is immaculate.
Backstab McGillacutty:
This bowl of bile is the son of a bitch that takes credit for everybody else's work. When you do something good, he was miraculously involved, but when you mess up, this twat is the dicknose that brings it up in retrospective and calls you out by name to the boss. You can usually find these guys talking shit about the CTO, until the boss quits. Then they buddy up with the CTO and become a Joel Osteen-esque evangelist for everything the CTO wants in a shitty, underhanded attempt to climb the ladder. Fuck this guy.
Professor Fuckwaffle:
This coworker used to teach Computer Science classes. Their resume is amazing, and they can speak to the most complex of design principles. This is the shitstain that you hire because of their skill and knowledge only to find out that ol' fuckwaffle can't apply the shit they spout to save their wretched lives. You'll spend more time listening to fuckwaffle lecture than you will reviewing their code (because they cant fucking write any!) You know the saying, those who can, do, and those who can't, teach? Yeah, that shit was written for Fuckwaffle.
Last but not least:
Scrumdumb:
This guy isn't even a coder. This guy is worse than the the scum you pour out of the bottom of a slow-cooker that you forgot to wash last time you made chicken. He's a non-technical PM. You know the type, right? He usually says "cloud infrastructure," "paradigm," "algorithm," "SDLC," etc but has no grasp of any of them. He often opens his dumpster to spout off something like "You can just create a new class for that" while talking about HTML. I won't waste any more breath on Scrumdumb, he already creates enough work for me.3 -
For those of you retards that post shit like:
"fuck"
"well I hate this"
or similar shit that only you understand in the hopes that someone goes and asks you what is wrong: fuck off with that attention seeking bullshit.
Seriously, even it your shit is tech dev related, just fucking post it you attention seeking shitstain.
Or fuck off all together from the app to begin with.14 -
My Nexus 6P died yesterday..
A new battery that I ordered for it months ago, arrived.. today.
4700mAh. If only I could've tested it.
This feels so much like it was just to rub it in a little bit further that that Nexus is gone forever.. just before I could fix the first shitstain, the second one occurred already... Fuck me :')9 -
From 3 decades of operating system development, yesterday Windows shat itself (for the so many'th time) with the ACPI power button (how one can possibly fuck up interacting with a goddamn fucking pushbutton, I have no idea) and this morning I got back to my PC, only to notice that the USB driver (again one of the easiest and most ubiquitous protocols out there) shat itself as well. So wiggling the mouse to activate the screen? Of course, no says Windows. I can't possibly do that much, even though I'm developed by a team that could easily outnumber most distributions' development teams, and am part of a company that turns over fucking billions of dollars each year.
I feel that Microsoft offends the words "operating system" to the point that it should be changed (call me SJW 🙃), just for Windows. Shouldn't be too much of an effort considering that Microsoft never follows common standards anyway. I'd like to introduce you to the term "operating shitstain" 😜10 -
Github Copilot is a dumb little shitstain
For the past years I've been trying to periodically give a go to various copilots every time they made an announcement like "our next version will replace programmers, it will make singularity look like child toys"
Unfortunately and unpleasantly, in 2025 copilot is the dumbest shit ever and even junior coworkers can produce better code.
I can make it do only bovine code like class mapping and simpleton tasks.
Delusional24 -
FUCKING WHY ME!
Lost my dedicated internet access due to a SHITSTAIN of an ISP TELIA decided to introduce itself to my connection A SECOND FUCKING TIME in the past YEAR.
Suddenly lost internet and my firewall couldn't figure out that it was supposed to lose all its fucking connections and renew it's IP adress.
Now im connected to this fucking hipe of shit that is the biggest giver of their customers information to anyone who asks, "Hey man, whats the dude who has this IP?, - sure fam, here you go"
Now i probably have some poor motherfuckers name attached to my current IP.
But could you say that i am now untraceable?4 -
Recruiter from last week told me she will contact me next week with further HR interviews
No contact for the whole week until right now
---
RECRUITER: Hello, colleagues from ShitStain company have provided feedback, and unfortunately, they won't be proceeding with the further process. They mentioned they need someone with more experience and asked me to thank you for your patience and interest. Personally, I've had only positive experiences from our conversation, so if a similar position opens up with another client in the future, I'll be free to reach out to you. I hope we have the opportunity to collaborate again.
ME: Thank you for the response. If me having 5+ years of experience is not enough for them, what exactly are they looking for? I'd like to know more about what they think I'm missing, and if it's indeed a gap, I'll work on improving that aspect.
RECRUITER: Your experience is certainly valuable to offer employers. However, for this position, they specifically need experience in Java, and they're looking for someone who has been focused on that technology for 5+ years. I believe new opportunities will arise soon that I can offer you if you're still interested in making a change. 😊
---
Is she FUCKING STUPID?
I JUST SAID i have 5+ years of experience and she rejects me because they need someone with 5+ years of experience????? (we're both talking about the same thing -- java)
Even if someone has 5+ years of experience THAT IS NOT ENOUGH? WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT FROM ME 96+ YEARS OF EXPERIENCE?
Are you Fucking mental?
Am i being fucking gaslighted right now?
Can you fucking believe what kind of retards contact me?
NO ONE even gives a SHIT about the fact that i have a computer science degree from a VERY hard university?
My 5+ years of experience and 25+ years of school is worth between $0 and $500 ?????
I am disgusted
I am absolutely tired and exhausted from interviews3 -
Sooooo this is the thing.
For a stupid fucking project at work we basically have to scrum manage a bunch of individual components on a rather large web app.
We start with the html and css and js bs and we all have to work on different sections of one page at a time. Large blocks right? Ok cool.
Originally I had suggested to build everything inside individual php files and then stack them up with require(). As fucking simple as fucking that. Except that the manager does not have php on her pc. The other two developer don't either. I am the only one that fucks with php OUTSIDE our fucking servers.
Go fucking figure...the lead developer does not fuck with php outside the servers.....man
So, because i know it would be a shitstorm with something as basic as installing i dunno...fucking xampp my manager said that she needs a different solution.
Fuck it...fine...whatever. i know go. So i make a fucking server wich upon being fired you can just code the templates and paste them where they need to go. Docs and everything..a sane folder structure and everything and a fucking pipleline for the assets and everything. I would have thought that shit was good enough but I even added a cmd tool that merges all the fucking html files together into one html file with all the shit included.
All in Golang. It works, its fast and i can just give them the fucking folder with the exe and it will work.
I dunno if this was the best way to do it. But it took me maybe 20 mins to do it and it works.
I would have expected our manager to be impressed but she legit did not gave two fucking shits about the fact that one of her developers is able to create this mini server for static sites shitstain project in 20 minutes.
Man I don't want praise. She thinks that jquery is the best thing in the world so I don't expect much. But shit man.......a better reaction would have been better. She basically went meh ok as long as it works.
I also showed them a demo of a flutter project to replace the shitty ass webview filled school app that they have for android and ios. Shit is native and it looks beautiful. Ask me what she said.
Go on, fucking ask me.
She said tha if it would take me much time to continue on that the she would rather leave it to the third party vendor that currently makes the app.
I told her that such shitty app costs the school 40 fucking thousand dollars a year that I could do in a fucking month, which would also be better since it would raise the salaries of me and the other 2 developers and will more importantly make us more valuable to the school.
Said that she would think about it because we have a lot of projects.
I
Fucking
Hate
It
When someone fucks with my ability to make more money. I hate it fam. And i fucking despise being limited by other people.
Fuck this week.
I am never gonna grow in here. Ever. But it pays the bills so fuck it.6 -
WHY is cmake such a total shitstain?
Nothing about it works. literally nothing. I can't even make it run a script and do probably the single most fundamental notion of what it means to run a script, which is display its fucking output.12