Ladies and Gentlemen,

I present you the API I'm working with...

That's a pretty fucking useful error description right there.

Stackoverflow.

When you mention in your resume that you are an active contributor to Linux source code.

I'm afraid of getting dumped and it's not because i fear rejection or being alone, it's just because the stack trace will be HUGE!

PHP in 2030 :D

The world is about to end

Saw this picture today

Sometimes I feel frontend development is like ancient magic:

Backend Dev: Oh no, I can't align this DIV properly.
FE Dev: No worries!
* Casts Flexius Boxius on the DIV *
* Div aligns slightly better *
BE Dev: But it's not centered!
FE Dev: No worries!
* Casts Marginis Automaticus! *
* Rolls natural 1 *
* Everything collapses *
* Website is on fire *
* Product owner cries *
FE Dev: No worries!
* Casts Flexius Boxius level 5 on the parent div *
* Everything looks beautiful *
* People are in awe *
FE Dev: You are welcome!
* Adjusts his robe and leaves *

In Europe, we use € instead of $ in jQuery.

Finishing projects instead of starting new ones

When you finish a HTML + CSS assignment that's due in one week in 5 minutes.

[Friend]: OMG are you hacking!
[CMD]: tree
[Friend]: Wow!

Friend: OMG are you hacking ?

[sudo apt-get update] running

Me: Yes. I am.

My rubber duck is not hatching from my rubber egg. I'm starting to worry :-S

Is java reaching multiple dimension to pull extra cpu power?

Travelled 4 hours to an interview to do a JavaScript paper test with questions copied from W3C academy👌

So you are telling me the microcontroller is not for controlling the micro?

Me: “I’m gonna rebuild this site from the ground up.”
Also me, 5 minutes into it: “Can’t figure out this stupid CSS thing I need to do. Gonna take a quick break.”
Also also me, looking at it 5 days later:

My worst nightmare:

it's not the code what's wrong during testing.

It's the unit tests themselves

*Working on personal project*

Don't get excited about another project
Don't get excited about another project
Don't get excited about another project
Don't get excited about another project

...DAMNIT

Day 2 of debugging: I have more bugs now than I originally started with

admin
admin

*Builds a web component for a client website*

CLIENT: I don't like it, can I have it a tiny bit over to the right more

ME: Taps the arrow key a few times making it look like I'm doing something.(Which actually does nothing)

Client: 👌Perfect

😂😂😂 Wut 😂😂😂

I really wish i was a good designer. Id love to put together attractive frontends with cool and unique ideas.

I also wish i wasnt colorblind.

A coworker was working on some code and wrote two return statements and asked a senior developer why the second value wasn't being returned.

Thanks but don't tell my boss

When a website uses https but stores passwords in plain text...

Don’t use frameworks or libraries, just build the same code over and over on every project. 😒

Release time :)

No credits, sorry