Google Devfest new Delhi 😍😍 !! It was awesome!
I wish I cd meet some ranters there...sigh...that didn't happen.

IoT is when your ai powered toaster is mining bitcoin to pay off its gambling debts it has with the smart fridge.

During an Interview:
- What's your greatest strength?
- Perseverance.
- Ok, thank you, we'll contact you!
- I'll wait here...

i started using reddit i few days ago

!r/ProgrammerHumor

Biggest scaling challenge I've faced?

Around 2006~2007 the business was in double-digit growth thanks to the eCommerce boom and we were struggling to keep up with the demand.

Upper IT management being more hardware focused and always threw more hardware at the problem. At its worst, we had over 25 web servers (back then, those physical tall-rectangle boxes..no rack system yet) and corresponding SQL server for each (replicated from our main sql server)

Then business boomed again and projected the need for 40 servers (20 web servers, 20 sql servers) over the next 5 years. Hardware+software costs (they were going to have to tear down a wall in order to expand the server room) were going to be in the $$ millions.

Even though we were making money, the folks spending it didn't seem to care, but I knew this trajectory was not sustainable, so I started utilizing (this was 2007) WCF services and Microsoft's caching framework Velocity. Started out small, product lookup data (description, price, the simple stuff) and within a month, I was able to demonstrate the web site could scale with less than half of our current hardware infrastructure.

After many political battles (I've ranted about a few of those), the $$ won and even with the current load, we were able to scale back to 5 web servers and 2 sql servers. When the business increased in the double-digits again, and again...we were still the same hardware for almost 5 years. We only had to add another service server when the international side of the business started taking off.

Challenge wasn't the scaling issue, the challenge was dealing with individuals who resisted change.

Someone at Google: how do we make Android build times quicker?

Someone else at Google: we could make a new button next to Run and call it 'Instant Run' and give it an awesome lighting bolt icon!

First someone: what will it do differently?

Second someone: nothing 😎

The Web developer's equivalent to, "have you turn it off and on again":

"Try clearing the cache"

Installing Nvidia drivers in Arch linux right now. Tell my family I love them.

Chrome is so selfish

On Amazon buying Whole Foods.

we fell in love because both of us prefer tabs over spaces

Push your commits before anyone else, so you don't have to resolve any merge conflicts 😈

working on a better captcha...

Well...

Interviewer: Are you familiar with SVN?

Me: Nope.

*trying to GIT out of the room*

My friend just started RUBY.
He read somewhere " Ruby is used commonly in rails ".

He now thinks RUBY is for programming trains and station related stuff.

"Knock, Knock",
"Knock, Knock",
"Knock, Knock",
"Who's..."
"Knock, Knock",
"Knock, Knock",
"there?"

- DDoS Atack

(overheard parents talking)

Mum: I'm worried about our son, I guess he was hacking today
Dad: What? [Chuckle] No. He's not that grown up enough. Prolly programming.
Mum: But, the screen was all blue and there was nothing but text on it. And then suddenly it went blank. So, I asked him what he was doing and he said it was a BSOD. That sounds scary NSA level stuff.
Dad: it isn't [came out of the room, saw me there]

(And we laughed and laughed and laughed)

- Knock, knock

- An async function

- Who's there?

For the NSA guys out there :p

Right now someone at Google is coding something useless for us to laugh at on April Fools.

Don't be this guy 😂

Picture was taken right 'between' two years.

Architect: So, what's your dream bathroom?
Me: I'm a programmer.
Architect: Say no more!

Responsive rubber-ducking

You will never exit this fitness club. 😜

This is what my Team does when DB Servers are down!!!

My setup for 2017 ;)
2x phillips 40" 4k monitors.
Worth every penny!

People use rubber ducks and I'll be using an Octocat

ASCII 3D game. How beautiful.