Type letter "w" in wife's browser

"What is the ratio of open to closed doors in the world right now?"

"Why doesn't my baby molt her skin all at once while she grows?"

"Will Python help me to make a robot friend for my toddler daughter"

"Where do I buy tensors for building robot brains"

"Why don't we solve aging population and climate change by not vaccinating boomers"

Me: ... "Seriously, why can't you just watch hardcore porn, like a normal person"

I'm tired so I let my dog find the bug on my code.

Due to Coronavirus (COVID19) all TCP applications are being converted to UDP to avoid handshake.

LMFAOOOOOOO

My girlfriend knows what a coder needs when it’s their birthday. Lucky to have her. Walked into my room and it was set up like this.

Code Progression 😂

JavaScript starts here...

Eternal confusion.

A call I had today, girl registered a domain and put it in her hosting package:

Girl: so where can I view my email accounts?
Me: *explains*
G: Oh, I wanted an email address with info or my first name as part before the @ but I only see an account with the name of my hosting account username?
Me: that's right, that's a default one you get :)
G: oh 😞 I....I.... I've always have wanted a domain name with my own email addresses linked to it and I thought I could do that this way 😩
(I could hear the disappointment and that she seemed very sad suddenly)
Me: do you see that "create new email account" button up there?
G: Yes..... Wait.... Can I make like multiple email addresses myself?!
Me: as many as you can manage inside your hosting account!
G: 😵😍 OH MY GOD
Me: Haha, enjoy creating some!
G: THANK YOU I LOVE YOU BYE
*Click*

It's those moments which can make your fucking day!

2011: 3 billion devices run Java
2018: 3 billion devices run Java

Hey, have you ever wanted to punch a developer 8611 times before?

And my next blender will be...the autocomplete feature must be awesome.

Yesterday, my employer promoted me to lead web developer.

I’m still the only web developer.

This.

macOS treats chess like it's the System32 file in windows

admin
admin

Next time I try to install a server, I should check if the Ethernet cable is not broken.

😐

When a customer gets pissed because something doesn't work and you give a bullshit suggestion because you want to reply something at least and you get a reply like 'oh thanks it works now!'

o_O

Elon Musk: Space junk is a serious issue
Also Elon Musk: I put a Tesla into orbit lol

Love this guy

I believe this has saved us every so often...

Had a customer on the phone who couldn't figure something out. Wanted to give him instructions so I asked him whether he used mac or windows (getting used to not including Linux in that question). His reply: uhm this has a weird name... do you know elementary os?

Me: you're a Linux user?!
Him: yes, I'm done with windows and mac.

Then i gave him the instructions. Nice twist of the day!

There was a problem with a server we were staging on, and I was providing DevOps help remote.

As a joke I said, "haha if you run `sudo rm -rf / --no-preserve-root` everything will be fixed!"

They ran it. RIP server-kun 2016-2018 💨

Why do some female programmers place emphasis on their gender?

It's always: female programmer... Female web developer... Female android dev... Female Sysadmin... Etc

I mean, you don't see males saying "I'm a male programmer."

Female programmers aren't rare anymore. More and more of them are starting to program, so what's the point of emphasizing your gender?

For some reason, females think it's "special" to be a female programmer.

How does your gender relate to your skill?

My most successful project? The next one.

If that doesn't happen, read this again.

Professor essentially doing a dance to show data visualisation:
“Hey pay attention! I’m trading my dignity for your education”

Is java reaching multiple dimension to pull extra cpu power?

Just saw someone at school with a devRant sticker on his laptop 😃

No. More. Writing. Code. On. A. Fucking. Piece. Of. Paper.

 (╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻

Finally moved. My Internet speed went from 500kbs in general to 50mbs!

I can finally download por.... ISO's without having to wait for hours!

I cannot spell for shit, so my coworker keeps commenting on my pull requests with spelling fixes...

Decided to buy this for him today...