What's the point of using a framework if you don't use any of its features!? What the heck, I have to fix this damn web frontend that is so broken in many ways.

Instead of using an authentication middleware, every single view has the same block of code to check if a user is authenticated. Instead of templates, they used static HTML/JavaScript files and they passed data to pages through cookies.

The "REST" API is so messed up, nothing is resource-oriented, HTTP methods are chosen randomly as well as status codes. They are returning "412 Precondition Failed" instead of a plain simple "401 Unauthorized" when you're not authenticated! What the hell, did they even bother to check what 412 is about when they copied and pasted it from a crappy website!? I would never come up with 412, not even in my scariest nightmare.

What kind of drugs were they using when they wrote such code? Oh dear, I need a vacation...

I'm fed up of this shit. I'm a Bachelors student and I study in a class where no student wants to study. Like literally none. You'd think someone studying Bachelors degree would have some sense. But no. Not a fucking one of them. Our class requires a minimum number of students to attend to smoothly run the class. I am the CR and I can't convince them enough to even meet that level. How am I gonna get through these two years? I try to say something, everybody snaps at me for being a smartass. Which I'm clearly not. These are the same people who come at me when the courses to do finish in time. I am alone. I am getting too weak to stand against them. My self esteem is declining day by day. I am really insecure.

Put headphones on when I got to work at 7:30am.. it's 3:10pm and I just realised I never started playing music 😑

Shakespeare was not just a poem, but also an IT geek

Friend: "Why did you buy a Macbook Pro? Look at the specs, the RAM, the storage, the processor.. heck, ain't it overpriced? I wouldn't if I were you"

Me: "No, I didn't buy it. My company gave it to me when I joined them."

Friend: "Oh.. okay... hey, is there any job opening in your company?"

I used to work in a role that was basically tech support for engineers. Folks would call, we'd look at their code and see where things were going wrong.
One customer calls in, they're having timing problems with a satellite control system.
I dig down through their code, and buried in one of the modules is a comment to the effect of:
"Once we upgrade to Windows 98, we'll need to change this call to the precision counter"

They never did.

This system was running XP.
Somehow, they'd avoided destroying satellites despite having the code run on Win98, and ME without fixing that call. It wasn't until they upgraded to a multi core system and XP that their gyros stopped responding correctly.

Holy shit.

No matter how good your security is, you'll still have users...

My wife opens a document, writes her entire paper and uses the close ❌ button to save it.

I think I married an adrenaline junkie.

"How does your live chat work?"

A popular social media website in my country (which my friends and I were working on it's new design) was hacked and everyone on the dev side of the website was invited to the ministry of communications, believing we were going to discuss security of user data. The other guys (working on the back-end) were friends with the CEO (if you want to call it that) and naturally came to the meeting. They started to talk about the girls of their city. Meanwhile about 1.2 million user data encrypted with MD5 was out there.

Would love to try this volume slider. More over here — https://designernews.co/stories/...

My most ridiculous meeting was a meeting that I couldn't attend.

When I was working as a freelancer my companies CEO and me were invited by a client from another country (6 hours flight & hotel).
The meeting was scheduled for the day after our arrival.

After breakfast the CEO told me he would pick me up at the hotel lobby at 2pm. I waited for some hours, but he didn't come.
Later that day he told me that he met with the client already at 10am.

I am sure he told me the wrong time, because he was afraid that the client would try to headhunt me.

Meanwhile, someone had a plan.

Sleep schedule : fucked 😮
Eating schedule : fucked 😓
Me : not getting fucked 😭

When fixing things:
Linux = be root
Windows = reboot

I recently got a folded piece of paper from a young lady. I asked her if we want to meet again, but she only said "Open the folded piece of paper at home. ". At home i opened the fpop and it said "015772549658 <3".

Dammit i knew that she didnt want to meet again.

0 versus Null

Sad story about refactoring.
Programmer: I cleaned up the codes, extract reusable methods, reduced repetitive code and improve overall readability and maintainability.
Manager: why the page still display the same.
Programmer: ...

FUCK YOU, STOP FUCKING WITH ME! my stupid fucking colleague has just replaced all the semi colons in my repo with Greek question marks for the 5TH FUCKING TIME THIS MONTH. it wasn't funny to start, it isn't funny now, so take your fucking rat-like grin and hyena laugh and FUCK OFF AND WORK! fuck me

In case you want to ruin your coworker's day

Long long time ago... before CodeAge.. I like the rainbow one...

My favorite dev tool.

That moment when you are on terminal, you highlight text and press Ctrl+C, only to realize you have terminated a running job that was 90% complete.

There are 10 types of people in the world. Those who understand binary and those who get laid.

working on a better captcha...

Me - "Hey, would you like a coffee?"

Linux User - "Let me tell you about Linux."

...ANnnnd that kids, is how I made a federal watch list, researching how to use credit card swiping systems and making thermite.

Other: I need a computer with a very good graphics card because I do a lot of powerpoint presentations and excel charts.

Me: Sure, go on!

Boss: I'm glad you finished the project in just 25h no-stop
Me: I like cactus

Saving in Google documents. You never know...