By the time I’m able to put my baby girl to sleep, I get hungry again.....

I just remembered, I haven’t had pizza in a long time now...

fuck this year seriously

On Slack
Me: I can't access the VPN
Network team: You have to create a user incident
My browser: 403
Network team: Yeah you need to be on the VPN to access the incident system
Me: 😐

Oh my dog, why?

Today we were all called into a meeting and the CEO was livid. He went on a rage about how the CTO was wasting money on useless shit (GitHub Enterprise). He said I bought laptops for a reason if there’s a fire someone better protect our assets and code. He wouldn’t reason with us and went into github and deleted everything. The CTO was fired and no one is leading our team. Wondering if I should quit 😶

Ready for zero-g 👍

Someone with a verified payment account actually typed this.

As so is C++

You can't even make this shit up.

The British NCSC is stopping with the terms "blacklist" and "whitelist" because it would be racist...

Fucking oversensitive cocksuckers.

I already made it

Dark theme rocks , developers who use light theme while coding should be imprisoned and tortured by making them watch a 100GB download failing at 1kb left again and again

1500+ likes to get rid of this Mac-like notebook in my avatar! Now THIS is something I like to rant about.

How to boost profits

This is the first time an IDE has apologized to me.
PS: Dev notes, crash reports etc are excluded. This is the IDE saying sorry I can't do it, no matter what.

Trying to sleep!!!

Neo: "Why do my eyes hurt?"
Morpheus: "You've never used them before... REST Neo, the answers are coming"

See; it was never SOAP!

😂😂😂😂

*Manager enters the room quickly*

Manager: Coffe2Code, we have a serious problem on the application, (We are working on a chat app).

Me: What? now just few hours before the Demo?, what is it?

Manager: when I send or receive a media message (audio or video) the sound is not playing, the file seems like corrupted !

Me: that's strange, let me debug it and see.

*Me spending an hour and could not even reproduce the bug..*

Me: Boss, I cannot see the bug, can I debug on your device quickly?

Manager: Sure, here it is.

Me: hold the fucking device, press VOLUME UP, IT WAS FUCKING MUTE. THERE WAS NO ISSUE MOTHERFUCKER.

Manager, oups ok good no issue then, thanks

Let’s make an app like LinkedIn except for tech nerds who wanna date. We shall call it KinkedIn - Dating for Nerds!

"Don't deploy on Friday" is a public admittance that your company either has no CI/CD pipeline, or that all your devs are retarded rhesus monkeys who only wipe their ass if the product manager wrote it as a spec.

If the saying was: "Don't port your whole API to GraphQL on a Friday", or "Don't switch from MySQL to Postgres on a Friday", I would agree.

But you should be able to do simple deploys all the time.

I deployed on Christmas & New Year's eve. I've deployed code while high on LSD, drunk-peeing 2 liters of beer against a tree after a party. I've deployed code from the hospital while my foot was being stitched up. On average, we deploy our main codebase about 194 times a week.

If you can't trust your deploys, maybe instead of posting stupid memes about not deploying on Fridays, you should fix your testing & QA procedures.

when upgrading my pc...

@ynnk </3

Please sir please

Ssh Config is just porn.

Somebody at Samsung is testing something in production 🤭

It's "Find my mobile" which is preinstalled by default on Samsung devices

Testing in production?
Nice.
And that is an official Samsung App.

More Timezones

Found this gem somewhere on dev.to 😂😂

$.ajax({});

Behind every successful programmer there is a framework