My friend said this,

Roses are red,
The screen turned blue,
I'm not a programmer,
What the fuck do I do.

- Knock, knock

- An async function

- Who's there?

Girl: we need to talk

Me: OK

Girl: you seem to have more time for your computer than me. I want to know how important I am to you.

Me: You are the number 1 in my life.

Girl: *smiles and hugs me*

Me: (thinking)...Just that I start counting from 0

A group of wolves is called a pack.

A group of crows is called a murder.

A group of developers is called a merge conflict.

My girlfriend dumped me after I named a class after her. She felt I treated her like an object.

One dumb support down... 2 more to go.

Hm...I would except since COVID started, moved back to my parents, so use my dad's laptop for work... He uses it on weekends.

Yeap this help

There is a fine line between being a genius and psychopathy, and I’ve just snorted that line.

Stackoverflow mods be like

Oh boy :D I think it's more than Imposter Syndrome :D

Due to COVID-19 all TCP applications are being converted to UDP to avoid handshakes!

Let's scale this problem down

Now I know what it feels like to be an EC2 instance

Who needs April fools?
When your life is already a joke 😂🤣
#AprilFools

Gangster!

y=mx+b jokes are great but at some point we'll have to draw the line

The default value... 😂😂😂

Optimizing the queries and backend

OR

Hiding the waiting time with funny animations and weird preloading techniques

Catch: let marketing decide

Computer - Enter password
Man - password

Computer - Your password is incorrect
Man - incorrect

Computer - try again
Man - again

I do this all the fucking time

NOTE: not mine

Me - I am sorry my dog eats my homework

Comp sci professor - your dog eat your coding assignment?

Me - ...

Professor - ...

Me - it took him couple bytes

You can learn Css in one day they said, its easy they said

Found on 9GAG.

Feeling lazy to type

Sysadmins should not be doctors

Linux runs on anything. Even Orkas

Happy Halloween :)

I leave this here and slowly withdraw

Welcome to the future guys.