Tips for people new to programming

1. Start counting from zero
2. Trees are upside down, root's probably at the top
3. Warnings are usual, go rogue!

What more? 😂

Best 404 page I have ever seen 😊

https://acm.illinois.edu/404

Last time, my friend said CSS stands for
"Custom Sexy Styles" (dig into my older rants)

This time, he said
"Centering Somewhat Sucks"

Now he knows the deal.

Oh no!

Boss: “Our YouTube channel doesn’t look at all like our website.”

Me: “I’ve made it look as close to our branding as YouTube allows for with its limited editing controls.”

Boss: “This is unacceptable. I expected more from you.”

Me: “I cannot accept the blame for this. YouTube is setting the design parameters for all channels and I can only do so much.”

Boss: “You can call the YouTube, can’t you? Why didn’t you call them?”

Me: “.......and ask them....what?”

Boss: “You don’t ask! You tell! Our company has been around for 140 years. Our brand name carries that weight. They’ll change their design to what we need if you’re assertive enough.”

Me: “Ma’am, that’s just not how this works. That’s not how any of this works.”

Our website doesn't look the same on phone and desktop.

Please remove responsivness.

My brother and I were checking out this new restaurant that had opened up recently. As we enter,

I inadvertently blurt out, "Hey! This place has a nice UI!"

Brother - "Wut?"

Me - "Ambience, I meant ambience."

🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔

I recently met a young fella (14yo) playing League of Legends. He asked:
- What do you do for a living?
- I'm a programmer, do you know anything about programming?
- I don't, actually.

Apparently he was playing from a LAN Gaming center 'cause he didn't have a computer at home (his computer had broken and these Lan centers are pretty affordable).
I figured I could explain to him what was it and what super powers you could get from it. Turns out I recommended a JS course in codecademy and now he goes to the LAN center every day to study programming (he got really into it!).
Now he always pings me with questions about JS and apparently he's learning a ton! He had almost no English skills too (we're Brazilian), and because most of the material in the internet is in English he found himself some free English courses and he's now taking them!

Knowledge is free on the internet and I guess he's just realized that.

Not exactly a rant guys, just figured it was a nice story to tell :)
#TeachAKidHowToCode

TCP Jedi: Master, how are you?
UDP Jedi: Good i am.

credit:@AlgoRythm

Dear people who complain about spending a whole night to find a tiny syntax error; Every time I read one of your rants, I feel like a part of me dies.

As a developer, your job is to create elegant optimized rivers of data, to puzzle with interesting algorithmic problems, to craft beautiful mappings from user input to computer storage and back.

You should strive to write code like a Michelangelo, not like a house painter.

You're arguing about indentation or getting annoyed by a project with braces on the same line as the method name. You're struggling with semicolons, misplaced braces or wrongly spelled keywords.

You're bitching about the medium of your paint, about the hardness of the marble -- when you should be lamenting the absence of your muse or the struggle to capture the essence of elegance in your work.

In other words:

Fix your fucking mindset, and fix your fucking tools. Don't fucking rant about your tabs and spaces. Stop fucking screaming how your bloated swiss-army-knife text editor is soooo much better than a purpose-built IDE, if it fails to draw something red and obnoxious around your fuck ups.

Thanks.

This was my birthday cake. Thanks mom!

Java is to JavaScript

: what Car is to Carpet
: what Swift is to Suzuki Swift
: what Perl is to a Pearl
: what Ruby is to a Ruby Gemstone
: what Go is to Go Home
: what Shell is to Sea Shell
: what Bash is to Big Bash
: what Alice is to Alice in wonderland
: what Rust is to Rusty Theron
: what Awk is to your Awkward cousin
: what Dart is to Darts
: what Julia is to Julia Roberts
: what Korn is to Corn
: what Maple is to Syrup
: what Caml is to a Camel
: what CHILL is to Netflix
: what Crack is to Crack
: what Curl is to Curls
: what Hugo is to Boss

To be continued..

Have a joke? Say it in comments
Criteria : programming language on left , analog on right

We all have a Superpower!
But we must keep it a secret....

Harry: Sir, I thought you couldn' t Apparate within Hogwarts?
Dumbledore: sudo apparate

This is what most people do... lol 😂😂😂😂 😂

Screw Emojis!!

Client asks how many days will it take to implement feature XYZ.

I say 3 days. But Skype had other plans.

"Does it work in IE?"

No, and I don't care.

Screw Java.

The only expressions devs have

Got hacked in a day after deploying my first site. 😑 I just started developing. Well, I am thankful for that person to point it out to me otherwise I wouldn't have known.

Let's clarify:
* Github is not Git
* Android is not Java
* Unit test is not TDD
* Java is not OOP
* Docker is not Devops
* Jenkins is not CI
* Agile is not institutionalised total chaos
* Developer is not Printer Support

Well he did the right thing

This one is beyond help or repair 😂😂😂😂😂

Reason why Devs like me can't have a Bae or a side project :

Piece of shit admin installed a chrome plugin which changed the new tab to no internet default image ... The whole office was pranked

And that's why we're all single...

Valentine Programming :(

Linux ❤️

My first calculator