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LocationNew York
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Joined devRant on 6/20/2020
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What it's like to be a network engineer...translated into normal people speak
User: I think we are having a major road issue.
Me: What? No, I just checked, the roads are fine. I was actually just on the roads.
User: No, I’m pretty sure the roads are down because I’m not getting pizzas.
Me: Everything else on the roads is fine. What do you mean you aren’t getting pizzas?
User: I used to get pizzas when I ordered them, now I’m not getting them. It has to be a road issue.
Me: As I said, the roads are fine. Where are you getting pizzas from?
User: I’m not really sure. Can you check all places that deliver pizzas?
Me: No I don’t even know all the places that deliver pizza. You need to narrow it down.
User: I think it is Subway.
Me: Okay, I’ll check…No, I just looked and Subway doesn't deliver pizzas.
User: I’m pretty sure it is Subway. Can you just allow all food from Subway and we can see if pizza shows up?
Me: Sigh, fine I’ve allowed all food from Subway, but I don’t think that is the issue.
User: Yeah I’m still not getting pizza. Can you check the roads?
Me: It’s not the roads, the roads are fine. I’m pretty sure Subway isn’t the place.
User: Okay, I found it. It’s Papa Johns.
Me: Okay, I looked and Papa Johns does deliver pizza. Is it the local Papa Johns or one in a different town?
User: I don’t know. Can you allow pizza from all Papa Johns to me?
Me: No I can’t do that. Can you get me an address for Papa Johns?
User: No, I only know it as Papa Johns. Can you get me all the addresses of all Papa Johns and I’ll tell you if one of them is correct?
Me: No, I don’t have time for that. Okay, I looked at the local one and it looks like they have sent you pizza in the past and they are currently allowed to send you pizzas. Try ordering a pizza while I watch.
User: Yeah still no pizza. I’m guessing they are getting blocked at the freeway. Can you check the freeway to make sure they can get through?
Me: No, this is a local delivery. They aren't even using the freeway.
User: Okay, well then it has to be a road issue.
Me: No, the roads are fine. Okay, I just drove from the Papa Johns to the address they have on file for you and there is nothing there.
User: Hmm, wait we did move recently.
Me: Did you give your new address to Papa Johns?
User: No, I just thought they would be able to look me up by name.
Me: No they need your new address. What’s your new address?
User: I’m not really sure. Can you look it up?
Me: Sigh, give me a second…Okay, I found your address and gave it to Papa Johns. Try ordering a pizza now.
User: HEY! PIZZA JUST SHOWED UP!
Me: Okay, good.
User: (To everyone else they know) I apologize for the delay in the pizza but there was a major road issue that was preventing the pizza from getting to me. The network engineer has fixed the roads and we are able to get pizza again.
Me: But it wasn’t the roads…whatever.
User: Oh, can you also check on an issue where Chinese food isn’t getting to me? I think it may be a road issue49 -
*Now that's what I call a Hacker*
MOTHER OF ALL AUTOMATIONS
This seems a long post. but you will definitely +1 the post after reading this.
xxx: OK, so, our build engineer has left for another company. The dude was literally living inside the terminal. You know, that type of a guy who loves Vim, creates diagrams in Dot and writes wiki-posts in Markdown... If something - anything - requires more than 90 seconds of his time, he writes a script to automate that.
xxx: So we're sitting here, looking through his, uhm, "legacy"
xxx: You're gonna love this
xxx: smack-my-bitch-up.sh - sends a text message "late at work" to his wife (apparently). Automatically picks reasons from an array of strings, randomly. Runs inside a cron-job. The job fires if there are active SSH-sessions on the server after 9pm with his login.
xxx: kumar-asshole.sh - scans the inbox for emails from "Kumar" (a DBA at our clients). Looks for keywords like "help", "trouble", "sorry" etc. If keywords are found - the script SSHes into the clients server and rolls back the staging database to the latest backup. Then sends a reply "no worries mate, be careful next time".
xxx: hangover.sh - another cron-job that is set to specific dates. Sends automated emails like "not feeling well/gonna work from home" etc. Adds a random "reason" from another predefined array of strings. Fires if there are no interactive sessions on the server at 8:45am.
xxx: (and the oscar goes to) fuckingcoffee.sh - this one waits exactly 17 seconds (!), then opens an SSH session to our coffee-machine (we had no frikin idea the coffee machine is on the network, runs linux and has SSHD up and running) and sends some weird gibberish to it. Looks binary. Turns out this thing starts brewing a mid-sized half-caf latte and waits another 24 (!) seconds before pouring it into a cup. The timing is exactly how long it takes to walk to the machine from the dudes desk.
xxx: holy sh*t I'm keeping those
Credit: http://bit.ly/1jcTuTT
The bash scripts weren't bogus, you can find his scripts on the this github URL:
https://github.com/narkoz/...56 -
Website design philosophies:
Apple: "...and a really big picture there, and a really big picture there, and a really big picture there, and..."
Microsoft: "border-radius:0 !important;"
Google: "EVERYTHING MOVES!!! And most websites get material design. Most."
Amazon: "We're slowly moving away from 2009"
Wix: "How can we further increase load times?"
Literally any download site: "Click here! No, click here! Nononono!! Click here!!..."
Facebook: "We can't change anything because our main age demographic is around 55"
University websites: "That information isn't hard enough to find yet. Decrease the search accuracy and increase broken links."32 -
I switched from CS programming to AI research field and I almost forgot about this community: it's quite a while i don't have a rant to share :)
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5 minutes downtime: "I lost millions because of you"
$100 extra on invoice: "it's too much I don't make money"6 -
One of those days when i feel like complete shit and wish i hadn’t woken up.
I heard back from an interview i did last week (one of the faang type) and the recruiter started with “You didn’t impress any of your interviewers”. Man that hurt. I can’t unhear that. He went ahead to say they all recommended a mid-level role for me (they apparently said i had potential and could easily grow into a senior eng) instead of the senior lead i applied for. This is also subject to getting approval to hire mid-level engineers because the team needs more people but they only got approval to hire senior engineers. This cunt also added “dont worry about it. Just go about your usual business and i’ll call you next week if we have gotten the approval”. Ass! All i can do is worry because that is what i do best.
I think i am more sad and disappointed in myself because i thought the interviews went well. Wrote decent code and came up with good solutions on time. Had a good conversation with interviewers. Apparently for a senior, you cannot make mistakes which i did but once the interviewer gave me a clue, i got back on track.
Anyway, i slept with this anxiety, then woke up with tummy ache. On the drive out this morning to go to the bank, i drove my car into a pole and broke off my side mirror. Then my fucking power generator stopped working. And on my way to go and get my fixed mirror from the mechanic, my exhaust pipe broke in half due to a possible pothole i drove into.
Those fucking days where all that could go wrong goes wrong. My head is fucking pounding i can barely move my head without wincing. I am running out of money fast (i support my entire family) and i am worried about not getting a job. This blow to my confidence makes me feel worthless like i am not good for anything. Recruiter suggested i do another senior engineer interview for a different team which i passed the test for but i know the outcome would most likely be the same and i wanted the first team really bad. I just want to lie in bed and cry all day but this fucking headache won’t let me. -
Trying to spend non-work time doing things other than coding. Which means picking up new hobbies. 😅
Currently trying to teach myself how to draw cartoon cats.
Today, I worked on facial expressions.
12 -
What do you guys use to write unit tests in C? I look at some libs such as check, cmocka, gtest etc, but they all seem like way more than I need. Also, I have a hard time to separate test files and source code files (directory structure wise).
Any recommendations?5 -
You've got to be a masochist to be a javascript/typescript developer.
Each time I come back to the npm-related parts of my project, the application won't start because of some dependencies nonsense. And I know for sure I left the project working perfectly last time.
Every time... every fucking time! Just leave the project unattended for a week and be sure you'll find it dead next time.
I mean I as a developer don't really have to do ANYTHING for my code to break.
How can people love javascript is a mystery to me.15 -
Anyone else suffering from CWE-126? (Buffer Over-read)
I'm struggling to find the right solution for fixing my issues with string operations.
Here's the Codacy report for those who want to see: https://app.codacy.com/manual/...
I'm creating more issues than fixing it. God damn it, C.3 -
Can we please stop using continuous delivery on mobile. I don't want to update your app every other week just because you decided to change a comment.
Also Bugfixes and improvements doesn't say anything as a changelog!5 -
Why do all remote jobs on the web mostly accept developers from North America and Europe?
I am a Nigerian who has been looking for a job for a while now since I had to quit my previous job and most remote jobs I find online are either only accepting candidates from North America or from Europe. Is there a reason for this? Tax issues or what? If it is due to tax issues then why do they accept application from other continents? What happened to Africa?5 -
Just an FYI for those that don't know. You can send poop to anyone in the world. There are vendors that do this as a service.
For example: https://poopsenders.com/
Then I realized this is SAAS, Shit As A Service.6 -
I want to call out the absolute retard at Oracle who decided that file modes should be read from the envvar called UMASK and be in decimal by default.
They probably never cared about file permissions.1 -
5 years ago, in my first week of starting this particular job, the CTO casually mentioned they'd been struggling with a bug for years. Basically, in the last few days of the year, it seemed that records were jumping a year ahead, with no rhyme nor reason why. Happened every year, and wasn't linked with them deploying new code. (Their code was a mess with no sane way to unit test it, but that was a separate issue.)
I happened to know immediately what might be causing it - so I ran a case-sensitive search in the codebase for "YYYY", pointed out the issue, explained it, then committed a fix all in about 2 minutes.
I was told I'd officially passed my probation.
(Search for "week year vs year" if you're curious & the above doesn't ring any bells.)6 -
I am watching Korean tv series
And I am hooked
I find their storyline and cinematography far superior, also during coding i like to listen sounds that I can’t understand
Do you guys have any suggestions on some famous Korean drama3 -
Disclaimer: I can't 'officially' verify this.
I've been using Firefox as main browser with about 5 addons for added privacy for ages now. When googles (fucking) reCaptcha takes more than a few minutes on Firefox (about 90 percent of the time, I'm estimating), I switch to Chromium (with the same amount of (similar) privacy addons) so I can go on with my stuff.
Now, I recently thought 'why not try to do user agent spoofing on Firefox to see if reCaptcha would start working 'normally'?
So, I installed a user agent spoofing addon on Firefox/Chromium, results:
Without spoofing:
Firefox reCaptcha success rate: 10 percent approx. (mostly 2+ minutes)
Chromium: 90 percent. (mostly instant)
With spoofing:
Firefox: 90 percent approx.
Chromium: 10-20 percent approx.
Again, I can't prove any of this yet but mother of fucking god, whenever using Chromium or spoofing Chromium on Firefox the succession rate skyrockets.
Google, what the fuck are you up to?12 -
I cannot believe its 2020 and I'm reading: Customize font size for navigation items & tabs as "New Features!"
From Apple:
With an all-new design that looks great on macOS Big Sur, Xcode 12 has customizable font sizes for the navigator, streamlined code completion, and new document tabs5
